Little Beggar Girl Saga

Ok so it was just another boring day of walking until I couldn't feel my feet or legs anymore. My body just moved on without me like it was on auto pilot without me or mind going along with it. I guess I was walking to slow because I heard my mother voice telling me to walk faster and to catch up with her pace. Running up just a bit to be in line with her before letting my mind returned to my happy place of being a normal child, normal family, with a normal life. Just when my daydreams were strong enough to make me smile I was snapped back to the harsh reality of my life. "Rachel, Rachel, Rachel are you listening to me. Rachel" My called my name breaking the happy dream like always. "Did you hear me? Go ask that family. Hurry before they leave." Going against every piece of me that said not to go I walked over slowly glancing back at my mother standing on the sidewalk with my Brother on her hip, waving her hand at me to go quickly. I waited until the other kids were in the car and I walked over to the mothers side of the car waved her down and waited until she stop to ask.

“Hi, I'm sorry to stop you like this. It's just that my family and I need help paying for a hotel because we have nowhere to stay and no food. So my mother and are asking for help to get it. Anything that you have will be helpful." Now I wait to see if it’s going to be an insult, help or another laugh to my face. The woman tells me to hold on gets in to the car and speak with her husband. I see them both look at me through the tinted windows on their car. At least it wasn't a laugh to my face like so many other people have done. They would share their not so nice thoughts about to me and each other. Tell me how worthless I and my family are. How mother’s not a real woman because we were out here begging for others people hard earned money. She needed to go and get a job. After a moment or two or me standing there with a dumb founded look on my face as I waited for them to decide if they felt bad enough to give us a hand out to help. The back door opened and my heart started to drop. Why couldn’t they just drive off? Not send the kid my age no, no, no, nooooo. Why?

I try to keep my head down she the girl could make out my face as the girl walked towards me.

“Here you go. My parents told me to give you this and to tell you that we will……” she stops mid-sentence. “Hey don’t I know you.” She said and then gave a small giggle. My heart dropped. Out of all people it had to be here and her family. Why? Why? Why?

“Here you go Rachel” she said with the most devilish smile on her face. She handed me the money and then turned her back so her parents could see her face. She gave out such an evil laugh. “This explains so much. So it is true you’re a little beggar. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. We’ll have soooo much to talk about.” She said backing up slowly towards her family car barely containing her giggle.

Kill me now is the only thing I could think as her family was driving away. “I’ll see you in school tomorrow Rachel”. She yelled out the window with that award winning evil smile that would fool anyone unless you know her and have been on the other end of that smile while she was committing her evil deeds to you or how she gives it after she has done something to make herself look so innocent and gentle in front of the teachers and the eat it right on up.

“How much did they give you? Come on hand it here!!” my mother rushed me so she could add up to her next dollar amount. “They looked like they had some money with that car that their driving and all of those bags from those different stores I know it have to be at least $20. Damn girl stop dragging your feet and come on. We don’t have all day!!”

“Here” I said passing her the money completely unphased by her new found excitement over what the new hidden dollar amount would be. The only thing I could think about was my future and what embarrassing hellish punishment laid in wait for me from that devilish angel that just found out my nightmare that I wake up to everyday. O how I wanted to crawl in to a hole, run until I met the ocean, or mainly just die on the spot. I had no power to fight what was going to happen. Yeah, so dying on the spot sounded so good to my ears and heart that was still beat 1000 times per minute.

“You hear me girl” my mother said while pushing my should to get my attention. “It’s $100. Didn’t I pick a good one? It going to be a good night.” She said with a wide smile. “I feel good about this shopping center I bet we could double this before we leave” Now looking at me She asked what was wrong.

“Are we done? Do you have ENOUGH? ” I said trying to hide the big crazy ball of emotions that was caught in my chest and throat. Knowing good and well she was just going to say no. Just a little longer. We need a little more. I’ll let you know when we’re done. And sure enough word for word came out of her mouth.

“Do you know that girl? Or did you just make a new friend?” she asked me while cracking a half of smile. I stopped dead in my steps looked at her directly in her face hoping that she will pick up on all of the pain and humiliation that my next sentence will be dripping.

