My first love pasted away

Hello my name is Jennifer but people who know me calls me Jenny. When I was in the 7 th grade my best friend Dabrene moved away and went to providence middle and We would talk everyday on the phone after school. One day while talking on the phone with my best friend she was telling me about a boy she liked named Ricky. Dabrene was afraid to talk Ricky herself and asked me to call him and ask him if he liked her. I called Ricky to ask him if he liked her but he didn’t know who she was. When I talked to my friend After school and told her what Ricky said. Dabrene told me to let him Know that she would be wearing green at school and I told him what she said. The next day after school my best friend called me to find out what Ricky said so I told her that he said he like me and not her but I told her I would not talk to him because she was my best friend. Dabrene told me it was okay for me to talk to him.

Back then I was only 13 and he was 12 we never saw each other in person instead we only talked on the phone every day for years until I turned 17 and he was 16 we we finally saw each other in person for the first time and we made love and then held each other’s hand while looking into each other’s eyes. When I was 18 and he was 17 I got pregnant and on June 29 2000 I gave birth to my son Jayvon Cornell Downey. I thought we were going to be a family because we had plans to move in together and get married. However on May 19 2001 Ricky was shot ten times while he was sleeping in his car. Went was pronounced dead when he arrived at the hospital.

Really in the morning Rickys mom called me and asked if I was by myself. Then she told me to sit down and she told me her son passed away and I didn’t know what to say so I said nothing. I was heart broken hearted and so sick I couldn’t eat or sleep. That Friday 20 2001 I took Jayvon to the funeral home so we could say bye to his father. Ricky had his Funeral and was laid to rest. This was very hard for me because I had to except that Ricky was gone and was never coming back. When someone passes away it final not like if he decided not to see me anymore because as long as he’s alive he could change his mind but being that he passed away he had no choice so for many years I wonder what if or what things could have been witch was useless to do so in order to heal and move on with my life I had to except that he was never coming back.

I focused on being the best mom to my son that I knew how to be. My son is now 20 and I couldn’t be more proud of my son and the man that he’s growing into. I lost Ricky who was my first love when he passed away and I never thought I would ever love that freely again but I did love the most freely I could never love anyone through raising my son.