I just want want to say ‘’Hi Dad’’.

I remember this day clearly, like it was yesterday and I took this picture of my Dad. I remember seeing him go into the cement pier on his own like he wanted to go for a swim, which he hadn’t done in too many years due to his above knee leg amputation and diabetes wounds on his remaining leg. My Dad was a proud man that was never satisfied with anything that made him feel weak or less than anyone else. Since his first heart attack and leg amputation he had changed to someone I did not recognize. He was weak but he always tried hard to push himself to be able to do more, I don’t think his heart helped him at all after the second attack.

He really tried, I could see him taking his wheelchair for a spin around the curve by the house to stay fit, strong and healthy and he was always very independent despite everything but as hard as he tried his heart and body fought against him in many occasions. After his third heart attack and a terrible stroke he was just not the same, his eyes and smile drooped down as well as his head and he was now slouching his shoulders. He fought 14 long years, 3 heart attacks, 1 leg amputation, 2 open heart surgeries, 2 strokes, dialysis 3 times a week for 4 hours for a few years. He also took many medicines and it got to a point where he could not go out and at some point he just stopped trying to go anywhere.

He looked as though he was defeated and he was always at home watching the television and eating. So when we would plan on going out to a little family weekend getaway nearby like Galveston or San Antonio, we would take him and even though he had gained weight and would complain about everything we tried our best to help him have a good time. My father was not feeling too well for a few weeks now. He talked to his sisters over messenger video on the 3rd of January 2021 and that would be the last time they spoke.

He had been complaining about some pain in his back and he could no longer maintain his balance sitting down. It had been a few weeks where his pressure had been bottoming down a lot in the mornings as well. I noticed he wasn’t feeling too well anymore and he barely had any strength at all now. When he said he wanted to go to the hospital we knew something was not right, because he doesn’t like hospitals.

On January 6, 2021 at 4;30 in the morning my Dad had been in the hospital for 4 days. He had gone and come out from the hospitals in 2-3 days before during the past couple of years. It had almost become routine, I thought we would go pick him up soon. The only difference this time was we were in the middle of a pandemic and could not go see him at all during the day, much less step into the hospital which was something that we always did everyday he was in a hospital before COVID-19. I think this was the hardest thing for all of us, we had to settle for phone calls. That morning my Mother received a call from the hospital telling her that he was not doing to well and he had gone into cardiac arrest and was brought back. They told her to go to the hospital and bring someone with her.

I heard the call that morning and I though it was strange and told her that I would go with her but we needed to call my sister to come as well. I had a strange feeling but I hoped it was not that. When we got to the hospital, the night nurse told us he had passed away at 4;30 A.M. we were in shock and we stared blindly into each others eyes as my mother asked me; “did you understand what she said?!” As I nodded yes and spoke yes. She let us go see him after she asked if we wanted to and I had insisted I needed to see him. I couldn’t believe it and honestly until this day I still can’t. So, Dad if you exist somewhere in this or any other dimension or reality and can see this please know that I wasn’t ready for you to leave, none of us were but know that I love you and miss you so much! I can’t wait to see you again and also I just wanted to say “Hi Dad”.