“It’s another person that I go to school with. And no we are not friends; she’s not the Friendly type. She’s the type to make school hell for those that are not her friends. Nothing about her is nice.” I stood there waiting to see if she caught the weight of the words that just poured out of her child’s mouth. Did she picked up on the pain that was written across my face or the fact that my eyes were holding back a dam worth hot saltly tears that begged to kiss and stain my cheeks with the pains of my life for the rest of my life. But as always her words of encouragement were the same.

“Come on keep your head up. Everyone has their own battles to fight that’s no reason to be shamed don’t let it bother you. You’re Stronger than that and you will be a stronger person in life. Now come on forget about it. We need to finish up your father has to meet Mr. Ripple for a job in a few hours. So lets make as much as possible before then so we don’t have to come back out tonight.”

So much for the understanding I wished for or the sentence that I prayed for, but no it was business as usual. We continued to walk the parking lot in the dead sun for a few more hours until she felt good with the amount we raised. Then we made our way back to our little Frankenstein car with the patch work paint and smoky tail pipe that was filled with my stepfather and other 3 siblings sitting inside. He was bopping his head to his country music with that crooked grin on his face. While my brothers and sisters were dying of boredom in the backseat of the car. Their faces filled with the pain of Why? My mother put my little brother in the car and I climbed in to complete the can of sardines and we were on our way to next adventure of driving around and waiting until my parent’s needs were satisfied.

Our first stop was to Mr. Ripple office to check out my stepfather’s next part time job and I our next house to squat in until the work was done. I just hoped that whatever job her got from him this time required us to move out of the area and an IMMEDIATE change of school, but knowing my luck I best prepare myself for the days to follow.

(So if you haven’t been following my story Mr. Ripple is a person that buys and flips houses. He uses my stepfather and other people who are willing to work for bare minimum, alcohol or like us a place to stay for a while. So he is able to make as much money as possible and don’t have to pay out of pocket. My step father works for him a lot on the older houses. And we stay in the house for however long it takes him to fix it and no matter the condition of the house.)

We met up with Mr. Ripple at his office and followed him about 30min to this little red brick house in this nice little residential/ family area. The worst part about this is that this house is now in walking distance of my school. So I guess there wouldn’t be any running from my real life nightmare.

We all shuffled out of the little car like clowns my sibling were so happy to have their feet hit the ground. To run and play. To stand in front of a house that looked like it was once a warm home. Mr. Ripple walked us through the house as he talked with my step father about what needs to be done in the home, the list of material needed, and most of all the time it needs to be completed and when we need to be out of the house by. He told my father about the previous owner was an old woman and how her daughter lives down the street in a house with a lot of wind chimes on the same block so she moved in with her because she wasn’t doing well health wise and she couldn’t afford to keep up the place so they sold it to him.

After they reached an agreement Mr. Ripple left and we gather what all of our life out of the trunk of the car and made ourselves comfortable in this new house for this moment time. As if we going to live here we ran around choosing our rooms. The one I got stuck with seemed like it was supposed to be a closet, but who care it’s mines for the time. We took our last trip of the night which surprisingly didn’t take long and return to this place that’s home for the night with our jugs of water, and flashlights to bring some comfort. I made my way to my little closet room night. As I laid wrapped up in my blankets on the floor using my flashlight to slowly scan the room I came across the vent on the other side of the room. It looked like something was stuck inside. I went over to the vent to find that it didn’t have any screws I wiggled it open and found the it was a little black booked wrapped up in rags that was wedged inside. I opened it and read through it. It looked to be some kind of hand written journal with a lot of number and stuff I guess I use to belong to the old lady or something. I decided to return it on the way to school the next day in hopes it would bring me good karma and I wouldn’t have to deal with the hell I had to be stuck in for six hour. I tucked the book into my backpack and settled in for the night.

