My Many Moms

Technically I was born to one woman but she had two sisters, a plethora of close cousins, and her mom all helping to raise me. A few years into my life I gained a step-mom too. Throughout my childhood, these women helped me learn and grow but that wasn't enough. As I became a legal adult there was a lot of learning left to do and I found several mother figures who helped me take the last leaps I needed to fully become me.

I think I'll start with the last two women because I had a dream about one last night. I met her when I was pregnant with my first child. I'd recently moved to the other side of the country (moved back actually) and becoming a mother was both shocking and exciting to me.

She was a spiritual teacher, a grandmother, and really helped me out when I was unprepared for this move I'd made. She rented a room in her house to me and let me work for her. In addition, she helped me find a midwife and let me give birth in her house!

I didn't know how much I needed her at that time, but I'm really grateful she welcomed me into her life and helped me start out on the path of being a mother from an empowered place. She taught me how to be open and less judgemental of myself and others. She taught me to be hands-on, assertive, graceful, and to live in a state of flow.

She taught me that age is a number and perspective is everything. These things still live in me 14 years later. Because of her, I don't feel a sense of panic over the things I'm not doing while raising my children.

Because of her, I look forward to growing older and prioritize my health so I can enjoy the later years of my life, doing the things I love. She loves her work so much she doesn't see the point of retirement. I want to be that way.

The next three women on my list are my in-laws. They taught me what it means to love your children. They taught me how to be loving members of a family. They are both very affectionate and make statements of love and affirmation continuously. They showed me how healing it can be to just know that you are seen and cared for.

The next group of women on my list are the women in my immediate family as I was growing up. They taught me ingenuity, resilience, and how to carry myself. They also taught me to not take myself too seriously, but to expect and experience stability in life. I may not have always cared about these values but they've become very important to me.

The women in my family are creative, entrepreneurial, money-smart, funny, good-humored, problem-solvers, and joyful. I have naturally possessed many of these traits though some are constant struggles for me. Still, I have their examples to look up to and the memories of the ways they've gotten through tough situations stayed with me.

I started my life in a community of mothers, I enjoyed their nurturing so much it became a big part of who I am. As I grew older I began using that side of me to take care of children and that led to my eventual realization that I wanted to be a mother. Being a mom is a big part of who I am, not just because of the way I spend my time, or that I have 4 children, but also because it's something I'm passionate about.

That passion didn't come naturally though. Not the level of passion I have now anyway. That came from the experiences of the women who raised me rather I was 18 months, 18 years old, or older. I hope to show my children and other children around me how beautiful it can be to mother from a place of empowerment and I hope I continue to do that for the rest of my life.