either be a dad or join the army - not both.

please tag me if you share <3 @meliorsini

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dear men:

i know history has managed to put all the weight of the world in your shoulders, as if you had all the solutions to every problem humanity comes up with. i know they've made you feel like you have a lot to proove. like your whole existence depends on how capable you can appear to be, how much can you hold inside of you, how loud can you sound or how strong can you seem. for reasons my mind can't comprehend, one of you - or a few - one day came up with these ideas and condemned you all and the rest of us for what so far has felt an eternity. i want to tell you it's okay, you can stop. just take a look back and see how much you've missed and all the time you've wasted trying to be more than you need to be. i want to invite you to look around and think how much of the suffering others experience is somehow partly your fault and ask yourself, is it worth it?

if your answer is still yes, if for some reason you believe life is supposed to be this way - an endless power war - some, thirsty for money, fighting to have it all while others barely survive. to keep playing hide and seek with freedom, a concept that wouldn't exist if we just let it be instead of wanting it and/or taking it from others. if you think for once you have a duty to your country, authority figures, even to god - before yourself, then please, don't reproduce. if you're going to follow rules instead of your instincts. if you're going to listen to orders instead of your heart. don't be a parent, if no matter how hard and sad it makes you to think of leaving one day, you will still choose to do it for whatever reasons you tell yourself to feel better. don't lie to yourself saying you're doing it for them. don't be a father if you're not going to be a dad. because there's nothing sadder in the world than to have a holiday to celebrate dads each year and having yours far away, bothering other humans. fighting to death for an idea, a fake reality.

don't be a father if you're not going to be there to tell your child it was only a nightmare. if you're not going to hug your son, kiss his cheek and tell him you love him. if you're not going to get your daughter chocolates to ease her pain when she gets her period. if you're not going to pretend to be serious when you meet her first boyfriend. if you're not going to support her when she tells you she's actually gay and now prefers to identify as "they/them". don't be a father if you're not going to be there to make bad jokes, if you're not going to share the hilarious story about the first time you got high to then turn it into a lesson about why they shouldn't do drugs. don't be a father if you're not willing to keep up with the evolution of words, ideas and feelings, if you're not willing to evolve yourself, grow with your children. don't be a father if you're not going to break the pattern, to try to be better, to teach your child how love really feels like and why they shouldn't take less than that. don't be a father if none of this makes sense to you, if you feel offended. you are actually free to choose and be whoever you want, do whatever you want, go wherever you want to be. just don't be a father to leave a child asking itself why they weren't enough.