me and my family problemse

Oh... be patient!" said Rini, my friend, patting my shoulder in support.
I just responded with a smile. That's how my best friend is, he knows all the problems I've faced all this time because I told him all my problems. Rini is a very important person to me, even too important. He really understands my feelings more than my parents, especially my mother.
During the lesson I didn't focus at all on what the teacher was explaining, especially since the current lesson was mathematics which basically really made me crazy. My thoughts were instead in places and in memories that made me even worse. I remember what my parents said. “Lun, we had to do this, sorry to hurt you.” Dad said a little pleadingly. "Yes...Luna, you have to understand this situation, Mother, please.", No...no." I shouted in response to what they said that night.
Sigh…. I exhaled sharply remembering that. "Luna, you have to be strong, there's nothing to cry about." I softly strengthened myself. Rini who was next to me could only stare blankly at me. Well... he knows quite well the problems I'm facing.
Now I'm standing in front of the door of the house, just staring at the door with doubts. Do I have to go home straight after school ends? I hesitantly turned the doorknob and immediately entered the house. Deg...that screaming sound can be heard again, isn't it!! always sounds more precise. What curse words are appropriate to come out of a teacher's mouth? And is it appropriate for a doctor to say something like that? an educated person cannot restrain his ego to simply clear things up. I used to be quite proud of being a child who had a mother who was a teacher and a father who was a doctor. But now things have changed. Many things make me sad, disappointed and even stressful. I want to run away from the reality of this life but what can I do? I'm just a weak 16 year old girl.

Inggris
Segeraku langkahkan kaki menuju kamar. Tapi aku berhenti di depan sebuah kamar yang berada tepat di sebelah kamarku. Di sana, di pintu kamar itu tergantung manis papan nama bertulis ‘bedroom Lina, jangan masuk tanpa seizinku’ lengkap dengan foto pose lucunya. Melihat hal itu aku tersenyum. “Kakak aku merindukan mu.” lirihku. “Jika kakak di sini maka Ibu dan Ayah tidak akan melakukan ini.”
Sekarang aku duduk dengan tenang di ruang keluarga rumah ini dan hanya bisa menunduk lesu sekarang. Aku yakin kedua orang tuaku sedang menatapku, entah tatapan apa itu, kasihankah?, sedihkah? atau kecewa?
“ Luna keputusan Ayah dan Ibu sudah bulat, jadi..”
“Iya Luna,jika kamu tetap tidak menyetujuinya maka itu sia-sia karena tidak ada lagi yang dapat dipertahankan dari semua ini” sambung Ayah.
Mendengar hal itu hatiku makin sakit. Benar mungkin tidak ada harapan lagi. “Baik aku menyetujuinya, maka cepatlah bercerai!” lirihku pelan dengan isakan tangis berat.
“Bukankah kalian memang selalu tidak peduli padaku? Yang kalian pedulikan selalu kak Lina. Tapi apa bisa kalian memikirlkanku sekali saja tanpa adanya kakak. Kakak sudah meninggal 1 tahun yang lalu. Itu waktu yang lama untuk kalian bisa melupakannya dan memikirkan anak kalian yang satu ini, anak yang masih hidup. Sepertinya harapan itu akan selalu sia-sia.” jelasku panjang lebar dengan air mata yang terus mengalir.
“ Luna, Ibu…”
Menerjemahkan teks dengan kamera
I immediately stepped into the room. But I stopped in front of a room that was right next to mine. There, on the door of the room hung a cute sign that read 'Lina's bedroom, don't enter without my permission' complete with a photo of her cute pose. Seeing that I smiled. "Sister, I miss you." I said softly. “If big brother was here then Mom and Dad wouldn't do this.”
Now I sit quietly in the family room of this house and can only look down listlessly now. I'm sure my parents are looking at me, I don't know what that look is, is it pity?, is it sad? or disappointed?
"Luna, Mom and Dad's decision is final, so..."
"Yes Luna, if you still don't agree then it's in vain because there's nothing left to maintain from all this," continued Dad.
Hearing this, my heart hurts even more. It's true there may be no hope anymore. "Okay, I agree, then hurry up and get a divorce!" I whispered softly with heavy sobs.
"Haven't you always cared about me? What you care about is always Sis Lina. But can you think about me for once without my brother? My brother died 1 year ago. That's a long time for you to forget about it and think about this one child of yours, the child who is still alive. It seems that hope will always be in vain.” I explained at length with tears continuing to flow.
"Luna, Mother..."

