My real story Ahmad Gillani

Until my mother was alive, our conditions were stable, but after her passing, life took a drastic turn. I will talk about my childhood feelings another time; for now, I’ll only say this:

May Allah never test anyone in such a way.

It took about 19 years after my mother's death to bring some control over our circumstances. Things had just been improving for the past 3 years since my elder brother was martyred.

An important detail: around 18–20 days before my elder brother Hamid Gillani’s martyrdom, my father was in an accident. It’s worth mentioning how this happened.

My father was riding a bike, unaware of the mini-truck following behind. A car driving at high speed struck him while he was turning the bike towards the opposite side of the road near a factory he was heading to.

The one who informed us about the accident was my cousin Shahbaz, my uncle’s son, whom my father had helped get a job at the same factory. Shahbaz worked at a computer weighing station near the road.

He noticed a lone bike moving strangely on the highway, then heard the crash. He rushed to the scene and found my father injured.

My father had several injuries on his body and head, and his ear was bleeding profusely. He was taken to the local hospital, but the staff said they lacked the necessary facilities for internal head injuries.

He was referred to Rawalpindi, which is about 4 hours from Mianwali.

I learned about the accident through a phone call from Shahbaz, who told me they were already in Rawalpindi. At the time, I was in college and used to study alone in an open plot near our house. When I heard the news, I was stunned and couldn’t process my emotions. I fell onto the grass and cried uncontrollably.

After composing myself, I went to the mosque to pray for my father. The next day, I borrowed some money from a friend and traveled to Rawalpindi. Seeing my father’s condition in the hospital was painful, but I tried to stay strong.

The doctors were amazed after performing neurosurgery, saying they didn’t expect such a successful outcome given his age and the severity of his injuries. They said only 10% of such cases survive, and most patients lose their memory. But my father was completely fine and recognized everyone.

After returning home, my father was still recovering when my elder brother was martyred just 18 days later. Hamid Gillani, who served in the Rangers, was shot in the head during a mission. To this day, we don’t know if it was a terrorism operation or something else, as he was also working with a secret agency.

My brother had been married for only 7 months before his death. His widow filed a case to claim compensation and pension, but the army has dragged us into court. It has been 8 years, and we haven’t received any dues. Meanwhile, my brother’s widow has remarried.

Currently, my father is doing a small local job, but we still struggle to repay debts. The lawyer we hired also cheated us and took our money.

This is the ongoing situation, and despite all my efforts over the past 5 years, things remain difficult.

We feel immense sorrow and pain. Life no longer feels like our own; it seems as though we came into this world for no purpose. I don’t know when I’ll be able to gain control over my circumstances.

A friend once suggested that I work on Medium, saying it could be a source of income. But the surprising thing is that ever since I started, I’ve earned amounts like 50 cents, 20 cents, or 82 cents. Today, I haven’t earned anything at all.

Life has been extremely difficult, filled with hard work and heavy labor. I’ve done a variety of jobs, including working in factories and other physically demanding roles. I applied to the army four times and to the Rangers once, but now I’m over the age limit.

I am 32 years old now, while the army only recruits up to 23 years and the Rangers up to 25 years.

In our courts, there is no justice. They know the truth and the facts well but still fail to deliver fair decisions. I don’t understand why this happens.

Please pray for me that Allah makes things easier for me and brings relief to my life.

I sincerely thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for giving me your time and reading my life story.

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