Could Not Find Happiness But Love Won

Many years have passed since our marriage and the children have grown up. One day a strange accident happened, which upset my past, present, and future peace - my husband lived in a city where the atmosphere was suffocating. There were many restrictions on women there, while before marriage I was used to the nurturing and free environment of a relatively big city, where I studied education, so when I got married, when my in-laws came, I was horrified by the restrictions and fell ill. My life partner understood the cause of my illness and said don’t worry, I will stay where you are happy. If you don't want to shift to the city and live there, I will sell my land and close my factory here. Even if I become a coward, I cannot see you unhappy. If your parents have kept your name faithfully, then I am no less faithful. I was a bride and became silent. How would you respond to such big things? Amir was a stranger to me. He belonged to a tribe living in the mountains but had become somewhat enlightened after his education, however, he was a total stranger to me. I did not see them before marriage. This marriage was arranged by a friend of my father with his friend's son. It was only the third week of our marriage together. Although we had become lifelong companions, we were still unfamiliar with each other. I did not know about his habits and he did not know about me. I am an educated, considerate home girl. Before the marriage, the servants always stand at the door to obey my orders, while here it was a prison up to the wall. Here you do not come out with your own will and can't beat these houses here for sightseeing. How I can think about outings when I never saw a bird in these houses? When Amir spoke heartwarming words, I started thinking with a cold heart. Can I spend the rest of my life here?

Amir was a good man and husband but he was forced to follow the old traditions due to family reasons. Now I was lost in thoughts that my husband's love became a chain for my feet. He arranged for me maids that when I get out of bed, my feet don't get dirty. They gave me a sense of belonging so much that I wanted to stay hidden in their heart, the big city, and its freedoms go to hell, but when I saw the environment, I started to panic. Especially when they would go out for a week to look at the crops in their gardens. It was just the beginning of a new life, trying to stay at home for a long time. He captivated my heart. Those were summer days. It was four months since our marriage. We were sleeping on the top floor terrace. They were talking me that I like you very much. I used to wonder how my bride would be, but Allah has given me a special reward for my whole life in your form. Iffat, if I ever fell in love with anyone, it was with my bride as soon as I lifted the veil. After hearing these things, I remembered the words of a woman from her neighborhood who came to meet my Aunt one day, but she was not at home. Then this woman told me that your husband and Saima singer had a good friendship. “Good” So, please tell me who is Saima? Today was a good opportunity, I asked the question that was in my heart. They became silent for a moment and said “No one”. Someone has said wrong to you. In fact, I used to listen to a song by a singer named Saima with my friends before marriage. You know that we men do this kind of work regularly, but now that we are married. I have not even been to this place. Come on, don't even mention this woman, otherwise, I will feel bad. I said. I promise I will never talk about it again but tell me the truth about it. My sweetheart I told you, she is a singer, he replied.

She sings very well. His mother was also a very famous singer. One day my friends took me to his singing setup. She was an awesome singer, what voice she has? I felt relaxed, when she sings, the listeners remain silent. I love music, so when I feel bored, I go to listen to music. After telling this much, Amir became silent suddenly. What happened then? I asked eagerly. Tell me! Please tell me the truth. Let me tell you the truth, so listen. This Saima fell in love with me. If a few days passed and I could not go, his messengers would come, and pass her message that she is calling. She also begged my friends to tell Amir to come at two o'clock and show him my condition. Did you like her? I like it too. To tell the truth, if she does not belong to a rich family, I would have married her. She begged a lot and promised me that if I will marry her and she will leave singing for life and they will live together for their whole life. I would like to marry her but I refused because I was forced by my family tradition that marriage could not happen. She promised that if I get married, I will always keep in touch with him. You have promised? Yes a false promise, to avoid her and not come to her for marriage. So does he have patience now? Ahah.. she was patience less, and people tell me about it, i.e. my friends say that she cries to us, and they told me that she begged many times to arrange a meeting with Amir once. So you are not sad? Some of my friends make fun of him on this, tricking him into believing that there is a place where Amir is available, but he can benefit from going there. I was very saddened to hear that she had been taken wrong places and that my friends got benefits from her. After hearing this I was sad thus my husband “said”, well, let's not talk about this anymore and close this chapter.