Divorce quickly! Maybe that way we can bring Sis Lina back to life." I shouted as I ran towards the room. I'm now sure that Mom and Dad were shocked by what I said earlier and also because of my scream, yes it was the first scream I made to them both since I was born. That's because I can't take it anymore. Why can't they let Sis Lina go? Does Sis Lina always have to be their favorite child?
Since childhood, Sis Lina has always been their first priority. They always paid more attention to him while I was probably just a filler for the youngest child. People always think that the youngest child is very special and always pampered. But the reality is always far from all that. I felt it myself throughout my life, I was always compared to my older brother. They always said that my brother was a good person, diligent, and there was nothing wrong with him. Meanwhile, I was always the worst, the laziest, and my actions were always wrong in their eyes. Even though his brother is gone now, they still always praise him.
I remember at that time, they defended him more, while I was always blamed. "Luna, why are you always looking for trouble?" Mother snapped at that time.
"No ma'am, Sis Lina goes first."
"Luna, you were in the wrong so quickly apologize to your sister!"
"Father... my brother was wrong."
“It's delicious, isn't it Lina, ma'am. Luna was wrong. He stole Lina's money.”
"I never stole the money because it was Luna's own money. Luna set aside pocket money to collect the money." I denied my own brother's accusations.
"Luna, don't make excuses, quickly return the money!" Tell Mom angrily.
"Yes, Luna, why are you always the trouble-making child?"

But…." I was very forced to give the money to my sister even though I was going to use the money to buy a camera. Yes... I have a hobby, namely photography. Photographing beautiful things, but all that had to be canceled again because the money I had worked so hard to save was now gone in a short time. I could only surrender, lazy to argue any further because it would be useless if I resisted more, the more intense they would scold me. That's how it was at that time and there were many other things that quite hurt me. But what can I do? I can only be patient and patient. I always ask whether in the eyes of my parents there is really nothing good about me.
This family was so harmonious that at first it was probably just father, mother and older brother. But seeing them happy, I am also happy. Before the disaster that befell my brother. A car accident that took my brother's life in an instant.
That afternoon, Sis Lina asked permission to use the car. He wants to do the group assignment given by his lecturer. My father and mother didn't allow my brother to use the car, because my brother had only gotten his driver's license less than a month ago. However, after persuasion by their older brother, they finally allowed it.

Until night fell, around nine o'clock in the evening. We got a call from who knows who but I can guess it was probably from a policeman who said that my brother had an accident and now he was rushed to the hospital. Of course the news shocked our family and we immediately went to the hospital in question. Fate really said otherwise, my brother died on the way to the hospital.
Since then, father and mother have always blamed each other. Say, just try, they don't allow Sis Lina to use the car, the accident will never happen. Day after day passed and there were always arguments after arguments that I heard. Small problems are exaggerated and the two of them never want to get rid of their selfishness for a moment to reflect on who is at fault in this matter or could this be fate, the way of life for the older brother to be at peace in heaven there. Father and mother don't realize at all that every fight they have will definitely hurt their brother. He will not die in peace because he still has a debt to settle in this world, namely reconciling the two people he loves.
The quarrel peaked when suddenly my father and mother told me that this household could no longer be maintained, in other words they would "divorce". I can only cry and don't know what to do. Who will be with me later, Dad? Mother? I don't know what's clear, now my heart is confused. Ah... it looks like it's not just messed up, but destroyed. What is clear is that I have poured out my heart, now it's up to them to decide whether to stay divorced or not.

Three months later…..

