Not all Heroes Wear Tights

My Dear Sweet Tyson,

I know you know I love you with all my heart. But have I ever told you how you saved me?

When I lost Alysia it was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. I know I have told you stories of angel Alysia. She would of just adored you as much as I do, but she took her own life at 13. Your mom Amy had her world turned upside down. She was 11yrs old at the time we lost her sister Alysia. I tried my hardest to help mommy Amy through her grief. She was my inspiration to figure out how to deal with all my grief and feelings. Amy was very angry, lost and confused. I say can’t blame her for how she felt. I was an adult and I was having a hard time. So I could only imagine how she felt, no kid should ever have to deal with all the tough stuff mommy Amy did. Four years after losing angel Alysia, Great Grandma Linda had an accident that left her unable to walk. Me and your aunts took turns at the hospital talking care of our mom. It was a really challenging time. If we weren’t going through enough already Great Grandpa G had a heart attack. He was in the hospital for several days. Mommy Amy was beside herself with worry. Great Grandpa G and mommy Amy have a special bond, she has always looked up to her grandpa.

Mommy Amy was angry and very rebellious. She was doing a lot of things she wasn’t suppose to. She ended up getting pregnant with you when she was barely 16. I was shocked to learn I was going to be a grandma at 38 years old. Once I adjusted to the idea of being a young grandma I started to get very excited for your arrival. With all the tough stuff our family was dealing with we needed anything or someone wonderful to come into our lives, that was you my sweet boy.

The day you were born was one of the best days of my life! I was right beside mommy Amy when you were born. I got the cut your cord and hold you within minutes after you were born. You were this beautiful blonde haired adorable little boy. You made my heart melt the moment I saw you. As you know mommy Amy was still working through her tough stuff when you were born. She loved you and tried to do her best to care for you but she was having a super hard time. When you were a few months old I started caring for you all the time. Eventually I got custody of you. We still seen mommy Amy but not as much. She was very sad and upset that she couldn’t take proper care of you. I had to learn all the baby stuff that I forgot. You were such a good baby!! Rarely cried and was always happy. What you don’t know is that I was struggling with feelings that I tried to hide. I lost angel Alysia 5 years earlier then mommy Amy was angry with me and the world. I felt like I was a bad mom. I know I wasn’t a prefect mom but I tried my best always. When you came into my world you lift my spirits gave me a reason to get up everyday…. You were a blessing! I have loved watching you grow up into a wonderful young man. You are funny, smart, handsome and so creative. I am amazed at everything you have accomplished in your 13 years of life. I can’t believe you are heading to high school in a few short months. I can’t wait to see what you will do when you are an adult.

Most people envision a hero as a muscular man in tights and a cape. My hero came with a diaper and an adorable little smile. No words can ever express how much you saved me from my world of darkness. You needed me but I needed you way more.

Thank you

Love Mom aka grandma