I said to my husband, I am not sad that before marriage you used to listen to songs, what about my pre-marriage affairs, and well what is the truth? Due to this, mutual trust and confidence between husband and wife are always established. Amir said, then why are you sad? I replied because I didn't like your hard-heartedness. If only I could find her once, I would wipe her tears. While we were talking, my sister-in-law’s child came running and said. Amir Uncle, a woman has come to meet you. She is standing outside at the door. No woman can visit a man in this city at night. If she comes, she will go to the women of the house. Amir refused to go down, but my heart has testified that she is Saima. She can come to meet Amir at that time because she dies by reaching the point of madness. Then I insisted that my husband go down and see who is there. Apparently, he got up from what I said. I also followed him. He opened the door of the sitting room. When he went out, I also started to enter the sitting room behind them. He stopped me there, said. He may be my male friend. After saying that, he followed me and locked the door from the inside. After that, he opened the door of the sitting room which opened to the corridor outside. He called the doorman. Who has come to meet me? Now I was standing next to the closed door in the corridor inside the house on the side of the sitting room and could hear the voices inside by putting my ear on the glass. I heard footsteps. Someone came into the sitting room or after a while, a woman's sobs were heard. She was crying and saying something. The conversation between both was very low, which could not be heard even if I listened with my ears. My feet were bound by the earth. I was not ready for moving away from there and fear that no one will come out from inside the house in the corridor. What was feared happened? My mother-in-law came out of her room into the corridor. When he found me standing in such a suspicious manner, she came towards me and asked. What's up Iffat? She also put her ears on the glass of the door. She heard them, her ability was faster than mine. She started to understand the words of the woman, who was saying that you had promised to keep coming to me even after marriage, then why did you keep your promise? Knowing how much your friends have used me by giving me your name. Her sobs were accompanied by the clinking of her bangles making a strange sound.

My mother-in-law understood the matter. Then she punched the glass on the door frame and spoke. Who is inside Amir, bring her outside. Open the door or I will break the door. Amir was scared by her thunderous voice. He requested to Saima, for God's sake, I join hands, you go now. Wear your burqa (hide your complete body except your face) and Hurry up, otherwise, my Mama will kill you and me. In a few seconds, the sound of someone going out of the sitting room was heard and then my husband closed the sitting room door and opened the door towards us. Who was this? Who came? Mama was fuming with anger. No one. I had a friend. Then he looked at me with desperate eyes, so I grabbed his mother's arm and said. Let's go. Come here. I took her to their room. Don't worry Mama I ask her. They do not hide anything from me. I took care of his mother with great difficulty. I took her to her room, gave her water, and then I came toward Amir. He was lying on the bed in the living room. I saw a few broken bangles scattered around and there was a small cut on his palm from which blood was oozing. Perhaps they had tried to take this madman by the wrist and pull her out of the seat when the bangle broke and injured his palm. I took out medicine and a bandage from the cupboard and bandaged the wound. He remained silent, I did not find it appropriate to ask for an immediate answer. The matter was already understood. I was silent but a few moments ago the sobs coming from the sitting room had pierced my heart. She was fighting, quarreling, complaining, all of them were in a good mood, and my ears were closed, but even through the closed eardrums, I could hear the words that were worse than tears. I had bangles on my hands and arms and I was wearing a wedding dress, which was gifted by Amir for the marriage day. My mother-in-law's anger did not cool till morning. She came to our room and said who was she? How did she come here? How did you dare to do this? Listen, Amir, if she comes here again, it will not good for you and her. Even today I controlled myself. I realized how much importance and fear Amir's mother has in this house that she could not speak in front of all the family members. She was also very quick to anger but was kind and gentle with me. I had decided to settle down now. Amir's truth which he shared just before this situation had established his trust in my heart. Was “Amir” a bad or good character before marriage? Neither of us had any control over pre-marital matters, they were a part of the past and I did not consider music to be a crime.

