Family, Friends, and Zoom during COVID 19

Being separated from your child is the hardest thing any loving parent can go through. Words can’t begin to describe the feelings of loss, emptiness, and sadness that a parent can feel during this time. Because of COVID 19, my stepson reached out to me and his did for the first time in 5 years of separation. While COVID 19 has been a traumatic experience for everyone, I am Thankful that the recent events had allowed people to come together in a virtual world using modern communication that would not have been an option 20 years ago.

Seven years ago, my husband’s son was eight at the time. His mother was living out of her car, and he was living with her parents. My husband and I didn’t know about his living situation until he told us that he was having thoughts of suicide one day. He claimed that he was being exposed to violent conditions with his mom and the men she had in her life, including drugs. I was a teacher at the time, and I was obligated to report the entire situation. This put my husband in a position to file for full custody and recommend therapy for his son to the courts.

My husband is 100% medically retired from the Air Force due to a head injury that happened when he was in Pararescue training. Because of this injury, he has a traumatic brain injury, epilepsy, and dementia that prevents him from living a normal life, and I am his primary caretaker. He was not in a position to be requesting full custody of his son, but because of his son’s living situation, he was forced into a court battle that he wasn’t prepared to handle.

His son’s mother was collecting child support every month, although she didn’t have the child. When her monthly allotment was threatened, she made horrific claims about my husband to her family, and they came together to fight for custody. In the courtroom, my stepsons’ mother was highly intoxicated on pills and other things, yet she was financially supported by her parents, who had my stepson and wouldn’t give him up without a fight.

For almost two years, my husband and I went through horrific court battles that eventually led to a series of unfortunate events that I will write about later. We seemed to have lost everything during these court hearings, including our minds, as we fought for what we believed in, saving our son. In the end, we were not able to provide proof of the abuse and neglect. Yet, they proved that my husband has seizures, so my husband was forced to have supervised visitation as punishment for filing the case, required to pay all attorney fees, give the mother full custody, and lose most of his visitation time. Hence the five years that we were unable to see him, talk to him; or even inquire about his wellbeing. The abuser, in this case, won full custody and took away a father’s right to see his son from a disabled veteran who was injured serving our country.

In 2020, when COVID 19 happened, my husband’s son was concerned about his father’s health and decided to reach out to him. At age 15, he could use social media and reach out to his dad without his mother knowing. What a fantastic reunion this was! During the horrific court hearings, my husband and I sold everything we had and lived in a hotel room to pay attorney fees. After five years of hard work and dedication, my husband and I were able to rebuild our lives again to fulfill our promise to our son that we would come back for him one day. My husband told his son the day that he lost in court that he would never give up. He said to him that it might take a few years to rebuild his life and have a safe home for his son, but he will always come back for him.

After reaching out to us, we talked to him every day. Using Zoom, text, pictures, and videos, I shared the details of our life with him, although he lived 1500 miles away. Every moment that we can spend with our children is a real treasure that can be taken at any given notice and without cause. Children grow up so fast, so take advantage of social media, film your kids as much as you can and take pictures to compare with older ones, and you will see how fast they grow. Life is too short not to enjoy it with our loved ones!