Now everything is gone, lost in the waves in front of me. It really made me feel as if I had risen from the dead. No more constant arguing. Now my heart is at peace like the gentle roar of the sea waves that look blue on this sunny day. A day as bright as my heart.
"Luna, don't go too far or you'll drown."
"Yeah, be careful or the waves will carry you to the middle."
"Don't worry, ma'am, I'm a great swimmer." I answered.
Hearing what I said, Mom and Dad could only laugh a little because their child now often brags about himself. Yup! Now we are on holiday and now we are on a beautiful beach as beautiful as the harmony of my family. There, father and mother were seen hugging each other very happily on the wide white sand as if they were the only two there. I, who was playing with the ocean waves, could only smile at that sight.
Father and mother did not divorce. They realized their mistake and didn't mean to ignore me, it's just that they were too hurt by the way life was going. Apart from that, it's not that they don't love me like I thought all the time, it's just that they are used to paying more attention to my sister because since she was little, Lina often had illnesses such as typhus, malaria, and tonsillitis that had plagued her since she was little. Meanwhile, I am always healthy. I didn't realize that before, instead I prioritized my own selfishness by asking for more attention. Even though it's your older sister who needs more attention. But strangely, with that much attention, my sister was always uncomfortable and felt too intimidated, whereas I dreamed of that.
I remember when father and mother apologized to me. Apologize for their selfishness and to unite this small family again.

Luna, I'm sorry, Mom, son."
"Father, I'm also sorry, because our sadness with the loss of your sister Lina made us ignore the fact that we didn't lose everything, but there are still angels like you that God gave us."
Hearing that, I couldn't help but cry, not expecting what they said. God forgive me, because I once felt like I didn't have parents who were good enough for me and I'm sure that with You taking Sis Lina from our side, You have a beautiful plan for my family. Now I can look up and say they are my parents. The best parents ever in this world, of course only for me, only for Luna Mawarni SandritaDrak...the sound of my bedroom door being closed by slamming it, which must have been very loud. "Aauuhh... why can't you understand me a little?" I shouted in annoyance which ended by throwing my body onto my soft bed and immediately covering my face with a pillow. I didn't realize that my eyes were leaking clear water in the corners of my eyelids, which was a sign that I couldn't hold back my sadness. Well...I cried, cried because of the misfortune of my life. Crying because no one understands me. And cry over this fate.
The morning approached, the soft rays of the sun shining through the cracks in the bedroom window succeeded in waking me up from a dream. I always hope last night was just a dream. Correct! just a dream. I got up weakly from my bed and immediately grabbed a towel to take a shower. Walk by the large mirror in the room. There I could clearly see puffy eyes that depicted a million sorrows and disappointments. Seeing the figure in the mirror I could only smile bitterly, it turned out that this was not a dream but a reality that I had to face. After seeing that I was useless, I immediately continued my unsteady steps towards the bathroom in my room.
"Done..." I muttered after straightening my tie as the final touch and ready to go to school, leaving for Panca Bakti High School. Without saying anything or greeting my parents, I immediately grabbed the motorbike keys on the hook in the living room of the house and immediately drove my motorbike very, very fast without breakfast and saying goodbye to two people who I have always respected and loved, but now they have made me very disappointed and very disappointed. disappointed.
On the way I remembered what happened last night. The darkest night of my life. I want to escape from this world and from all the realities of this life. But, still I can't. I had no other suitable destination to accommodate a hopeless child like me. Drop by drop this clear water flowed from my dim eyes until I didn't realize I was in front of the school gate.
I immediately entered and walked unsteadily towards class. After arriving, I immediately put my bag away and lay down on the bench and put my face on the table. Amazed!! That's what my friend next door might feel seeing my behavior.
"Luna, what's wrong with you? You're okay!"
" It doesn't matter." I answered briefly
"Right, are you okay?"
"Yes." I answered by showing a smiling face at my chatty friend. I'm sure if it wasn't like that, he would always ask because he was worried about me.
"Have you been crying?"
"Normal...Father, that's my mother."