For Parents of Deaf Kids: Embrace Their Strength, Don't Erase Their Identity

You just received the news that your child is deaf. It's a whirlwind of emotions – fear, confusion, and maybe even a tinge of grief. You want what's best for your child: a world open to them, free from limitations.

Here's where things get complicated.

Doctors might push for cochlear implants, therapists might focus on spoken language development, and you, as a parent, might feel pressured to make your child "fit in" with the hearing world.

But here's the truth: Deafness isn't a disability to be cured.

It's a cultural identity, a vibrant community with its own language (Sign Language) and rich history. Deaf adults, who have walked this path, are often eager to share their experiences.

Yet sometimes their advice is met with resistance. Why? Maybe it's fear of the unknown or the belief that spoken language is the only key to success.

But here's what these well-meaning parents and professionals might be missing:

Forcing spoken language can hinder development:

Many professionals still believe the outdated adage that if a deaf child learns to sign first, they'll never learn to speak. But it's been proven that the opposite is true – having a visual language helps the deaf child understand writing, which can then be translated into speech.

Furthermore, studies show that focusing solely on spoken language can delay a Deaf child's cognitive and social development. ASL is a natural language, just like English, and allows for full expression and access to information.

Deafness isn't a deficit:

Deaf children are intelligent, capable individuals. They can excel in academics, arts, and any field they set their minds to.

Focusing on "fixing" them detracts from their strengths and resilience. Cochlear implants are often seen as a cure, but the child remains deaf during sleep, bath time, swimming, when the battery dies, and other times when they are not wearing the device. Many audiologists insist that the child must wear the implant "from waking to bedtime," which can overwhelm the child. They should have "hearing breaks." During these times without the implant, how will you communicate with your child without sign language?

Embrace the Deaf Community:

Deaf culture is rich and empowering. Exposing your child to sign language and Deaf role models gives them a sense of belonging and identity.

Attending Deaf events, participating in Deaf camps, and enrolling in a Deaf school can have a positive lifetime impact on your child and your family.

This doesn't mean cochlear implants or speech therapy are off the table; they are simply tools to use. It's about offering choices, respecting your child's preferences, and understanding that deafness is a beautiful part of who they are.

Here are some things you can do:

• Connect with Deaf adults: Seek out mentors, teachers, or families who can share their experiences. They understand the frustration of communication barriers, being left out, and the accommodations needed.
• Learn Sign Language: This opens a window into Deaf culture and allows you to communicate effectively with your child. With sign language, your child can understand about 95-100% of what's being communicated to them; with speech and lip-reading, you're lucky to get 30% clearly understood.
• Advocate for your child: Schools should offer qualified sign language interpreters and teachers of the Deaf. Accommodations and access to every part of their school life should be available.
• Offer Access everywhere: Insist doctors offices and other appointments provide an interpreter for your child (no matter how young). Turn on closed captioning on all televisions at home and ask family members to turn on theirs too. Encourage family members to learn to sign as well - they don't need to be fluent, but enough to greet the child, understand their requests, and involve them in family activiites.

For more Information:

There is a lot of resources for new parents out there, to get you started:

• American Society for Deaf Children
• State and Local Resources for Deaf Children
• Language Equality & Acquisition for Deaf Kids (LEAD-K)
• Raising and Educating a Deaf Child: A Comprehensive Guide to the Choices, Controversies, and Decisions Faced by Parents and Educators
• That Deaf Kid: The Ultimate Guide for Parents of Deaf and Hard of Hearing Children

Remember, your child has a unique path. Embrace their deafness, celebrate their differences, and empower them to thrive in their own world.

Deafness doesn’t define limits; it expands the ways we connect.