My Daughter Can't Stand Me

Life as a mom is likened to running an institution full of every disorder possible, causing a chaotic daily experience that is filled with flare-ups of anger, happiness, laughter, and unapologetic scrutiny of everything you do and every action that you make.

This might sound a tad dramatic to some, but for those of us that have spent years in the trenches, motherhood can be a mental battle in and of itself. Now, I thought that I was through the most excruciating part after my daughter went through puberty. Oh how I was mistaken, it seems that there can be more difficult moments after they begin to become their own adult, and I was in for a rude awakening call.

A lot of moms feel as though it is imperative to put on a front about their parenting woes and/or lack thereof, however, I feel that expressing my frustrations aids other moms in understanding that they are not alone -although it may, at times, feel that they are.

I have two children and have definitely witnessed the difference in my son's behavior as a 16-year-old in comparison to my daughter's disposition as a 16-year-old, and now her complete bitchiness as a 17-year-old. Trust me, they are nothing alike in the way that they respond to me. Jay - my 16-year-old son, is a glimmer of sunshine who stands taller than me, protects me from any potential harm, and comes for hugs just because. Tia - my 17year old daughter- barely speaks to me, hugs me with two pats on the back, and somehow feels the need to attempt to berate me on a daily basis.

Don't get me wrong, there are times that she smiles with honesty, or laughs with intent, however, the level of intense disrespect has me on edge with feelings of disdain towards her new personality. Of course, I still love her, but I don't find myself liking the way that she treats me, her brother, friends, or basically anyone in our family. In my mind, I feel that she will grow out of it, but it is going to be a trial dealing with her until that point of growth happens.

Eggshells! Walking on eggshells is not something that I find the need to do for someone who lives in my house, eats my food, and accepts my gifts and/or money, yet doesn't exhibit any respect. Rather a sense of entitlement that is unwarranted and terribly far from the way that I believed I was raising her to be.

I have taken to coloring in Adult Coloring books, sipping on chamomile tea, and outright ignoring the bickering and complaining that this one does. It actually works out well for me due to the fact that the dread that is associated with dealing with a hormonal female. 

Unfortunately, I have noticed a change in our relationship. One that is pretty obvious and, in a way, frightening because I have found myself disillusioned and holding a bit of disdain and aggravation when she tried to explain things to me as if she is not to listen to me and things because she is' in her mind, grown.  

Until this phase passes, I feel that I will simply keep my distance while ensuring that I am still parenting, but parenting from a perspective of solely a mother, and not a mother and friend. Why? Because she doesn't act like a good friend, and if she weren't my daughter, I would probably exhaust every avenue that separates me from the negativity that flows from her heart. 

With all of this being said, I am still in prayer and meditation on a daily basis as I attempt to remove the negativity that comes from her. I can only hope that God answers my prayers and she turns around and becomes that young lady that we always thought she would be. 

How many of you moms out there have had this same issue with your daughter and/or son?