Mental Health during COVID-19

If you are reading this you are probably a parent or adult with whom this relates to. I first want to thank you, because honestly you could have spent your time doing other things, like laundry or sex. But you chose to come here and hangout- thank you! I promise this will be informative and educational straight from the mind of a practicing mental health professional and clinical social worker.

So... you're probably wondering how your kid or the kids in your life (a niece, a nephew, a student, the indoor soccer player in the condo directly above you) are handling everything that has gone on in the last year. I can tell you that the struggle is VERY real. Their school year was snatched from under them in March of 2020 when they had to start virtual learning at the drop of a hat. I don't know about where you all live but here in Northern Virginia, it was what we would call a shit show. No one was ready- not the teachers, not the school system, not the students, and not the families. Professionally I work with families that live below the poverty line and are on Medicaid and other social services. A lot of my families were hit hard by the pandemic and lost income that they very much needed already to get by. Many of my kids relied on their school to provide breakfast and lunch and the families had enough to realistically provide dinner, and get weekend meals. I work with kids and families who have parents or guardians that work 2-3 low-paying jobs just to barely get through things and when the pandemic hit, they lost several of those jobs. The children see that stress and take that on in the form of taking care of their siblings, trying to get a job themselves (if old enough) and go to school virtually full time- it's a lot!

Data taken from the CDC shows that 1 in every 5 teens in the US have considered taking their own lives during this quarantine. If your child or teen sees your stress as the adult in their life and has their own stress of not having social contact like they use to and being on their computer for school 6+ hours a day, they are more prone to start experiencing depression and/or anxiety symptoms and possibly suicidal thoughts.

I am going to bet that by now you are sitting and thinking "oh fuck... how's my kid doing?". The first thing you will want to do is think about if there have been any behavioral changes that are not in their normal responses to various events. Some of those behavioral changes in children look like:

-Crying more

-Easily irritated

-Bedwetting or "accidents" that they have already successfully outgrown

-Difficulty with attention and concentration

-Isolation from others or activities

The behavioral changes in teens will look like:

-Crying more (basically everyone is crying more)

-Issues with focus and concentration

-Problems with their memory

-Excessive sleeping or fatigue

-Unhealthy eating habits

-Lacking the motivation to participate in things they once enjoyed

-Isolation from others

-Lower grades or possibly failing in school

-Use of substances to self-medicate from their depressive and/or anxious symptoms

Great! You have all this information and you are ready to run out and save the children in your life from this pandemic blues! Right? WRONG! Don't take that personally... I have not told you the best part- HOW to support that child in your life that may be going through any of the above things.

The first thing you can do is to talk to your child or teen regularly. See how things are going in general and get a gauge for how they are managing their new normal. Talk to them about the pandemic, how they can stay safe, and be realistic about what is happening. If you lie, exaggerate or withhold, they will only get the information from someone or somewhere else and that may come off scarier than if they heard it from you. With it coming from the trusting realm of their parent, they can ask questions honestly and share in this experience together- they can also see that you are human and dealing with this also! Hello folks- HUMAN ALERT.

Limit exposure to social media being their number 1 news source. It's not all reliable, it's not all real. No, your friend is not fucking having brunch without you... oh wait that may be real- but it's a pandemic so be proud that you stayed home and stayed safe. Be the role model for this as well. Don't you tell them to stay off of Facebook/Twitter/TikTok as your looking at the app for fucking Instagram. GET OFF OF YOUR FACESPACE PAGE MOM! STOP TWITTING AUNT CAROL! NO- YOU ARE NOT TRENDING... Use this time to bond with your kids in a way that does not involve social media and develop a more concrete relationship than maybe what you have before. Despite what those little self-absorbed hashtaggers tell you, they do want you involved in their lives. But they are teenagers and don't always know how to use their words when they aren't shorted or captioned in a meme. TALK *clap* TO *clap* THEM *clap*.

Having meaningful time spent with them. Play games with them to pass the time. Checkers, Monopoly, Cards Against Humanity are good places to start. Spend the extra hours breeding a Chess prodigy by watching The Queen's Gambit and then pretending you know EVERYTHING about chess (I promise nothing with that method and I suggest you read a book first and then maybe just do something else altogether). When the weather is warmer, go outside and play games or run around a bit! The great Elle Woods stated that exercise produces endorphins, endorphins make people happy, and happy people don't kill their husbands. They just don't. It's a fun fact.

If you notice a serious or concerning issue among your child or teen, please don't wait to seek out professional help. Talk to their pediatrician or start therapy. Telehealth has expanded the protocols that exist for how to gain access to therapy and other healthcare services, call your insurance member services to find those in-network. Many jobs have given more funding to allow for extra EAP (Employee Assistance Program) counseling sessions since the pandemic. Below are other resources that you can use should you or someone you know go into crisis or need help being linked to services. 911 should always be used if it is a medical or psychiatric emergency!

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or text LOVEIS to 22522

Veteran's Crisis Line: 1-800-273-TALK (8255); Crisis chat text 8388255

SAMHSA's National Helpline for Substance Abuse help: 1-800-662-HELP(4357)

Remember- there are resources out there, you are not alone and don't have to be with dealing with mental wellness. I look forward to connecting on my next post!

Stay connected while staying safe! :)

T. Nic Robinson, MSW, LCSW, PhD Candidate in Health Education & Promotion (Public Health)