Divorced wronged children, do not divorce wronged himself, how should choose?

What are the short - and long-term effects of divorce on children? Domestic research on this subject is rare, but it is often arbitrary and taken for granted that children are given to economically advantaged fathers. In the United States, because many studies show that children need careful care and psychological security during their formative years, women are seen as better equipped to fill these roles. As a result, 85 per cent of divorced women receive custody of their children. But divorced women often feel angry, depressed and miserable after a divorce. At the same time, feelings of grievance and loneliness often bring them into a low emotional state, as friends and relatives of the original family hardly communicate with each other anymore. In addition, more than half of divorced women are in significantly poorer financial situations than before, so they often have to choose to move to less favourable environmental conditions. In this case, the mother's emotional instability often leads to tension between mother and child, with the mother becoming anxious, irritable, impatient, less sensitive to her children, and even taking strict discipline. On the other hand, divorced men can be emotionally depressed for a while, especially if the divorce was unintentional and they feel their children have been taken from them. Non-custodial fathers are often overly indulgent and submissive in brief encounters with their children out of compensation and other complex psychological factors. Thus, it can be seen that adults' maladjustment to divorce is the main reason why children in single-parent families are prone to deviant behaviors. Therefore, the maturity of parents' personality should be the primary consideration for children's arrangement. At least two long-term studies have shown that girls in single-parent families usually recover emotional and social stability from divorce within two years, while boys are still unable to fully adjust to their new family type after two years. In other words, the impact of parental divorce on boys seems to be stronger and more persistent than that on girls, with boys showing higher levels of anxiety about their parents' emotional distress even before the divorce. However, such findings may reflect the effects of divorce on the children of American families, forced separation from their fathers, and a sudden loss of identity among boys. That is to say, in the case of our country, where mothers are generally separated, the results are likely to show that parental divorce has a greater impact on girls than on boys. In addition, both studies used emotional distress and problem behavior as indicators of adaptation, ignoring women's delicate inner feelings. When we compare the fact that girls in divorced families have more premarital sex than girls in two-parent families, and are more insecure about their heterosexual relationships, it is clear that the effects of divorce on boys and girls are not the same and cannot be identified by a single indicator. Boys may be more in need of someone to identify with, and girls may be more in need of intimacy. It's worth noting that empirical studies have shown that both boys and girls fare better with same-sex parents than with opposite-sex parents. In terms of age, the younger the child, the more difficult it is to overcome the psychological impact of parental divorce. Children tend to feel guilty about their parents' divorce. Therefore, whether the children are with their parents or with their parents, divorced parents should pay more attention to their young children to avoid their loss of confidence in others and themselves. The EMPIRICAL STUDY ALSO HAS a significant implication: WHEN CHILDREN FROM DIVORCED FAMILIES ARE ABLE TO TALK TO EACH OTHER and COMFORT EACH OTHER, THEY are generally more ABLE TO cope positively with the new situation. In other words, compassionate understanding may be the psychological support a child needs the most. But even if divorce is inevitable for children, it is impossible to conclude in support of the conventional wisdom that unhappy marriages should be endured for the sake of children. Because it is actually adults' emotions and neglect of children after divorce that cause harm to children's development. Therefore, a family in a state of cold war or quarrel for a long time, even if it does not divorce, will also make children in a long period of anxiety and pain, which is worse than a healthy and happy single-parent family. In fact, children's troubled behaviors after their parents' divorce often appear when their parents' marriage has problems, and divorce is not the direct factor. And they need to become strong, inappropriate divorce is the best choice, at the same time they need to cultivate independent personality charm, be ready to be single for a long time, to set a good example for children.