My Story

My story is going to start from the beginning and end with the man in this picture, the man who is my husband.

It started out with me being abandoned at birth by my birth father and it just being my mother. I was raised by my mother, grandfather and grandmother who is no longer with us and I miss her every day. My birth father never wanted anything to do with me ever. He was an alcoholic and not the kind of person you wanted in your life. I recently tried to reach out to him, I finally started to wonder. I mean I always wondered throughout my entire life who he was and what he was like, but at nearly 34 years of age I finally wanted to reach out. So I researched and scoped out Facebook for anyone I thought might know him, and guess what? I did it. I found someone. I talked to that person got to know them a little bit and asked if I could give them my number to give to him, so he could give him a call if he felt up to it. I guess I am a dreamer who dreamt up a dream to big because I waited for that call for 3 months and heard nothing from this man that is supposed to be my birth father. In a way I got my hopes up and thought that maybe, just a little bit of me thought just maybe he would call after nearly 34 years of not knowing or ever hearing anything about his daughter. I'm not the kind of person to ask anyone for anything. I don't want anything from him. All I am is a person wanting to know more about her birth father and where she came from. That all came crashing down when I found out that the person I gave my number to to give to him never actually gave him the number because he refused to take it. I was lied to for 3 months and told that he took it like I am some small child who's feelings are going to get hurt that he didn't really actually have my number. I went nearly 34 years of my life not knowing him and not even caring and my life has been one heck of a ride without him. I did not care as a child and I don't now. When I was around 1 years old another man came into my mom's life and he is now the man that I know as my father. He was there for my school Christmas concerts, band recitals, taught me how to ride a horse, when my first tooth fell out, taught me how to do math without a calculator, graduation, the birth of my daughter, and even walked me down the isle at my wedding. That is the man that I call my father. There are some good and bad things about him, but everyone has the good and bad things about them. He will always be my father for better or worse, no matter what.

Let's just skip the elementary school years because those were no fun. I think about the only exciting thing or rather eventful things that happened then was when I got beat up by a cat when I was 5 and my best friend tripped me in the hallway at school and I chipped my tooth when I was 9. At school when your teachers say no running in the hallways, they absolutely without a doubt mean no running in the hallways. I chipped off half my front middle tooth and it was so painful. Probably as painful as braking your arm, which I have never done so I wouldn't know. So now let's move on to when all the fun stuff begins.

This is really when I found myself and discovered what I truly loved and it was a match made in heaven. I mean middle school was tough, puberty and finding yourself made life hard but these 2 things that I discovered in my life made my life even easier. . .music and art. I started playing the clarinet and I remember my parents buying me a clarinet at an instrument fair in 5th grade. They told me "Lena, you better play this thing forever because it wasn't cheap." I was 10 years old when they bought me that clarinet and I played it literally forever. I played it in middle school band, high school band, a clarinet ensemble, jazz band, marching band, and a symphonic orchestra at the local college after I graduated high school. Although I haven't played it in awhile, I still have it sitting in my closet after 24 years. That instrument brought me so much joy and I promised them that I would play it forever and I did. In addition to learning to play the clarinet, I learned to play the tuba, euphonium, bass clarinet, alto clarinet, drums, and the piano. My love for the clarinet brought me the love for the jazz musician, Benny Goodman, always my favourite. Music has always brought me so much joy, peace and tranquility. It was the one of the things that I could always count on to be there for me, the other is art that I had newly discovered. Now let me tell you in middle school I was not the greatest artist then, the skill had to be developed and nurtured. Leonardo da Vinci and Vincent Van Gogh were always who I inspired to be like. But first I had to develop my skill and in order to do that I had to learn and that's what I did. It took years of practice. I started out by tracing from a colouring book. I would put a piece of paper over a picture and trace from that and keep doing that until eventually I didn't need to anymore. Trust me when I say that my art in the middle school years was messy and terrible, oh man was it ever. It started to get pretty good around 9th grade and I was like "WOW! What's happening here?" Now I can draw from my own mind or photos that I go out and take myself. Apparently, that I get from my grandfather as I am always being told. He is a very good painter.

High school, this is the time when you are supposed to become yourself and have yourself figured out. I couldn't figure out myself. I always felt like the loser in the back of the class. I mean I had a couple friends but they weren't what I felt like as the really good friends. They never invited me to the parties. I was never in the in-crowd, like I said I was "the loser in the back of the class." I only have one friend from high school but we didn't graduate together and we still talk to each other once in awhile. We met in high school in an art class. All those people you meet and the classes you take all have to configure into what you want to do in the next few years. There is no time to waste. You have 3 years to figure out what you want to be in college/university once you finish high school. At this time in your life, you will change your mind again and change it 1000 times. You can't help it. This is how your life will be. I know I changed mine so many times. I was choosing between being an architect, musician, or a commercial artist. In high school, I was in the International Baccalaureate Art Program for all 3 years of high school. I found out during this program that I had a fascination for Japanese ink painting called Sumi-e. I absolutely loved it and taught myself how to do it. I learned to combine it with Japanese ink and watercolor, which looked so beautiful. I was in many music classes also. Busy between school band, clarinet ensemble, drumline, marching band and music competitions that took me all over the world. I think that in completing the IB Art Program is what made me decide to become a commercial artist. So I found a program online at the Art Instruction School in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I applied and got a letter back saying someone from the school would be coming to my home to check out my artwork and I would get an answer from there. In June of 2005, a professor from the school arrived at my home and looked over everything and welcomed me to the school. I was so excited, I accepted. This was a different kind of school. It wasn't one where you actually attended the school, they would send the work as you did it and you send it back to them as you finished. I graduated high school in 2005 and from then on I was on my own.

