Hectic year

This year has had too many downs, but a few ups. Between losing jobs, sickness hitting us left and right, I began to think our lives were starting to fall apart. But the good parts were finding out I was expecting our last daughter, my oldest starting kindergarten, and ending the year with everyone still being here. I am ending the year depressed, overwhelmed, and just plain tired.

Our son started kindergarten this year. Right? It’s supposed to be fun and exciting. Wrong. He went two days of school and then, BOOM! He gets Covid over the weekend. He has to miss his first full week of school. Then his sister gets it, then my husband, youngest son and then me. It was horrible. We did everything in our power to protect them but it was inevitable. Okay, next two weeks we got hit with more sickness.

Then, October hits. Lord, I was not prepared for this. October 3rd around 2 A.M. I went downstairs to rest because I could not sleep. I was having the WORST PAIN EVER!! It was only hurting in my lower right side. It was so bad I got physically sick. Flash forward, we ended up in the hospital. Turns out my pain was contractions. Who knew?! Because sure didn’t. I never gotten to experience them before. So between the contractions and high blood pressure (180/112), they would be delivering her that day. But because I had a small snack to take Tylenol with, I had to wait 6 LONG hours. So the entire time I was in so much pain. Let’s just say, she arrived at 8:17 A.M. at 5lbs 10ozs via C-section. I had also had my tubes removed. But one side had to only have a small portion taken. Too much scar tissue around it, or they would’ve taken it. It would’ve caused me to bleed out. She’s here now and healthy.

She did end up having to stay in NICU for two weeks because she was 6 weeks early. I was let out after 5 days in the hospital, but was readmitted two or three days later with a cellulitis infection from a small weird cut on my belly. I was in there for another 5 days. I missed my kids bad. I would cry when my husband left after visiting me. I wanted to go home. Once I was discharged finally, so was my daughter. But two days later, she had to be rushed to the hospital.

I will say this “LOUD AND CLEAR: RSV IS NO JOKE!” Our youngest baby was diagnosed with rsv. Her breathing was so hard and fast. She could barely breathe on her own. Feedings she would have a hard time and would spit up everything. They admitted her into the hospital. Then, two days later she had gotten so worse that they sent her to PICU. She needed more help than they could give her. I cried. My baby was so sick. I barely had any time with her and now she’s back in the hospital sick.

Here we are in December, finally getting over another sickness: stomach virus. Between all this sickness and me having my baby, my husband had lost his job. I feel so horrible and at fault. So now we are ending the year without any money to do Christmas and my son’s birthday. I am ready for a new, fresh start next year because this year freaking broke me down. I am honestly ready to just end it all because it would be better than suffering like this. I pray that we have a better year next year. It shouldn’t be this hard. We can skip my birthday though, because I am turning 3-0! I am not ready to say goodbye to my 20s, but it seems like they are trouble.

I hope everyone who made it this far has a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!