I forgave Amir for his past activities and avoided mentioning the incident. I neither wanted to ask him for clarifications nor did I want to add confusion to my life. When they treated me with love, why did you poison my and his life? I was not ignorant, I was educated. There was more peace in our lives now than before. Earlier, I used to think that I would be able to live my whole life in this closed environment, but after the arrival of the Saima, it became clear to me that I too will not be able to get peace without Amir. If I want to find peace, then only here, with my husband, in our own house. My heart made a final decision to stay with my hubby for the rest of my life. I don’t want to leave her, if this happens, his family will arrange his marriage with another woman. Our life went on as usual. When the children were born, they were like blossoming blossoms in the golden meadow. Lost in the love and nurturing of the children, forgetting about parents and family. Amir does not come every month in relation to work, he is getting busier and busier in his business in other cities. I don’t care about his absence because I was very happy with my children. Amir had gone further from Peshawar to buy goods when his truck met with an accident. They died. My brother-in-law came and told me this bad news. After listing I was out of my consciousness and fell down. I was taken to the hospital and for two days I did not regain consciousness. It was my life that I came out of sleep and regained consciousness. God gave me a new life again for the sake of my children. I had to bear the shock of my husband’s death, this shock is irreversible, but my God gave me a new life to fulfill another responsibility and which was my husband’s responsibility.

Just a month after Amir's death, three beautiful girls, Ayesha Gul, Fatima Gul, and Farah Gul, came with my brother-in-law “Rashid” and said Bahbi (Sister-in-Law)! I apologize to you. You were in shock. Therefore, I could not inform you of the correct situation. A few months after marrying you, brother Amir married a woman named Saima. No one was aware of this secret except me. My brother informed me about his second marriage a few months ago and took me home. Perhaps the days of his life were few, then God put it in his heart to reveal the secret to a member of his family that he had married a second time and had three daughters. I was surprised and was looking silently at his face of Rashid. Where is the mother of these girls? I mean “sister-in-law”! Actually, when the accident happened to the brother, he was driving his car and sister-in-law Saima was with him. Both left this world together. When he regained consciousness, he prayed for forgiveness for the deceased and looked at Saima's daughters who were as beautiful as their father. I did not see their mother. Of course, she will also be beautiful, then my Amir liked her, and even after death, both of them did not leave each-other. Maybe they had sworn to live and die together, that they were buried on each other's side and I... who thought all his life that Amir was only mine, he truly loves me, he doesn't look at anyone else except me. I had no grudge against girls. These were my husband's daughters while my God gave me no daughter but gifted me three beautiful sons “Talha, Jibran, and Yousaf”. Almighty Allah had arranged sisters for brothers and brothers for sisters as per his expediency. I was ignorant, but he who has knowledge and wisdom can do whatever he wants. My wish for sons came true. He used to say that I wish we had sisters too. Thus they got sisters and I got daughters. They called me mother and found mother's love in me, so I did not act miserably. I hugged them and gave them mother's love, looked for their relations, and when the time came for my daughter’s marriage, my sons sent their sisters to a new home with the dowry. Today my family is complete. Masha Allah, sons, daughters-in-law, grandchildren, daughters-in-law, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, when they all gather in my courtyard on Eid festival, the courtyard of the house sparkles. Everyone is happy as if there is no shortage in anyone's life. If you miss my sweet husband Amir Khan, who kept the illusion of my love and also of their love. Both sides were faithful, but no one had a chance to doubt anyone. If they were alive today, how happy they would have been to see their home full of flowers (all kids), but seeing this happiness might not have been in their destiny.