Papa's love

As a little girl Nadia learnt early on what it meant to be a woman. To be able to tend for others, have a clean home and respect the head of the household; and of course, know when to be silent

She always wondered why mama would yell at her when papa was nearly home and dinner was not yet ready, in her eyes, he was a loving and gentle man always with kindness in his eyes. Mama made it clear dinner needs to served and warm water in a jug next to the basin for when papa was home

‘Tonight, we have a special guest’ mama said in the morning. The last time this had happened was exactly 2 years ago on my 9th birthday. That day we cleaned up the house, cooked then brought out the special plates and cups with the drinks preserved for the men out on the side for them to help themselves. At the end of the night, I had to wash up and put everything back in its place as mama had been called to bed by papa

I knew today would be no different

After the day's preparations were done and everything set out, mama sent me off to wash and prepare before papa and the guests arrived

I picked up the soap and my kanga and head out to the shared community shower stalls carrying the half-filled bucket of water mama had left by the door for me

‘Are you ready to be leaving this hell?’ Benny asked as he walked toward me to help carry the water

‘What do you mean leave? And anyway, you know mama will be upset with me if she finds you here’

Benny and I had grown up together however of late, mama disapproved of our friendship. Together we had been up to all sorts of mischief, with scars to show for it from the trees we hid in to avoid getting caught. Of course, we did get caught at times and papa was never happy about a girl climbing trees or running around the yard. We would still do it again even after we got punished by both sets of parents

‘I heard your off to live in some fancy house across the bridge’ Benny responded setting down the bucket of water

‘You must have hit your head pretty hard this time Benny. You know no one here goes across the bridge unless you have a work permit’ I pushed him aside and entered the shower as I knew mama would come looking if I took too long

After scrubbing myself down, I opened the door to find Benny holding something wrapped in an old newspaper with a shy almost concerned look in his eyes. The moment he saw me he pushed whatever was worrying him out of his mind and handed it to me

‘What’s this Benny? please don’t tell me you swiped it from the factory’ I jokingly said to him

‘One of these days you will stop teasing me and maybe look at me differently’ I thought I heard him say but it was too quiet so I let it go

‘It’s just something small for you to remember me by. Don’t open it now! I think I hear your mama coming’ he said and dashed off before I could even respond. I hid the small present in my dirty clothes and head on out to meet mama before she caught me wasting time just standing there

Her disapproving gaze at me let me know I had taken longer than was appropriate, this was a relief as it would have been worse had she seen Benny too

Later that night when all the guests had arrived, papa asked me to come into the room to pour water for the men to wash their hands. This was highly unusual since mama always did this

After getting her nod of approval, I picked up the jug and basin and headed into the room. ‘Yes, that will be alright’ said one of the men to papa nodding approvingly at me. That man was Matthew which I was going to find out later on. I didn’t know what was going on so I left the room and held on to the small gift Benny had given me earlier on remembering his words.

I knew if I had dared ask what this strange man meant I would be embarrassing my papa which I could never do.

Soon the guests started leaving apart from the man that had spoken when was in the room together with his wife

‘Time for you to become a woman now’ mama said looking at me with tears in her eyes

‘what do you mean? Mama! Mama!’ I shook her trying to get a response. She had this blank expression in her eyes fixed staring at something that wasn’t there

The door was opened and for the first-time papa yelled at me asking what was taking so long ‘you're not a child anymore! Pack your things and get ready’ he said slamming the door behind him

‘I picked up my kanga and two dresses that I owned and put them in a plastic bag with tears streaming down my face. Mama still hadn’t moved from where she sat on the floor and with her dress ridden up, I could see visible bruises I had never seen before that shocked me into a different reality

She saw me looking and quickly covered up snapping at me to hurry up before I got us both into trouble

When I re-entered the main room Matthew and papa were having a chat at the door.

His wife came up to me, and without saying a word picked up my belongings and gently pushed me towards the door

‘Papa?’ I tried to get his attention but she grabbed my hand in a clear signal to know my place and keep my mouth shut

Stepping out of the house I could feel more than see Benny watching; knowing I had already missed my chance to say goodbye, I hoped we would meet again in this life

I wanted to scream and shout but tradition did not allow me any of this. I also knew I would be alone with nothing if I did

I quietly got into the car not really ready or caring what I had to face moving forward. They asked me to hide under the seats so I clutched on to the small present Benny had given me earlier that day as if it was oxygen in the small space

‘stop for inspection’ a police man said at the bridge check point

I had heard this was routine to ensure no slum side citizens got through

Looking up, I saw my new owner produce a lump of cash for the officer and though this may be my chance

I had found £20,000 underneath my seat where I was hiding and was ready to make a dash for it

There was screaming and gunshots from people chasing me but I didn’t care. Opening the present from Benny, I held the little black book close to my heart with a promise we would meet again.