KNOWING WHO YOU’RE DEALING WITH

Let’s get to know one another. First things first. Remember when a person meets you, they instantly create an image of who you are; from their perspective. Then somehow tries to make you fit into that image. The moment that you no longer fit the image that they have of you, is the introduction to your person’s interpretation you. Hopefully they’re open to sharing with you, where there views stem from and you guys can make concessions for one another and continue to foster a deeper connection.

However, this is where it all begins, take the mind of a little child. The first thing we recognize is they’re innocence , the natural tendency to be shy but willing to trust; to love, their impressionability, friendliness; playfulness and affection, their anticipation of excitement and happiness. When a child listens to what they are told, their minds are quite receptive. Like a sponge ready to trust, believe, idolize and imitate.

As children we didn’t have the option to choose our beliefs. We are typically born as innate believers. If there were no truth to that, then we would not be able to acquire knowledge. What we have learned, as a whole is our own personal reality. Instilled in us by our families or caregivers. Through them, we have learned how to conduct ourselves, what to believe and what not to believe; what is acceptable and what is not acceptable; what is good and what is bad; what is considered beautiful and ugly; what is right from wrong; as it relates to our parents experiences or the lack there of.

As our minds continued to grow, we were fed a set of beliefs, according our culture and generational traditions. During those times, the ingraining seemed desirable, useful, or pleasing. Then there were the unnatural things fed into our minds that caused us emotional grief, toxicity and injustice. At that point, another kind of mind was created, which is called the Ego. This made us resistant; resentful, clever; deceptive, defensive; self-righteous and controlling amongst others things. We also learned to grasp the attention of other people, where we initiated a desperation for attention, which could’ve made you become very competitive to feel better than or needy to somehow compensate for where you were lacking.

We know most parents do really love their children a lot; in accordance to their experiences. However they have been taught to parent their children in the same way that we train our house pets. That is... with a system of punishment and reward. When we went against the rules; we were punished. When we followed the rules; we got a reward, except in some circumstances; you received nothing. No acknowledgement nor recognition. This would continue on and on, that soon enough, we became frightened of being punished, afraid of not receiving a reward and also afraid of not being recognized or even belonging; left feeling discarded. We start emulating the adults, playing the game of the adults. Becoming something that we’re not, in order to gain the reward, avoid punishment or being rejected. That fear of being rejected, becomes the fear of not measuring up to what was expected. Thereby loosing our Innocence, our confidence, our freedom, our happiness and our natural characteristic to love.

As it turns out, all of the guidance or mis guidance that you were given, whether it were to be used as a tool, for the purpose to cope by moving forward despite disappointment; tools to thrive in life or cruelty used for a weapon to hurt, defeat or control. Perhaps you taught to...