Fewer toys, more play

When I was little I almost always had everything I wanted. My father was raising two little girls as a single man. He worked hard and sometimes would go without for himself to make sure my sister and I had everything we needed. There were times money was tight and he wouldn’t eat to make sure we ate. I remember little of these earlier years of my life. I only know that my dad worked extremely hard and eventually he was able to escape that fate. We eventually would end up with more than we needed and my dad didn’t have to struggle to provide for us anymore.

I ended up sharing this fate, I was a single mother with a three-year-old after my divorce. I was unemployed and in debt. I had to skrimp and save to get to the point I am now. I am grateful for those early days because you lose the value of a dollar until it’s all you have. I was fortunate to have help along the way, not having to struggle as much as my father did. However, the same principles applied.

Eventually, I would forget these lessons, and I would focus on the idea of getting my child everything she wanted. I had this mindset that more was better. More toys, more stimulation, more events. I was trying to bombard my child with everything so she would never miss out. Why have three hot wheel cars when you can have ten? Why have one barbie when you can have all of them? I was trying to keep up with her changing interests from Frozen to Paw Patrol. Buying anything and everything that was on theme.

Obviously, this would lead me to be upset when I found that she wouldn’t play with everything, or some days she was unsatisfied with what she had. I had a realization, I had set her up for this. I had made her believe that she needed more to be happy. That she required a new toy every time we went to the store, or whenever I needed to bribe her to stop crying. It was my fault, and I had to be the one to fix it.

It was a long and arduous journey, however, I took the time to start removing all the extra toys. The toys I knew she had outgrown I donated. Some of the toys she didn’t touch, I sold. As I began to par down her toys I noticed that she was playing more. She seemed more content with fewer, fewer options and choices. Old toys she never touched since opening, she was suddenly enthralled with. She incorporated some of the toys with her other favorite toys. I kept removing those toys that she didn’t touch, even getting to the point where I asked her if she had anything she didn’t want anymore. I asked her, “can I give these toys to some children who will play with them?” And she nodded her head enthusiastically, “yes mommy, toys for the children!” She would hand me toys and say, “these are for the other kids.” I was easily able to rid our one-bedroom of so many unnecessary toys.

As time went on I would buy her a few items that would compliment the toys she had still, and she would play with them. I was thrilled. She was playing more but had less. By having less, her imagination was soaring. At times she would get bored and find ways to entertain herself, all without my intervention. I feel like maybe that was what I was worried about. Her being bored. However, children need to be bored at times in order to invent and create. Kids are so much more than people to entertain. They are little human beings that need to be lead and taught. It was my little one that taught me the most though.

She taught me to be in the moment. She taught me to create storylines and games with the most basic things. She is much happier now without being overwhelmed. Now we can consciously make decisions on what toys we will keep and the ones we will donate. At three years old she already grasps the concept of donating and helping others. That is why I believe if have fewer toys, they will play and learn more.

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