Her

The feeling that’s buried deep down inside being held captive screaming echoing off the mountains trying to reach, grab hold of my attention. I see it I hear it but do I act like I care for it. My actions are going in a different direction crawling away from my words that appear to be so sincere. It’s real to me but convincing her is what I’m fighting towards. I’ve been there always have but looking at all the lost time isn’t looking to good. Her youth speaks through her and for her letting me know the growth she shouldn’t experience so soon is at its peek. Making her grow shouldn’t be in question when letting her grow is everything and more. How many times will she allow me to mess up before not looking back continuing on the journey I forced upon her. Will she rebel against me without thinking will she scream and holler to get her precious point across. Will she allow me to stop the flood that overflows her pupils before entering her dimples. Proving my mistakes are thick but not definite I’ll never quit.

(Not fully equipped I’m still rehearsing the mommy script.)

My beautiful disaster…

Why is she so upset? Her attitude strikes at you like she’s a wild animal ready to chase and choose her prey. Is the answer so clear I’m staring rite through it. Could it be because of my trials and tribulations? Has my life effected her in ways that it shouldn’t have? Why is she so upset is it a phase that created a vivid maze of deception causing the wrong acceptance. The power of her tongue is it from what she’s seen and heard? The way she views the universe is it so upside down that she thinks it’s the right side up? The beauty that lies within her spirit is appearing to be so ugly so disgusting but does she notice and if so does she care? Waisting her intelligence without worry stopping her mind from reaching its full potential. She’s dangerous in ways that should be good and when she takes the time to understand something so useful she’ll be unstoppable. Smart young lady she is, uniqueness that spreads like a disease. She’s everything and more, more than she knows but soon enough the curiosity shall surface. Knowing and understanding rite from wrong seperates the questioning of stupidity from the mind frame. Is she so numb to the point feelings are not an option or more so feeling is not an option? Frustration is she letting it consume her? Is she consuming what I’ve been through or what I put her through? If so can she forgive me? Can she let go and let God guide her? I pray she doesn’t resent me and believes me when I tell her everything is going to be alright. That I love her so much that I never intended for none of this to happen the way it did. My heart aches knowing I might be the root that planted this beautiful disaster. I need for my love to wrap around her like Saran Wrap! I need her to drown in my soul so she can feel that she’s apart of my very existence, that she’s my creation and this is a deep dedication.

As she climbs the charts I intercept stopping each dart that may leave a mark. My bark is sharp interfering her heavy thoughts. Thinking with the intent to win she’s ready to begin. Mommy loves what she was great full to invent an intense first shift glad I ain’t roll a skip. Beauty and brains I can’t complain. What a beautiful stain that came from my frame. My beautiful disaster I will never stop coming after. Her love drives me as she confines in me becoming a better me only if she knew how she saved me. Blessed to be able to express such stress my daughter swarms loving the fact she was born. My amor embrace what’s in store mommy commends everything you had to endure. Not knowing if there is a cure to regain what was pure I’m in every seat that’s harding into concrete. My daughter is the one to beat. I love my mini me!