Mom of Super Girls

I am the mother of four beautiful children. I was blessed enough to have three natural children and one bonus baby. My oldest daughter was born in 2014. She is smart, sweet, kind and loves being a big sister despite all of the health issues she was born with. She was born with 4 heart conditions, had breathing issues, almost completely deaf, vision problems, and sensory issues. My bonus baby was 18 months old when my Husband and I started dating. He was a single dad who had no idea how to do a littles girls hair and dressed her like a little boy. After her second birthday we started to notice that she just wasn't acting like a normal two year old. So after what felt like a million tests, doctors, and getting information from her absent biological mother, we found out that my baby girl also has special needs. She was diagnosed in 2019 with PICA, sensory integration disorder, behavioral disturbances related to drug exposure during pregnancy, fine motor delay, speech delay, and a cognative delay of about 18 months ( meaning even though she is currently four she's really about two in her ablity to understand information).

Now all that being said, I love my children dearly. I do, but being a mom is hard, and being a mom to two children who have special needs is harder. Especially since my oldest two are my special needs children and then I also have a two and one year old. They are a handful to say the least. But my girls are fighters and the younger two are stronger kids because of their sisters. When my oldest was born I was told by her NICU doctor that she was going to be a vegetable. Yet she is so kind, compassionate, caring, smart, and quizzative. She wants to know how the world works and she wants to conquor it, make it better, and enjoy what the world has to offer. She can barely hear yet she rocks to music just from the vibrations. I tell her how shes my own personal hero/rockstar, because she never gives up until she accomplishes her goal or makes a new one to acheive. She struggles with her sensory issues and gets overwhelmed. But she always manages to pull herself back together and get stuff done. Even when the world seems against her, like last year she was in kindergarden and she was being bullied because of her hearing lose and her speech delay. But she didn't want to tell me because she didn't want the kids who were bullying her to get in trouble. In fact one day I came up there to have special lunch. Which means she gets to sit at a seperate table with me and pick one classmate to join us. I didn't know it at the time but she picked one of the little girls who was bullying her to eat with us. When I found this all out. I asked her why would you pick her to eat with us instead of someone who is nice to her (since it was considered a special treat to the kids). Her response showed me that she is so much kinder and forgiving then me. She told me that just because she was mean to her didn't mean she had to be mean in return and that maybe her kindness would spread to the little girl and she would be kinder to others too. She is only six year olds and has more grace and compassion then most adults do. She amazes me because this is only a single example of her empathy. But I could go on and on about stories of her showing her intellegence, compassion, and maturity.

Now my four year old, she is a different story. She is a spit fire. She gets frustrated super easily and doesn't like to try, because she doesn't like to fail. She doesn't like when people do better then her. So when her younger siblings succeed at something before she is able to, she gets very angry and tends to lash out. But once I can get her to push past all of the frustration and try (more then once of course) she starts to get it and when she succeeds finally. OH MY GOSH, the amazing look on her face when she realizes she can do it . It just fills me with so much joy to see her joy. No matter how long it takes. She is also so caring, especially when she thinks someone is hurt. Unfortuntely she doesn't get social cues or personal space. So making friends is difficult for her because she makes other children uncomfortable, unintentionally. But it never deters her from trying to make friends. She has over the top energy and is always willing to try new things (especially food, the kid loves food). She cant hold a tune to save her life, like my sister, yet she can sing almost every lyric to her favorite songs. If you ever need a good laugh well she and my youngest daughter will have you rolling on the floor with their conversations too.

The point of this is. I am so lucky to have two little girls who have the special needs that they do, because they teach me everyday how to be a better person. Hopefully a better mom. They struggle in a world that doesn't find them normal even though they don't have severe disablilities. Yet they are kinder, more forgiving, stronger, and just more wonderful then I could have ever asked or hoped for in children. Not to mention super helpful most of the time. They are super heros and I get to be their mom. I get to watch them grow and this world whos boss. I love watching them both surpass all expectations the doctors/teachers/therapists have set and showing them all. DIFFERENT is beautiful, strong, smart, hard working, and unbreakable. Different is unstoppable. That's why even on their bad days where I'm struggling to be a nice mom and they're just struggling. I try to remember all these things and that I'm just a mom and they're my super girls, and we will be okay as long as I have my super heros.