Everything You Want to Know About Surrogacy But Are Too Afraid to Ask

Surrogacy is on the rise in the US. And chances are, you’ve heard of at least one or two celebrities using a surrogate to complete their family. You might even know someone personally who became a parent through surrogacy.

Despite hearing about surrogacy, you’re still not sure exactly what it entails. If you’re having trouble conceiving or carrying to term, could surrogacy be the solution to your fertility problems? Or perhaps you’re curious about surrogacy as a way to help someone you know grow their family — or even someone you don’t.

Use this information from Vocal to answer your questions and decide if surrogacy is part of your future.

Becoming a Surrogate

Does your heart flutter at the idea of giving another couple the gift of parenthood? Becoming a gestational surrogate isn’t something most women know much about, but it’s a profoundly rewarding experience.

What is a gestational surrogate?- A gestational surrogate or gestational carrier is a woman who carries a child she isn’t biologically related to. When you’re a gestational surrogate, you receive fertilized eggs from a couple who couldn’t otherwise become parents.

Gestational surrogacy is different from traditional surrogacy. In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate provides both the uterus and the eggs and the child is biologically related to the surrogate. Traditional surrogacy is less common and is legally restricted in some states.

Who can become a surrogate? - Most gestational surrogates are healthy women in their 20s and 30s with a history of uncomplicated pregnancies and the support of their immediate family. Each state and surrogacy agency has its own requirements for gestational carriers. You can learn more about specific requirements by reaching out to a surrogacy agency in your area.

Are gestational surrogates compensated? - Intended parents pay all medical bills related to a gestational surrogate’s implantation, pregnancy, and childbirth. Most surrogacy packages also include compensation for travel, lost wages, and miscellaneous expenses and cover the surrogate with a life insurance policy. While most surrogacy agencies pay a fee to the gestational carrier, some states restrict compensation for surrogacy.

How do I prepare for pregnancy as a surrogate? - You should absolutely treat your surrogacy as anyone would treat a pregnancy. This involves taking good care of yourself (following a healthy diet is a great idea), working with a surrogacy expert, and talking to the intended parents and bringing them along for this journey. You should also prepare for the delivery by putting together a hospital bag filled with things you’ll need and other items to keep you comfortable (joggers, gowns, pajamas, etc.). You should also look into postpartum care so that you can take care of yourself in a healthy way following the birth.

Using a Surrogate

The decision to let someone else carry your child isn’t an easy one, but for many parents-to-be, it’s the right one.

Who uses gestational surrogates? - There are a variety of reasons you might choose to use a surrogate to achieve your dream of parenthood. You may have fertility problems or health issues that affect your ability to carry a child to term, you may lack a uterus due to cancer or another health condition, or you may be a same-sex couple who can’t have a child on their own.

How do intended parents find a gestational surrogate? - Most couples seeking a surrogate go through an agency. A surrogacy agency screens gestational carriers, matches intended parents with surrogates, and helps parents-to-be navigate the legal and logistical aspects of surrogacy. In some cases, the gestational carrier may be a woman the couple knows personally. Either way, an ironclad contract is key.

What does it cost to use a gestational surrogate? - The cost of using a surrogate varies depending on your location, agency, and whether you’re using donor eggs or sperm or your own, among other factors. At a minimum, intended parents are expected to pay for the gestational carrier’s expenses and legal fees associated with the surrogacy. Most surrogates are also compensated. This can add up to almost $75,000 in total surrogacy costs. Couples interested in surrogacy should look for an agency with a transparent cost structure so they can budget accordingly.

Surrogacy isn’t an easy decision no matter which side of the equation you’re on. However, people who do choose surrogacy rarely regret their choice. Whether the unmatched joy of helping a couple achieve parenthood or the heart-swelling wonder of welcoming your long-awaited child into the world, surrogacy has much to add to your life.

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