Motherhood

Not everyday people get to experience having a daughter, and believe me, it’s not easy. From the first moment you find out you’re pregnant to being rushed to the hospital, thinking your little one will finally be in your arms. The long, but short process of growing a child inside of your body can go one of many ways. One, everything can go perfectly and your child can grow healthy. Two, mostly everything is perfect up until the birth part. Three, nothing can go right and you loose the baby. For this story, everything seemed to be going perfectly fine, the baby was healthy and growing right. But then, one morning contractions start.

Contractions aren’t the best thing to experience in this world. It can be very painful one minute, and the next you could be perfectly fine. Sunday morning, the clock had finally turned 5 am. One contraction hits, and you think something is wrong. Five minutes later another one hits lasting minutes. Gradually the contractions become closer and more real. Trying to walk around the house to make the contractions not hurt as bad, not exactly helping. Your boyfriend finally hears you start to cry a little bit because of the pain. He asks what’s wrong and all you can say is “the baby might be coming.” Nothing was going to plan. Your grandmother had to get to work 45 or so minutes by 8, and the only working vehicle was hers. Finally leaving the house around 6, getting her there by 7, going back to the house to grab the already packed hospital bags, car seat and all the little extra things we used on a daily basis. Finally on the way to the hospital. Taking the fastest, but bumpiest road to get there, contractions getting closer and closer, more painful. You think, do I need pain meds? Am I going to make it? Will something go wrong? The fact is, you don’t know the answer to any of those questions.

Fast forward to 9:30 am, we get to the hospital, check in and get up to the room. The wonderful nurses suggest taking a shower and eating something. I hopped in hoping it would help, and it did, a little bit. As soon as I got out of the shower and sitting up in the bed, the contractions got worse. We did some exercises with one of those big red bouncing balls to see if that would help, which it did for the most part. It’s roughly 11 am now, we ordered some lunch and are waiting for it to arrive. Still doing those exercises, still in pain. Lunch arrives, we both eat. The doctor finally decides to check my dialation. I’m 4 center meters dialated. They then ask if I might want an epidural, but I refused. I thought I could go through the whole labor without.

It’s probably 2:30-3 pm now. I’m relaxing in the whirlpool tub, just trying to get these contractions to not hurt as bad. The warm water seems to help a lot. I’m in there for about two hours or so. Then we head back to the room to order some dinner. Dinner arrives 15 minutes later and we eat. Contractions are still getting worse and closer apart. The doctor checks me again, I’m only 6 center meters dilated. The ask me again if I want an epidural, but I refuse again. We go back to the yoga ball to see if that will still help. I sit at the edge of my bed on the ball, just rocking back and forth, trying to get the pain to go away. At this point contractions are seconds apart. Only probably so far is, my water still hasn’t broke. Fast forward a little bit, it’s 7 pm. The night shift is coming on and the day crew is leaving. The two new nurses come in and check on me. Taking my vitals and asking if I need any pain meds. I still refuse because I’m stubborn.

Rocking back and forth on the yoga ball still. Trying to ease the pain, still working a little bit. I look at the clock and it’s now 9 pm. My boyfriend is still up with me. Asking if I need anything and I don’t. He stands behind me and helps while I’m just rocking back and forth. He suggests that I take another shower to help with the pain, so I do. I get back to the room and try to lay down, but my body tells me no. I stand up again, walking around the room. I bounce on the ball again until 11:15 pm. I decide it’s time to get back in the whirlpool, which has helped so much. I’m in there for probably another hour and we head back to the room which is only 20 feet away, but seems like a mile.

I tell my boyfriend to get some sleep because he’s going to need it tomorrow and that I’ll be okay. He falls asleep eventually and I’m still up, rocking at the end of my bed on the big red yoga ball. I rock back and forth back and forth. The nurses come back in to check on me and get vitals at 1 am. Everything seems to be good so I continue to rock on the ball. Hours and hours pass and I’m still just rocking on the ball, not able to sleep because of the pain.

Fast forward a few more hours. It’s 6 am, a new team arrives and comes in to check on me, and see how my night was. I tell them how I was up all night and wasn’t able to sleep and they tell me that it’s normal and not to worry and asked again if I wanted the epidural. I refused. It’s now 7:30-8 am, I’m almost screaming because of how much pain I’m in. Accidentally waking up my boyfriend, he’s understanding and orders us some breakfast because I need some food for energy. I wasn’t able to eat anything because I was in too much pain. They check to see how dilated I am now, and I’m at 8 center meters.

I hop in the whirlpool again, it’s about 10 am now. I’m in there for about an hour or two and they tell me to order some lunch. So we head back to the room and order something. Still didn’t eat, I didn’t feel good. I had some water and a couple bites so I could take some Tylenol. I began getting heart burn, so I ask for some tums. It’s about noon now. I get the tums, I chew them, and seconds later I walk to the bathroom as quick as I could and I threw them up, which caused my water to finally break. It didn’t break all the way though. Only a little pit. Half an hour passes and they come back and check on me, asking if there’s anything else I need and to check my dialation again. They check and I’m finally at 9 and a half center meters dilated. We’re both thinking that our little girl is going to be here soon. Well, in one way we were wrong. An hour passes, it’s 1:30 pm now. They check me again and I’m still 9.5 center meters dilated. The doctors are telling me not to push, while my body is telling me to.

Half an hour passes and the doctor comes back to check my dialation again. She checks and I’m still 9.5, but this time I’m bleeding a little bit. They put a heart monitor on my baby’s head to make sure she is doing okay. Which she was, she was jusch a little stuck. Her shoulder was stuck on my pelvis. They finally convinced that I might need the epidural, so I get it. It’s 2:05 pm now, the doctors come back and tell me that they’re sorry they had to inform me, but I have to be rushed down to have a c section. My boyfriend and I were so scared because we were both told, the only way a c section would happen, is if something was wrong with the baby. They inform me that nothing is wrong with her, she’s just stuck and needs some help getting out. They bring me down and get me prepped. Taking the epidural out and putting a nerve blocker in. At 2:32 pm, our beautiful baby girl was born. Weighing 6 pounds, 7 ounces, and 19 1/4 inches long. She’s absolutely beautiful, we’re both crying at how amazing she is. The nurse brings her over to my boyfriend and I while they finish up down at my stomach. I’m not able to hold her, but my boyfriend is. He brings her right by my face and I can’t help by cry at her beauty. They finish sewing up my stomach and we go to the recover room for a minute while they bring the bassinet up to our room.

We finally get back to our room with our little baby and we start taking pictures and calling everyone to inform them. They’re all asking when they can come meet her and we say soon. Hours later we have some visitors, but since we’re in the time of COVID, they had to look at her outside the window, not able to hold her yet. We order some dinner and we’re just chilling with our little sleeping perfect angel. At this point I’m finally getting feeling back into my legs and I’m able to walk around, and go to the bathroom.

Even though everybody’s experiences are all different, no matter what, they’re still all worth it. All the pain, all the stretch marks, all the extra weight, all the food we have to eat. It’s all worth it. Every single bit is worth it. We create these amazing little creatures, who grow up to be big and strong and smart. And it’s all because we as mothers, sacrificed our bodies for those 9 months. For some it’s seems like for ever, but for me, it wasn’t long enough. The time just flew by, but let me tell you, seeing your baby and holding your baby and smiling at your baby and kissing your baby all for the first time, it’s so worth it. Just knowing that you did everything you could to make sure that little baby was healthy, really just makes your heart full.