How To Prevent Fear of Darkness at Children

Fear remains, without a doubt, one of the strongest emotions of a child, from birth. An unexpected noise, too much light, an unknown voice - and that's it, all the conditions for fear are met!

Every child comes into the world with a set of reaction skills: he shudders, becomes sad, or, on the contrary, feels pleasure. These three reactions underlie all emotions: disgust, boredom, anger, submission, exaltation, tenderness, and, of course, fear.

At the root of the fear was the fear of separating from her mother, of not being able to live if she disappeared. The child cannot live without food, warmth, tenderness, without a physical sharing of his love (touches). This fear of not losing his mother sensitizes him precisely because he is in a period of total dependence.

Although we can't believe it, the child makes a huge effort to make a representation of his mother, when he doesn't see her, and to understand little by little that the mother exists and she will return.

 Another kiss

Who doesn't remember the nights of childhood, when sometimes we trembled with fear and wanted to sleep with the light on? "Mom, I want to kiss you again! Leave the light on! " The child would do anything to delay the fateful moment when he will be left alone in the dark with his terrifying thoughts. ("If the wolf comes").

This fundamental fear encompasses the others. darkness is absolute separation, the danger that comes from where you least expect it. Through the open door, the devouring monsters enter. According to psychologist Harry Ifergan, the second father

girl, this fear of the dark can take many forms: "For the little ones aged between 18 months and 3 years, it is an archaic, primary, visceral fear… the being who terrorizes him. At this age, the child goes through a psychological stage in which he is really afraid that he will be eaten by the wolf.

In children aged 4–10, the fear of the dark is much more complex. It can be associated with a vacuum populated by strange and mysterious creatures, invisible and abstract. The common denominator of these fantasies is the child's inability to cope with all these imaginary dangers. try to remember your childhood fears, this is the only way you will be able to understand your child and help him get rid of these anxieties.

Calm down, kids!

To reassure a fearful child, you must first listen to him, let him express himself, and show him that you understand the importance of his problem. An important step is to tell them about your childhood fears. At bedtime, kiss him and make sure nothing bad happens to him. The lamp is lit, the favorite teddy bear sleeps in his arms, replacing his mother a little and the toys are also in the room.

Read her a story in which, even if it's a little girl lost in the woods, tell her "you stay with mom, here in the heat, where nothing can happen to you, mom and dad are watching over you, you'll dream beautiful, and tomorrow and the morning comes and the light comes on! Now it's bedtime, I'm leaving the door ajar, you know we're close to you. " When he has a nightmare, we, the parents, will throw the monster out the window… "No more mommy!

He ran away, you can sleep peacefully! " This gesture will reassure the child more than any logical speech. In some children, the fear of the dark persists until adolescence and even later. in the night there are worries, worries, "it makes us think", and that's how sleep disappears! Parents who know how to reassure their children strengthen their self-confidence, in their ability to overcome these anxieties little by little, thus preparing them not only to sleep alone but to face the problems of daily life.

The bad wolf

The fear of the wolf is the symbol of the unconscious existential fears that assail the child at night: the fear of not being abandoned, of dying, of not being devoured, of not suffering something bad. All these feelings, confused in the child's mind, are caused by the "evil wolf". This fear of the wolf works wonderfully associated with stories such as "Little Red Riding Hood", "The Goat with Three Goats", "The Three Little Pigs", etc.

Fear of childhood

Even if all the anxieties have the same origin - the fear of separation, guilt, destruction - they still have different manifestations depending on age.

• 0–6 months: the baby is afraid of loud noises when he falls when he loses his balance.

• 7–12 months: fear of unknown girls, new people, of strangers who could separate him from his mother, of new objects that suddenly appear in front of them. I may be afraid to take a bath at this age.

• about 2 years: the fear of darkness, of animals, of big cars, of changing the environment begins. The old fears of loud noises, of thunder, of "nervous voices" persist (advice to quarreling parents!).

• 3–6 years: the fear of darkness with his procession of ghosts, witches, wolves, and monsters, the fear of sleeping alone, of being separated from parents, the fear of illness and death predominate.

• 6–12 years: imaginary monsters are replaced by real ones: fear of accidents, fires, death, thieves, assassins. The child is impressed by everything he sees and hears around him, by the conversations of the adults, by the television.