"Disquieting Gut-Wrenching Heart"

Remember I met Tank in 1998 when he persuaded me to go to his birthday party. If you remember, we slow danced, then he kept me close all night. Well, I'm not telling you our love story yet, because it was a long, wonderful, yet a complicated one. But I will tell you how it got destroyed. Tank and I had been dating for two and a half years. We had just had a baby who was six months old, along with our oldest, who was two and a half at the time. I know you're sitting there calculating in your head. Because that's what people do, Your human enough. And if you are not calculating your type of companion. Anyways, it had been a long week, and I was tired and needed some time alone. So Tank and I decided he would get the kids for the weekend. He was good at taking care of the kids. Honestly, he was good at taking care of everything. I'm not saying he was perfect, but when it came to being a father, he was pretty close. I got home, took a hot shower, spent some quality time with the girls. Then I gave them their bath; everything was pretty normal. After performing my mommy duties. I began to pack their bags. diapers, wipes, clean clothes, jars of baby food, milk, clean bottles, and other little things they needed or wanted. after that, I called Tank to notify him that we were on our way. When I got there, his roommates were there with him; they were all just hanging out. I was comfortable with them all. I knew everyone in that house five years or more. I hugged Tank, and a kiss visited for a while, then gave the kids a hug and kiss and departed. It was free time to do me, relax and maybe hang with some friends. I took full advantage of the rest of my day and weekend. Monday didn't take long to come, but I was fine with it. I had missed my kids and was ready to kiss them all over their faces. I rolled over Monday morning, hopped up, showered, got dressed, and headed out the door. Tank lived about 10 minutes away, not far at all. I arrived knocked on the door, then walked in. The Tank must have had a long weekend because they were packed and ready to go. I greeted him, and then I walked over to them. I picked Tatiana up my youngest. She's always had these big bright pretty brown eyes. that I loved so much, but when I looked at her this time, that wasn't the case. her eyes were bloodshot red. I would not have been to concern if it wasn't as bad as it was, because she got small blood clots in her eyes often since the day I took her home. But this was bad, so bad. I asked Tank what was wrong and what happened, but he was clueless about what had happened, and I felt myself getting angry. I told him we were going to the emergency room, so we strapped the kids in the car. and then we both hopped in the car. We headed to MCG, Medical College Of Georgia. They entered into the emergency entrance, signed in, and then took a seat. after a long wait, we were called to the back where the nurse checked her and assigned us a room. we headed to the room and sat for a long while again. There's a knock at the door and its the doctor and his student. The doctors examine her and then leave the room. Come back with a theory that she must have sneezed or tried to have a bowel movement. Then they left again, these doctors did this repeatedly, and each time they came back with a different story. first, there was the coughing and sneezing too hard, then the bowel movement, after that they said she must have fallen, then it became more intense they began to accuse us of child abuse. they said someone through her up against the wall or shook her. I was so lost what these people were implying I would never hurt my babies, and never would I believe Tank would be. Soon after, they moved us to another room. We stayed there for a while. My brother had come and picked up my oldest because she was getting restless. As we sat there wondering what was coming next, a social worker walked in. She explained to me that they were removing my babies because they fear they're in danger. Her words began to fade, and so did everyone in the room. All I could see was my baby laying there happy and full of joy. Not even aware that these people just ripped out my heart, and I had died suddenly. My knees became weak, and my voice became lost, and I just starred at my baby. All I could think about was grabbing her and running until my legs disappeared from beneath me. But I knew that would make it worse. Slowly everything began to reappear, and I hear her voice again. and when I do, she asks, "where is your oldest baby" I responded quickly. I don't know she's not here. And as soon as I did, my brother walked in with my beautiful Chocolate baby girl. I picked her up. My soul left my body, and I felt so heavy. it was like my head was filling up with salty warm water starting from my chin. I told her she had to go with the lady. She pulled away and hugged my neck. I held her close and whispered in her ear. Its ok, baby, go with the lady she has your bottle. I handed the lady her bottle then I slowly handed her my firstborn. When she took her, she snatched my heart along with her. I couldn't breathe. I followed her out of the room and then down the hall. suddenly all the pain jumped out of my body. I gave out a scream, my head that was full began to overflow. And then I fell to the ground, no God, not my baby! The nurses picked my lifeless, heartless body up, and I headed back to the room where my other baby was. I knew she was next; I couldn't do this. I can't live; I can't breathe without them. The time came when they took Tatiana I had nothing left in me. What can I do? how can I make this disappear, I couldn't. The police took me and Tank into custody and questioned us for hours. they tried to convince me that he was abusive. They not only believed he was abusing the kids, but they tried to get me to say he was abusing me too. Days passed, I thought about finding them, kidnapping them, and running away. I wanted to no longer exist without them. A month had passed, and I was so lost. Our court day came, and it was so intense. because all I wanted to be my babies. I had the entire right side of the Court filled with family and friends there to support me. Before Court was over I had the judge threatening to lock CPS up if they didn't give me my kids back. After Court, I followed CPS to the location of my kids and got them back.