Dreaming of you

I had a dream last night; it was quite bizarre. It was about a world that existed outside our realm. I like to call it “Parmel.” Parmel is a realm that lives inside my head. I’ve only ever seen it once. It’s a realm that has colors in nature, like the flowers that bloom in meadows, the sky is purple and navy blue. The grass is as pink as the fish in the sea. The lakes were divine and as clear as could be. Pollution did not exist in this world. oh, how great this place felt! It felt peaceful; there was no mistreatment upon anything that I could see, nor were there any anger or sadness. I felt like I could be there forever and get lost!

All of the creatures were as calm as can be! However, none of them noticed me. It was like I was invisible. I continued to walk around a bit to see if there were another person I could speak to. However, to my surprise, there was nobody but myself, nature, and a little old barn owl who sat on a tree high above; he just watched me. His big golden eyes and beautiful brown and black-feathered body watched me with every single step I took. It felt like I knew this bird somehow, but how? How could I possibly know somebody whom I only just saw? As soon as the owl noticed that I could see him, his eyes began to change color rapidly, yet oddly gorgeous. They were changing like the rainbow! How particular this bird was. Who can truly say that they’ve seen a creature so unique before?

Suddenly, at a tip of a hat, the barn owl flew closer to me on a lower tree branch. I abruptly freeze. I can no longer move; I feel like my feet are super glued to the grass. I look down and it appears that the pink grass is suddenly moving as if it’s breathing. Did this barn owl just cast a spell onto me? Or am I just distraught at the thought of this owl being so close to me now?

“Hello, little one.” the barn owl spoke. It has a deep yet calming voice. "what brings you to my land?” it says in a curious tone.

“I-I have no idea what is happening right now.” That is all I could mutter out of my voice. I feel like the wind in my lungs has been sucked out. I just want to be able to move and feel calm like I did earlier.

“I see you are skittish of the land. That we cannot do. Once you accept what is, the land will return the favor. Only then, will you live your life in peace.” the barn owl then opens its wings to fly, only to flap them twice and vanish into thin air.

“Wait! What do I do?” I yell to the owl, but it’s too late. The strange barn owl is gone and I am stuck to wonder what it meant. “Accept the land?” I think to myself. In a blink of an eye, I awake in a forceful manner as if I was falling back into my twin-sized bed.

“Wow….” I murmur to myself. What a dream that was! I get up from my bed to brush my teeth when I hear my mother yell “ Get up Linda! We are going to be late for your uncle’s funeral!” oh, right. That was today. I thought I would have more time to process this. Apparently, we don’t get everything we want in life. I and my uncle were very close; I don’t deal with death as everyone else does. Is there truly a right way to process it? I don’t have all the answers but I do have a lot of questions. Why? Why must I deal with it in the first place? Such is life, I guess. I put on a black dress, brush my hair and do as minimal makeup as possible then leave for the dreaded funeral. “Let’s just get this over with,” I think to myself as I walk out the door.

“We are gathered here today to remember the wonderful yet tragic life of Bob Rinefield.” The pastor says as he starts the funeral and his speech. Just listening to him speak about somebody who was my rock, feels unreal to me. I truely cannot believe he is gone. However, despite my grief, I cannot get that dream out of my head. “ Once you accept what is, the land will return the favor. Only then, will you live your life in peace.” That quote still lives in my head, hours after the dream has happened and ended. What on earth does this mean? I feel like I’ve met the spirit of that owl before but I cannot put my finger on it.

After the pastor’s speech, the family collectively walked up to my uncle’s casket to say their final goodbyes. I feel so horrible about his death, it made me so sad. My uncle Bob was a big part of my life growing up. He took care of me when no one else was there for me he helped me with my high school education, fed me, made sure I had clean clothes. I could never thank him enough for what he has done for me. And having him now gone has just made things worse.

I walk up to his casket next to say goodbye when I see something on his uniform. A little barn owl pin! Of course, that is what I have been looking for, a sign! It was him talking to me in my dream. I begin to cry as my mother hugs me; she is clueless as to what is going on in my head. I wish I could speak to him right now, but that is impossible unless I go back to that dream. A dream, that I wish so badly to be reality. But, I now know what he was trying to say. I need to move on from his death and be the best version of me I can be!

Long story short, do not forget those who pass on. Move on with your life in hope that they are in a better place.

Love always,

Linda Rinefield.