Birth Tattoo

I am a professional surrogate. I had just given birth on July 5th. It was my 4th pregnancy and the 6th child. I felt as though I had just accomplished some great feat. There is a reason why giving birth has been likened to running a marathon, and this particular birth experience had definitely been a test of my endurance. This was the first time that I had opted for a completely natural birth (no medications). I wanted to mark the occasion on my body.

I am constantly in awe of what my body is capable of. I have now given birth to 7 children (including 2 sets of twins) and not once have had a C-section. In the pregnancy just prior to this tattoo, I had solicited the expert help of a Doula friend to assist with my plan to have a completely natural, unmedicated birth.

I have completed a Spartan Trifecta (the three increasingly more difficult Spartan races) and I have ran a half marathon, but all of that paled in comparison to what transpired during this 8 hour labor and delivery.

On the night of July 4th, I started labor naturally with the loss of my mucus plug. My waters did not break initially as had happened in subsequent pregnancies, but my contractions started around midnight and gained strength as they always do. I was in constant contact with my Doula and when she said it was time to head to the hospital, we were ready.

When we arrived at the hospital, I thought this was going to be a relatively quick process. I knew there would be pain, but I was at least hoping for a less than 4 hour ordeal. No such luck. I was only about 2 cm dilated when I arrived at the hospital, so my Doula set to work getting me moving and doing strange exercises to help speed things along. All the while, I am getting more and more fatigued with every contraction.

I vaguely remember the transitions from bouncing on a large rubber ball, to standing hunched over the bed, to warm showers, and the ever-present touch of my wife’s hands on my back. No matter how much pain wracked my body, or how exhausted I was, I remained confident that I could and would do this.

I did not have to do this. No one but myself wanted me to do this. This was a surrogacy after all, I certainly did not have to go without medication; however, this was something I had committed to and was determined to see it through to the end. I have only one child of my own, from my very first pregnancy. My birth plan for him was to go all natural for his delivery, but like most births, it did not go as planned. After 14 hours of natural labor, my doctor had administered Pitosin which magnifies the contractions, and my body just couldn’t cut it. I certainly did not feel defeated by opting for the epidural, but I made a silent promise to myself that one day I would like to conquer a natural birth.

July 5, 2018 was that day for me. Just as I was entering hour 7, and was getting a bit frustrated that I was not progressing fast enough, my Doula encouraged me to get in the tub. I was weak but my resolve was still unshaken. As I tried to enjoy the warm water and low lighting of the bathroom, I felt a new onslaught of pain followed by the urge to push. My Doula quickly moved me back to the bed and my doctor was called in as I was ready to go. Pushing was a whole new ballgame without an epidural. I screamed and made some other visceral noises that I did not know I was capable of. I just kept thinking of all the women who have done this before me, and it gave me all of the strength I needed.

While I lay there, shaking with relief and the memory of pain slowly fading away, I felt stronger than I have ever felt. My body continues to amaze me.

I chose this tattoo because it embodies all of my birth experiences. It depicts that a mother’s heart is always connected to her baby’s heart, no matter where that baby goes once they leave her body. I have given birth to many and watch them grow and thrive without me. I gave them their start to life and brought them into this world, but no matter where they go in life, I will always have this connection to them that will forever tie me to them. The design of the tattoo was not my own. It was originally created by a Doula, which I thought made it even more apropos for my experience.

“To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world.” ~ Dr. Seuss