Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Families.
My Journey of Loss
There is no real secret to it, and everyone deals with it in a different way. But at the end of the day, everyone has or will have to go through this heartbreaking journey. I still am. It will almost be a year since my grandma had passed away. Not a day goes by in which she doesn't cross my mind. June 22nd, two days before my birthday too. What I'm going to say is obviously not universal. Again, these tips may or may not work, it all depends on the individual. However, if I'm being honest, I wish I knew this during the first few days of feeling the true feeling of loss.
By Stefania Enriquez7 years ago in Families
Grief Is a Funny Thing
Ten things losing my mum taught me: Grief is a horrible and wonderful thing. Now I get it, ‘how can grief be wonderful?’ without watching my lovely mum slowly fade into nothingness, I wouldn’t appreciate her the way I do now. I wouldn’t grasp so tightly onto the memories we have the way I do now, I wouldn’t be able to look back, and see just how proud she was of me the way I do now. The big c word ripped my mum out of my arms, and swallowed her up into the void that is—well i'm not to sure what it is—but I tell myself it’s something lovely. It allowed me to appreciate just how amazing she was. It opened my eyes to the hard decisions she made that were for mine and my sister's benefit; it taught me the bittersweet side of love. I wouldn’t be as tuned into my body and my mind the way I am now. Currently, when I feel something, I embrace it. Now whether that be sadness, anger, hunger. I embrace the fact that I can feel, and that my body needs something in order to thrive. After losing my mum, it brought me to the realisation that not all the people around me are having a positive impact on my life, no matter how much I tell myself they are. It allowed me to address things I’ve been ignoring for such a long time. Some people just don’t care. Sure they say ‘I’m always here’, or some just don’t bother to message you at all, at least then people let you know where you stand. Life is short, and mean, and amazing all at the same time. Going through such a hard time highlights the gems that are scattered through your life. It highlights just how important they are to you, and how much more you should cherish them. It allowed me to cut ties I never knew I had, and strengthen the ones that matter Milestones just aren’t important any more. Birthdays, Christmas, even Saturdays aren’t as important anymore. Every hour blurs into another, every day of the week seems as one, every week slowly turns into a year. It all just seems to be coated in some cloudy haze that blinds you. Christmas morning isn’t the same when you don’t have the one you love the most. What’s the point in celebrating a birthday if you can’t celebrate with the person who gave you life? Saturday mornings are made for coffee dates with my loving family. Everything seems to have a gaping hole in them. Nothing is ever the same when you miss someone. Holding onto something you never believed in is totally normal. I personally never really got the thing with “mediums,” or whatever. But when you lose someone, and someone has a way of communication, it becomes a life line. Hearing someone talking on behalf of my mum, whether that be real, or a total load of bollocks, it’s a way of coping. Hearing they’re ok, they’re looking after you, and that they’re no longer in pain. It’s something you welcome with open arms. There’s no such thing as moving on. When I talk about my mum, I slip so easily into present tense, and that’s ok. My mum still is. She lives on through every member of my family. I will never get over the death of my mum, and once again, that is ok. Her life, and love, and death has forced me to see things from a different perspective. That things do get easier. Grief is something that tries to take over my life, and pull me down the slippery slope into the abyss of sadness, forcing me to believe that the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t there. Grief migrates itself into my everyday life, I can, and will be happy, and mind numbingly sad at the same time. And that is ok. Grief isn’t linear. Everyone says there’s five stages of grief, but it doesn’t follow a strict and orderly line. It changes form and shape as it pleases, and offers nothing in return. One day you're angry, the next you're sad, and then everything seems fine. But grief has a tight grip around my throat, getting tighter and tighter when I’m not noticing. Grief isn’t life threatening or fatal, but sometimes it feels like it is. I am much stronger than I ever believed. Funnily enough that’s something my mum has been telling me for 19 years. And I finally believe her. Pain is a temporary thing, but it feels like it isn’t. This month marks the tenth month without my mum. Bit by bit, day by day, things do get better. Now when I say better, I mean you learn to live with it, you learn to not let it take over your world. The light at the end of the tunnel is close, and it is real. There are moments of happiness and calm in even the worst storms. Learn to laugh and cry in the same breath. And finally, the last thing losing my mum taught me, is that the feeling of getting a text, and hoping it’s from her will never go. The hope that the next person to walk through the door will be her, will never go. The image imprinted in my brain of her walking me down the aisle, or meeting my baby, or seeing all my milestones in life will never go. But I know she is always next to me, every step of the way, cheering me on from wherever it is that she is. I know she loved me more than life itself, and I know I have to make her proud.
