Learning from Life, Part 1. Background.

Life for me has always felt more like a burden than a blessing, my family believes in curses, we believe that the actions our ancestors chose fell upon us in our lifetime. My family believes I am cursed, destined for a life of pain, of anger, and of heartbreak. I believe all it takes to break it, is to break the cycle.

In order to properly tell these stories, you should have a bit of knowledge on my families history, particularly my mother’s side. My great great grandparents were Italian immigrants with 15 children, several who died very young. From the stories my grandmother has told me they were wonderful people, she modeled her life after how they lived theirs. My great grandparents I never had much information on, grandma never spoke much of them, her father left when she was nine, leaving my great grandmother with four children and hardly any money to their name. She never remarried and died of cancer shortly after I was born. From this began the “Family Curse”

My grandma and grandpa met when they were very young while ice skating, my grandpa stole her scarf from her. They parted ways and met again years later while my grandma was a nurse, my grandpa was in the hospital at the time. Neither of them had forgotten that day they first met. They were married for several years before some terrible things happened, I won’t be going into more details of it for the privacy of my family. My grandparents divorced and things were never really the same. My grandma eventually remarried but he had been very abusive so she left him. She tried to date again and had found a man she truly loved, after months of them being together he suffered a heart attack on her couch and passed away.

My mother had been married twice prior to my father, she had my sister from her first marriage, and my brother from when she was dating his father. Shortly after she and my father got married they found out he had a bad aortic heart valve and needed a titanium one in order to survive. He got the surgery and they almost lost him, he was legally dead for at least 10 minutes. At the time my mom found out she was pregnant things weren’t well between them but my dad stayed, they had several trials and tribulations during their marriage and it was hardly a happy one. When I was 9 they got divorced, and my father met the woman who caused more pain to us than I can even begin to explain. My mother found a wonderful man with no children, he loved us as his own. However, it did not last, I was too young to realize what had happened but I never got over the fact that she left him for who she did.

The man who came into my mother’s life lead her down a path none of us ever thought she’d take. She suffered a concussion at work which damaged the portion of her brain that makes good and bad decisions. He used this against her and turned her towards drugs for the pain she was in, once she started she was hooked. I lived with the two of them for a period of time and I can still remember the smell of the meth that was being made in our apartment. My mother still seemed like my mother, in my eyes at the time the drugs didn’t change her as a mother. As a person though she was so different. She lost her job at the State, it was 24/7 drug and alcohol field parties, and strangers in and out of our house. Then there was me, I was basically Harry Potter but in an attic. The apartment had a bedroom and a door in there, it led to an attic space that doubled as a room. I spent most of my days in there while waiting for my chance to come out and be with my mom.

The woman my father married, there’s really no way to even come close to how terrible she is/was. The way I describe her to others is, “you take all of the fairy tale step mother’s and combine them into one.” For 10 years of my life she belittled me, alienated me from all family except hers, gave me no privacy, and so many other things. My dad worked night shift and she knew we would be alone at those times so, she waited til her was gone and would use everything she could to break me down. While I was away at college my dad broke his back in a car accident causing him to be glued to his chair for six weeks. In the time he should have been healing she had lost her 3rd job in two months. She never could hold down a job long, her mouth was the cause of her getting fired every time. While she sat in her chair all day on her phone, my dad was up and about cooking and cleaning. I didn’t learn any of this til after college. Eventually, he met the love of his life and they brought my baby sister into the world. He had worked with her brother for years and they fell in love the moment they met but, my dad was still with his now ex. When they spoke, he told her how unhappy and miserable he was with his ex and she knew he needed out. She paid for him to be able to file for divorce because all of his money was gone from his ex buying herself expensive clothes. He’s now been with his girlfriend for 3 years (I might be a bit off it feels like it’s been longer because she’s so great) and are so much in love

So, I guess my story really starts from here. You have the background, what do you think? The women in my moms family have all ended up divorced and alone, my sister included. That’s our family curse, I’m determined to break it. If you are interested, step back a few years with me and I’ll tell you my stores, give you advice, and life lessons along the way. Maybe you’ll learn something, maybe you’ll pick up something I may have missed. Maybe you also believe I’m cursed. Will you join me?