Insanity Mom Journal

As a mother I tend to go TOO far and beyond my worries,

I exaggerate my own personal worries so that they will listen.

I love them too much at times, and yes, that is a thing.

I want them to have everything I was not able to have as a child,

I just don’t want them to be greedy and expect everything to be handed to them.

I don’t ever want them to feel pain,

But I still would like for them to be ready for future disappointments and to understand what failure is.

I never want them to lose their temper,

I would like for them not be afraid to show their emotions to their safe people.

I want them to love me more then anyone in the world,

but I also, would like for them to find the love of their life.

This is just a dent in the wants and likes I think of everyday; I just want what is best for my children.

All of us mothers go through a trillion things in a day just to make sure they stay alive and remain healthy, even if that healthy means giving them that old soda from the fridge just to have some quiet for the five minutes we might be allowed to have.

No, my children do not rule over me, no they do not boss me around; and yes, they do try.

We all lose our sanity once in awhile or maybe we already lost it and are trying to find the missing marbles that fell from that scrabbled mind of ours.

Either way we need to do whatever we feel is normal, for instance, just the other day I did my makeup too the nines even though I was still wearing my clothes from the day before; not too worry, I still change my underwear everyday; anyways, as I took my 50 pictures in my bathroom I was able to find just the one picture I did not mind, I walked out of my bathroom feeling flawless, put on my rubber boots, opened my back door, inhaled the fresh fall air, grabbed my shovel and starting picking up dog poop.

Even after the fact I felt completely dirty and like I was hitting another mental breakdown, I looked at my daughter and told her “that’s what glamorous means.”

Ladies take a step back and please realize that we are amazing, we know how to love our children even if we lost it a bit today.

We all work our ass’ off whether we are a stay at home mother, part time worker or full-time worker, anything and everything we do is for those little human beings we created.

This is all is my reminder, this is me just uplifting myself, writing too myself that I got this too, it is not just to you all but me needing to know I am doing everything for them as well.

I observe other mothers I walk by or hear in the grocery store trying to manage a child having a moment with their screaming, with this pandemic even our little ones are over it.

Do not lose faith I repeat! Do not lose faith in yourself!

It has come to that time of day that I need to clean up supper, make my kids beds, bathe them, put them to bed, than I will be able to watch my show and check on my children every 10 minutes.

Good night, until I write again in my insanity mom journal. AM