By Eloise Morin7 years ago in Families
Peaks and Troughs
I like to write with a pen and paper. I scribble and rearrange on the page. In university I hand wrote my essay notes, mind maps, and arrows directed ideas. I didn’t feel the need to write back then, I enjoyed it, somewhat, but wasn’t drawn to writing like I am now. I’ve heard writing described as cathartic for people who’ve gone through trauma or are going through chaos. Maybe it allows time to rationalise a hive of thoughts, at least slow them for the seconds it takes to write a sentence. I don’t mean writing in terms of literature or academia. I mean letters, words, sentences—communication. Thoughts translated... and somewhat analysed. Cathartic? Yes, cathartic.
By Kiera Moran7 years ago in Families
God Bless the NHS
On Friday, May 24th, I gave birth to my son after nearly 36 hours of labour and an emergency C-section. In total, this will have cost the NHS thousands of pounds, and two nights of 1:1 care. Did I get a bill? No. I was waved off with a smile and a hug, clutching on to my precious bundle.
By Natalie Fairypants7 years ago in Families
My Life
So here I am... Plus_size_blondie has discovered vocal and decided to give it a try. I wasn’t sure what to base my vocal stories on and then I thought... everyone after listening to my life story so far, has said I should write a book... when I found vocal I thought hmmm... this might be an easy way to tell my story so far.
By Plus_size_blondie Private7 years ago in Families
Being that Perfect Parent
We all meet those "bumps" in the road. How do you know that you're doing it right? Being a mom was not always something I wanted out of life. I loved other people's kids, they weren't permanent, and I didn't have to wipe their buts well. Then I became pregnant with my first daughter, Macy. At that time in my life I was a mess, and during my whole pregnancy I struggled deeply with depression. I had no faith in myself. I constantly told myself I couldn't do it, and at the time I really believed it. I wouldn't say I had the best childhood growing up, it wasn't awful but my mom was often cold towards me. I think maybe that's the reason I told myself that I never wanted to have kids. I considered adoption and I considered that idea that maybe I could do it. When my daughter was born I was so happy she was here, but my struggles with life and myself were still present.
By Shelby Jordan7 years ago in Families
Make Sure Kids Feel Safe in Stressful Times
The world we live in is magnificent (most of the time). As wonderful as that may be, those who can get through the day without experiencing stress on some level are rare. The intensity of it can vary greatly; however, it affects adults and as well as children. While grownups deal with all kinds of nerve-wracking situations on a daily basis, don't think the kids are carefree just because they don't have an angry boss, short deadlines, or bills to pay. Meeting new people, looking for ways to fit in, and taking tests are just some of the examples of everyday situations that cause relatively small amounts of stress for children. The problem arises when the real crisis strikes and the amount of distress becomes unbearable. Kids are those who suffer the most, so it's necessary to get clued up about the ways we can provide them with help, protection, and support.
By Leila Dorari7 years ago in Families
The Love of a Daughter
When I was younger, my mom was a single mom for a long time. My biological father was (is?) a drug addict, and I haven't seen him since I was 12. I was adopted by my sister's dad and years later I was told how my biological father never showed up to court to fight for his custodial rights. I didn't really deal with the feelings of abandonment that left me with, and as I do with all my other negative emotions, I suppressed them. I pretended like they didn't exist. It wasn't until I was pregnant with my son and working at a rehabilitation facility that it started eating at me. Why didn't he want to get better for me? I loved my baby so much I would never even think of leaving him, and yet my father chose drugs over me. He didn't try to get better for me, he didn't fight, and above all he didn't want me. I think this is part of the reason I appreciated my dad (adoptive) so much. No one is perfect, but at least he was around. At least he tried. Which was much more than I can say for my biological father. Now that I have my son I realize how hard it must've been for my mom. She had not one but three kids to take care of and she made it happen. My mom worked a lot when I was growing up, and as a child I didn't understand why she wasn't around much. Now I know that she was trying to make ends meet.
By Clarissa Wallace7 years ago in Families
How to Keep Your Kid's Hair Healthy and Strong
Grow baby grow Healthy hair is something that takes work but is a very possible achievement for any head of hair or hair type. The first step to healthy hair is to know the hair type that is being dealt with. Hair types are categorized by numbers and letters. The numbers range for 1 through 4 and the letters range A through C. Ethnicity does play a major role in the hair type that a person is born with, and the hair type is usually passed down from the parent to the child. However, not in every case does the parent and child have the same hair type, which can pose a bit of a challenge when it come to knowing how to manage and keep the child's hair healthy and vibrant.
By Jade Pulman7 years ago in Families
