How to cultivate an open brain in children - Read "How to make children self-motivated and active

When a child is tired and does not want to run, and says, "No one else is tired, so why are you tired", this is an instinctive response from the lower brain of the parent. Shaming and weakening the child's feelings will cause the child to lose all kinds of emotions, even empathy. A child cannot learn abilities beyond the cognitive range. If the upper brain (forehead to the back of the head) is used to accept the child's feelings and lovingly say, "It's true that you're tired, but we can train for a short time," the child will be brave enough to try in comprehensible communication.

The open brain of the second parent is more likely to shape the open brain of the child than the defensive brain of the first parent. Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson, world-renowned brain scientists, have studied more than 1,200 healthy human brains over time and concluded that the brain can integrate. Where attention is, neurons fire. The integrated brain, where neurons are linked, is the open brain. The integrative nature of brain function is the key to happiness. How to Make Your Child Conscious and Active: World-Renowned Brain Scientists Reveal How to Develop Your Child's Open Brain (Zhejiang Education Press), part of the Whole Brain Parenting series, presents a core idea: developing your child's open brain with four key traits. This book provides a practical guide to the open brain.

Some children win at the beginning, but lose at the inflection point or the end. Successful people may not be happier than the average person. Why? It's the brain that gets stuck in a defensive state: stereotypical, closed, externalizing a sense of value and neglecting inner experimentation and exploration. If you give yourself an inner guide, don't base your value system on the evaluation of others, take the initiative to try new things, make enriching life experiences your goal, and bravely embrace challenges, you can build an open brain. An open brain has long-term goals, balances emotions and behaviors, pleases itself, and correctly handles its relationships with others and society, thus making life happy and meaningful and leading to true success. Even in adversity, the open brain helps us realize who we are and who we will become, and that we are capable of overcoming disappointment and frustration, so that we can consciously choose to live a connected and meaningful life and achieve full and abundant happiness.

The ultimate goal of education is to develop happy people. The open brain is a key trait that helps children achieve the power of happiness. How do you develop your child's open brain to have four key traits?

The power of balance, the ability to balance emotions, regulate behavior and brain states. The sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems in the brain, similar to the gas pedal and brake, coordinate one's emotions. The younger you are, the less coordinated you are. Focusing emotions with the trichromatic zone, the green zone allows the child to be calm and have control over the body and decisions. If the child is angry, he or she enters the chaotic and frantic red zone or the stereotypical closed blue zone. It is not up to the child to choose which zone to enter. Based on the neuroplastic nature of the pre-25 years, parents can help the child return to and expand the green zone. When the body is sick, use medicine, and when the child is emotionally disturbed, soothe the emotionally integrated brain instead of yelling at the child. This is in line with Adler's view that "criminals are often neurologically disconnected due to childhood violence". Brown, a psychiatrist, also found that many murderers suffered violence in their childhood. The development of balance requires the integration of balance. This means accepting individual differences, not belittling children's feelings, not interfering too much, not blaming or judging, and building differentiated connections with children.

Resilience, the ability to improvise, to be strong and awake, and to overcome challenges. This book argues that behavior is communication. Instead of just trying to eliminate problematic behaviors, we should engage our "content ears" and "relationship ears" to listen to what our children are communicating and then develop the appropriate competencies. Get to the root of the problem so that you can "treat the problem". Don't control; focus on guidance. When your child is capable but unwilling to step out of his or her comfort zone, give him or her a push. When your child is really not capable, give him or her a hand. To enhance resilience, help your child build a strong attachment, which is the same as providing a safe base for your child, and your child will have the courage and confidence to try knowing that even if he or she fails to explore, he or she can return to the base. Another approach is to develop a seventh sense. When my ten-year-old daughter was anxious, this is what she thought: "I haven't taken a dance class in so long, I won't be able to squeeze my legs as soon as I start class, will I? My legs will hurt. However, I can practice at home for a short time first, and then it won't hurt as much in class. Even if it hurts, I can endure it, didn't I endure it all before? I'm so resourceful." This process of "insight-empathy-integration" is the seventh sense. My daughter used her seventh sense to change her perception of the situation, to better control her emotions and behavior, and to make better decisions.

Insight, looking inward, understanding herself, and using the knowledge gained to make informed decisions. Harnessing emotions is the foundation for developing insight. Insight into oneself involves both perceiving emotions and paying attention to the process by which they are formed. Teach children to see themselves by telling them that they are players in the middle of a game when emotions flare up and they lose insight by focusing only on the game. Switching to a spectator's point of view and looking at yourself outside of what's going on keeps the big picture in perspective. For example, when sprinting to the cafeteria and tripping over lunch, imagine yourself as a spectator: It's really annoying, but he didn't mean to trip me. You can also teach your child to "pause". When in a stressful situation, adding time and mental space to cushion the emotions, and being able to choose wisely how to respond to the situation, can prevent the emotional fire from going up into a small volcano. Emotions are elves and villains, do not suppress emotions, but express them to be beneficial to health.

Empathy, the ability to understand, care about others and take action to improve the situation when appropriate. There are five dimensions: transpersonal thinking, emotional empathy, cognitive empathy, compassionate empathy, and empathic joy. Each interaction and experience is a resource for developing empathy. Research points out that people have a tendency to be emotionally egocentric, believing that our view of the world must be consistent with others. This can cause problems with narcissism, stereotypes, intolerance, lack of patience and criticism of others' opinions. Part of growing up is gradually overcoming emotional self-centeredness. Empathy can be developed by bringing children into contact with people from different backgrounds and expanding their circle of concern. Children who have the world at heart have the self-awareness that doesn't need to be reminded, the self-discipline that doesn't get disturbed, and the internal drive that never runs out. Rich empathic language enhances empathy. Preaching like "you should ...... because ......" should be avoided, as people resent passively receiving instructions. When someone is sad, listen first, then express love. Suggestions, there is a suspicion of displaying intellectual superiority. It is better to talk about similar experiences to express sympathy, when sadness most need to empathize.

Raising an open brain is not about growing children to be what their parents want them to be, but about gaining more skills to grow into who they should be. Like the growth mindset, the open brain will not be maintained all the time and needs to be practiced over and over again. Raising an open brain is not about making a child perfect, but stronger, wiser, and improving well-being.

A child's starting point is the level of awareness of the parents. The king of educating children is that parents never give up on growth. Parents should not become a black hole that consumes their children. This book uses rigorous theories and vivid cases to teach parents to improve their cognitive level, enhance the quality of their thinking, and cultivate an open brain in their children.