My Grandma

Listening to my parents and grandparents story times was something I dreaded as a kid but now growing up and understanding the value of family, I yearn to hear them babble about the life they have lived. This is just a couple of memories my grandma shared with me over a phone call that I recorded. I wanted to keep the text as close to her authentic way of speaking as possible since I believe that’s as important as the stories themselves. Please enjoy as she remembers some of her most important memories.

I was born September 8, 1936 and from the gecko It was like, the way my mother put it, a fire starting. When I was born my mother could hardly speak English. When they were doing my paperwork for my name, Paula (pronounced Pah-oh-lah in German) the nurse took the pen from my mother’s hand and said “You’re in America now, she needs to have an American name” So Pauline was put on my birth certificate. So that was the way my life started.

My dad and grandfather worked on a ship and would go back and forth from Germany (their home) to America. One day my dad decided he didn’t want to go back to Germany anymore so he jumped ship and stayed in the U.S. And at that time, you could be in America for 7 years and if you didn’t have any record, you could apply for American citizenship. When I was younger my dad didn’t make a lot of money so things were very tight and we had a very small apartment but as a result my mom took me out every day. I remember this one time I was with my mother at the world fair in New Jersey and she was pregnant with my sister. And I remember sitting on a curb looking up so high to the sky and there stood a man on a horse. The man sitting on the horse jumped from this diving board to this small pool. I remember this memory so clearly.

Growing up, I couldn’t speak any English since only German was spoken at home. I was a very active kid, always getting into trouble. One day, there was a knock at the door in our small apartment and there was two women there telling my mother that they were just starting a kindergarten and if they would like me to be enrolled. My mother said “Thank god” (In German) because evidently I was a pain in the ass and my sister was born so I needed to be busy and this was an answer to her prayer. As time went on and I went off to kindergarten, my mom let me go outside to play. There was a man that lived in the basement of our apartment building, he enticed me with a piece of candy, and I was molested. There was also a young man down the street that also lived in the basement of an apartment building that drew me in with candy and molested me. So that was the way my life was.

The time when New York City blacked out and you couldn’t have your lights on due to the war between US and Germany. Now when the US was at war with Japan they used camps but with the Germans, I’m not sure if they didn’t have enough camps or enough Germans, but we were allowed to live at home but we were constantly looked at. I remember once a month, the FBI would come and search through the whole apartment. My Grandfather was in the army in Germany, not that he believed in that, but if you didn’t join when they asked; you were put to death. I remember sneaking out of the house every night or every other night, going to the catholic church that was always open, and the police would walk down the aisle and pat me on the head. I felt very safe there.

When I got married and moved to Orlando in 1967, there was an actor by the name Sal Mineo that was performing in a play that we saw. After the show we asked to see him and he invited us back stage. He had been on the screen but he was just like a regular guy. It turned out that Grandpa and his Father had a grocery store in the same neighborhood that Sal Mineo’s Grandparents lived. He knew of them so hugging him felt very special. That was the last time I saw or heard about him till a year later he was murdered in California.

My sister, her husband, Grandpa, and I would go to The Copacabana Nightclub in New York City Once a week. There was always someone famous performing so I always had my autograph book in my purse. I walked back stage, knocked at the door, and Steve Lawrence opened the door. I said, “Could I get your autograph?” and I heard his pal in the back of the room say “Who the hell is that? What does the bitch want?”. Steve patted me on the shoulder and said, “ You stay right there and I’ll get you the autographs”. He went inside, got both of their autographs, and brought it out to me. There was so much in life that I saw and did.

When I was 17, I had a nervous breakdown and I tried to kill myself by jumping off the roof of the apartment building we lived in. The police were called and my parents had me committed to a place called kings county. I was there for a couple of weeks. When they decided to release me, both of my parents had to be there, and I remember at least 10 doctors in the room. They told my parents that the environment (a 3 bedroom apartment holding 9 people) was causing my outbursts. I also had trouble accepting how my body was changing. Growing up I was completely flat chested then at the age of 18 I started developing large breasts. As a matter of fact, when I got married the church had to get clearance from Kings County that I was ok. We got that but I remember the priest pulling me aside and telling me that he didn’t see that your grandfather and I were a good match and that we shouldn’t get married. Anyway, I did what I wanted to do, got married, and had kids. In the beginning of the marriage It was very rocky. We had good times and we had bad. Nowadays, when people get married and it doesn’t work out they just walk away. What’s sad about it is the people that walk away after deciding to have children walk about, living it up, while they make their parents raise their kids. And that’s not right. Their parents should be able to enjoy the rest of their life but they have no life since they have to raise their grandchildren. That’s the mentality that’s going on out there. To me, I think you should be required to attend parenting classes once you get married if you decide to have kids. When I got married, I got pregnant right away, and my daughter was born. She got short changed though since I wasn’t ready to be a parent. By the time your father was born, I was a completely different person and he got the best of me. My first born got short changed though and I feel very guilty about that. Since your grandfather passed she has been there by my side every step of the way and I’m so grateful for her. Without her in my life I don’t know where I would be.