After high school came art school, I did the work as they sent it to me. I learned things that I never even knew about before. New techniques that I didn't learn in high school and it was all so fascinating. My drawing abilities became even more advanced. I thanked the school for everything they did and when school was finished I looked for jobs. Unfortunately, when you become a commercial artist work is not always guaranteed. You need to know the right people and have to be good enough. Apparently, I was not good enough for any of the jobs I applied for. That education that I got just wasn't enough and I was not able to ever use it. I was disappointed in myself for not choosing a better, more full-filling profession that would get me somewhere in life. In 15 years, I have never not once used anything to do with my education of becoming a commercial artist. Not everything works out for everyone or maybe my time is still coming. I have sold paintings out there in the world to people though, so I mean it's not all bad. Things happen for a reason I suppose. This is where the rest of my story continues. Let's keep reading.

My daughter, she is one of the best things in my life and she came to me when I was 21. Her birth lasted 18 very painful hours as I was not taking any pain medication, that was not in my birth plan. Now neither was a C-section, but that still had to happen anyways as she was too big. That girl was born on May 3, 2008 at 12:01 a.m. at 8 pounds 1 ounce. She was born with a head full of thick brown hair. I remember the nurses telling me when I finally woke up, after being out from anesthesia, that she looked like she had just come from the salon. That beautiful girl of mine and I have been through so much since she was born. She is amazing at art just like I am, but really good at her age compared to me. One of the biggest things she had to go through was 2 years ago when she lost her daddy. A 10 year old that had to have her mommy tell her that her daddy was never coming around to visit and she was never going to go stay at his place again for a visit because he had passed away. It has now been 2 years and it is still harder than ever for her, but I know that one day it will get a little bit easier and I will always be here for her. She has had an amazing stepfather be a part of her life for the last 10 years and he has been great and will always be there for her. This year 13 is the big one coming up for her and we may not be able to anything for her with her friends because COVID has ruined that.

I can't forget to add in here that I am a self-taught baker and cook. Cupcakes are a specialty of mine. I took a medical transcription course and I work from home, close to 12 hours a day some days doing that. I love that job so much. Photography has become a passion of mine, landscapes, people and animals.

Let's get to the ending of my story.

I met the man in that picture at one of the most vulnerable and horrible times in my life, but he somehow stuck around for 10 years now. In the beginning we absolutely hated each other, like the kind of hate where you absolutely despise someone. Now I am pretty sure that I cannot say the words on this platform but. . . I am sure you get it. I had been through some pretty rough relationships before this man came along and even though we hated each other in the beginning it has been an amazing 10 years. It first started out with a drunken, lets see what can happen to her when she gets really drunk kind of night or maybe it was my anxiety of just being in really crappy relationships and I was nervous. I remember telling him as I fell into a bush that he was "really, really hot". He had asked where I lived so he could take me home and I couldn't even tell him that, so I believe he took me to his house and I woke up on the couch the next morning. Then I believe I snuck out and went home. That was a fun night. We moved in with each other after a month, which is kind of fast but I just knew it was right. I felt safe with him and with him around my daughter. My daughter took to him so fast. She just loved him. He has a nickname for her and after 10 years still calls her it, "Monster". But to be honest she is a little monster. He has 2 amazing children of his own, a son and daughter. I took them in and treat them as my own. This big family of 5 is so much fun. We took family day trips to Vancouver and walked through Stanley Park and on the waterfront. Harrison Hot Springs is one of our favourite places to go in the summer. It's so beautiful there. Go for walks in areas like Bridal Falls, Cheam Wetlands, Great Blue Heron Reserve, Vedder River and tons of other places. He loves to support his family and would do anything for any of us. This man is the most caring, sweetest man I know. He loves with his whole heart. That man took almost 6 years before he asked me to marry him. It was in the sweetest way too, with candles set up all over our bedroom on Christmas Eve. He always had said he didn't want to because marriage is "just a piece of paper". Yes, that is true. But it also means more than just that. It means forever. It's a commitment that you will be there for each other no matter what, through thick and thin, the good and the bad. No matter what. You will be each others person. Then a year and a half after that we got married on August 11, 2018. That was one of the best days of my life, despite not having everyone that I really cared about there. Three of the most important people were missing for me. Marrying this man was my endgame and I did it. Now in 2021, we are still together. In the past year we have tackled COVID together, been through 3 quarantines in the past year which was not exactly pleasant but marriage can withstand anything, being almost completely broke and fighting over no work but we have survived it. Marriage isn't easy but you have to take it as it comes. Never give up until you know for sure that it is the end.

This man is my forever. Always.