Educational policy

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5 million Da J, a parent-child education blogger concerned by parents, a member of the Professional Committee of early Childhood Family Education of the Chinese Family Education Association, and a specially appointed researcher of Shanghai Family Education Research Association. He is the author of a series of best-selling parenting books, "Building Children's Super brain", "the Secret of falling in Love with Reading" and "Learning Children's potential Development from early Education experts".

Over the past few years, I believe everyone has really realized that "the world is changing fast," black swans, gray rhinos and so on, one after another, there are so many uncertainties in the future, and the biggest and greatest wish of every family to educate our children is to make our children have "steady happiness."

But the "iron rice bowl" is long gone. How on earth can we educate our children to maximize their "stability"?

Evolutionary ability

Did you find that when we were in school, the older generation would tell us that the best choice was those "iron rice bowls".

Under the imperceptible influence, it still affects our own view of choosing a career, including the direction of raising children.

But over the past few years, it has become increasingly clear that there is no more "iron rice bowl". A few years ago, we did not think that the education and training industry would be wiped out overnight.

Absolute protection does not exist, and the safer the road seems to be, the more likely it is to go downhill.

And the times are changing faster and faster, and it is basically impossible to use the "security" in the eyes of our generation to protect the next generation.

No matter how prosperous the industry is, it may go back to zero overnight. yesterday, the New Oriental training broke out, and today, the New Oriental Live broadcast with goods exploded, but the training industry can be destroyed, and the live broadcast with goods may disappear.

We always need to find a new way out, find new trends, adapt to the new environment and face new challenges.

Our children need to develop the ability to evolve.

The evolution of adults is that they can embrace change and conform to the trend at every change of the times.

The evolution of children is to experience "fluctuations".

In fact, the essence of evolution is precisely to allow children to experience more "bad", which is a bit anti-cognitive. After all, every parent wants their child to be in the first place and full score, and it is best to be "forever" in the first place and full score, not even a few places behind.

But if you want to "evolve", you have to experience sudden "failure", then reorient yourself, and then catch up.

So how do we start?

Quite simply, from now on, when you encounter a child who "won't be good enough", don't just get angry and yell at your child, but realize that this is an opportunity to exercise your evolutionary ability.

Now is the time to minimize the cost of trial and error. If you don't exercise now, you may lose your job in the future.

What should really be done is to define the problem and make a plan of action.

Many people will not "define the problem", there is only one sentence back and forth-- the child's grades are not good.

The real definition problem is to stand in the same camp with the child, then to see the child's difficulty, to find it, to act with the child, and to solve it.

When you stand with your child, we don't blurt out that the child doesn't get good grades.

What we may see is that the ability to understand is poor, the progress is behind, and the writing speed is slow. These are the really constructive "definition problems".

From an early age, let children realize that "can't do / not good enough" is the norm, but as long as we want to, no matter how low the starting point is, even if we start all over again, we can slowly "get up".

In this way, children have the ability to "evolve" from an early age, and when they encounter big winds and waves in the future, they also know how to iterate and find hope from difficulties.

New long plate theory

Everyone is familiar with the short board theory, that is, the shortest board in a barrel determines how much water the barrel can hold.

This is also our childhood experience, which is not good, work hard to improve their own shortcomings.

This is the "new long board theory".

If they learn to sell goods in the way of current anchors and try their best to make up for their shortcomings, not to mention that they are so popular, they will not be able to make the transformation successful at all.

This gives me a new perspective. I don't have to stare at children to make up for their shortcomings and become a "perfect" bucket like making a standard piece.

Why not, enlarge the personality of each child, so that you can stand out.

It is said that children do not have a "long board", in fact, in the final analysis, they still "look down on" the child's long board, or just look for the "long board" in their own mind.

We can't accept that children love games. Children say they will open a restaurant in the future. I still hope that children will have a "good" job with secular standards.

Really do not look down on any personality board, the key is to learn to appreciate the board, to achieve the ultimate, deep ploughing their own.

For example, when making chili sauce, some people can go to the extreme, and they can also work from "affordable restaurants" to the largest manufacturers of chili products by sales.

Let go of the obsession with planning for the future for your child.

Don't use the things you lead (study or play), fill your child's time, and give him enough blank time to explore and find on his own.

If your child has an "out of line" request, don't rush to deny it, but listen to his voice and try to support him. Maybe it's the bud of love.

I have seen too many children overdraw their energy and potential prematurely, and "lack of stamina" immediately after they arrive in primary school.

In fact, it is our traditional "deficiency" theory. We want everything to be an "advantage" and cannot accept it.

In fact, "advantages" should only be a small part, and most of them are "growing slowly".

As long as you don't stop learning, you can always make progress, and the children who love you will run on their own.

Risk awareness

I believe we all have such a sigh about the epidemic in the past three years that we could not take it for granted that we were supposed to have ordinary days. We need to build risk awareness.

Of course, this does not mean that you have to tell your child every day that the future is very bad, which is not in line with the child's cognitive development.

The oldest of our children, that is, primary school students, is still in the stage of establishing "self-awareness", so the so-called "risk awareness" is to help children see "mountains beyond the mountains" and have a comprehensive self-evaluation.

It's smart to be at home before the age of 2; it may be nothing after kindergarten.

He was always praised in kindergarten before the age of 6, and maybe he was nothing when he was in primary school.

When I was in primary school, I took the lead all the way, and entering middle school may be nothing.

Therefore, when a child does a good job, he is sure to show the child people who are "better than him" after praise.

This is not a crackdown, but a way to broaden the horizons of children, knowing that there is a wider world outside, and that the future is not "the best in the universe" but can also be psychologically prepared.

After the child has achieved the goal, we should not just meet the grades and results, but pay more attention to the process completed by the child. Try to ask if there are any other ideas for solving the problem. Do you have any new ideas?

This is not intended to create difficulties, but to let the child have a "Plan B" mode of thin