The next Morning I laid on the floor still wrapped up staring at the ceiling in the cold draft of the morning dreading the sound of the alarm on my mother clock. Soon it went off and as usual my mother got us up and shuffled use around in the cold to get ready school. As I stood waiting for my mother to finish getting my brother ready and going over the direction on how to get to school and home we were on the way. I told my brother and sister that I had a stop to make before school so they wouldn’t walk to slow. They hated school as much as I did the main reason we did cry to much about going was for the meals so they didn’t give me a fight to walk along. After a few minutes we came across the house with the wind chimes and there was an old lady sitting on the porch. I greeted her from the gate and I told her that I was there the look that came across her face as I pulled out the book was priceless and scary. It was mix of happy, sad, shocked and maybe a minor heart attack. She screamed for her daughter. My brother and sister just stared at me as I backed up slowly not sure what to make of the situation. Her daughter came out running to her mother. Her mother at the book as she inhaled from her oxygen.

“No, No, NO it can’t be? It’s not? Is this a joke? Where in the world did you get this? The daughter asked me as she thumbed through the pages.

“My stepdad is working on the place and I found it in a vent in the smallest bedroom upstairs” I said not to sure what to come.

“I knew mamma. I knew it was in his think lab” the daughter said now holding her mother’s hands.

“Now we can claim what they wrongfully took”

“What are your names?” she asked us with a huge smile plastered across her face

I introduced myself and brother and sister as we stood in a small huddle now at the bottom of their stairs.

“So where do you guys live? Is it in the area? ”

“Umm well, umm” not really sure what to say how do I tell her that we are nomads and don’t live any but stay everywhere. Before I could finish my train of thought my sister chimed in.

“We are staying in your old house but we can’t be late for school so we have to go.” She said tugging at my jacket. Completely forgetting about school I was stuck for the moment.

“That’s right we have to go like right now. I’m happy I could return the book to you have a nice day” I said coming back to reality.

“Stop back after school please” the old lady said as we rushed out of the yard to school in hopes that we didn’t miss breakfast. We got there just in time. I was my brother and sister to class and slowly walked to mines with my heart dropping deeper in my stomach with each step. I reached the door and froze for the moment. Put my hood up and my head down grab my food and made my way to the back of the class to hopefully disappear. But I wasn’t so lucky. Midway I heard her voice.

“So did you get food with the money or because it don’t look like you showered Raggedy Rachel.” She shouted from the other side of the room so everyone could hear. And slowly the snorts and laughs rolled in and the only thing I could do was pretend not to hear anything and disappear in my own skin, better yet die slowly. But no matter how bad it hurt I dare not cry I won’t give them the benefit of seeing me cry. One by one the class made their jokes, and wrote their note to pass back and forth. This was going to be hell. The teacher walked in and everyone stopped and made their way back to the desk. Every time I looked up from desk there was someone in the class looking at me with their hand under their chin and puppy eyes as if they were begging. But the end of the day I was talking to the wall clock to run on its face to get to 1:30pm. By the time the bell rang I was complete done and so filled up with held back tears that I ran to get my brother and sister so I could disappear in to the nothingness of my life.

While I was helping my sister with her homework on the porch we see the old lady and her daughter walking up to the house. The asked to see my parents, I went in woke them up from their self-induced drug coma. After a few minutes they came outside and spoke with them. The ladies were full of smile after giving my parents hugs and the rest of my siblings they came to me and the old lady hugged me so tight and just kept saying thank you. Come to find out her husband had owned a tech company and had his ideas and company. He was fighting a mental disability there was no way to prove what was stolen but apparently her wrote everything in the book and would hide it until he couldn’t remember where he hide it then he passed. So the company was taken over and his family was cut out. The little Black book was the key to everything.

The ladies thanked us again as they started to walk away. Then the mother turned around and called me to the fence and handed me a folded up piece of paper. I waited until she took a few steps to open it. It was a check for $20,000. I started to cry. My mother came over to see what was wrong and saw the check she forgot about me crying and snatched the check and started to scream and yelling thank to the ladies as they made their way slowly down the sidewalk.

This was our chance of having a home, a place that is our without checkout time, campsites, cars to sleep in, home that are old , dirty, and infested with bugs and mold. A chance at running water, power and home cooked meal. The only chance that I would have to change my life from the LITTLE BAGGER GIRL to just another kid. All of these chances to be in the hands of these uncertain, drugged adults all I could do were pray for the change that this $20,000 gifted to us from that little black book. How will I change us?