Before the age of 18, there are four "golden steps" for children to grow up, and every step should be steady (with age guide)

Miraculously numb and warm

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Pay attention to family education and children's growth, and share the details of parenting

There is a step in the child's psychological development, and when the problem appears, it has already lost the best opportunity to correct it.

Therefore, the following four parenting critical periods, parents must be timely control.

From crying babies to sunny teenagers

From ignorant toddlers to lively and cheerful pupils

From a baby who likes to cling to his mother to an independent big child.

Each stage of the child's growth has different characteristics, and according to the different characteristics, the child's growth needs are naturally different.

In his infancy, he needed more care from his parents.

When he was a pupil, learning became his main task.

Enter the junior high school, parents should do a good job in the rear security, smoothly through puberty.

If children have different needs at different ages, parents should give them correct upbringing in order to help their children grow up better.

Professor Li Meijin pointed out that before the age of 18, children have four growth steps. Parents must pay attention to it. If they grasp it, the child will benefit for life.

The first step

0-3 years old: emotional upbringing

0-3-year-old children, is the strongest emotional needs of the period, if there is a lack of emotion in this period, it may cause estrangement between parents and children.

But it is precisely during this period that many children's emotional upbringing is lacking.

For many parents, because of their work, their children are sent to the elderly to raise them as soon as they are born, or the elderly play the role of the main caregiver.

On the surface, there seems to be no problem, but when they pick up the child, the parents find that the child is no longer close to him!

Professor Li Meijin has stressed many times:

Before the child is 3 years old, the parents must raise the child themselves and give the child positive attention and response.

From an early age, there is a lack of parental love, children have both emotional desire and strange hatred for their parents, thinking that their parents do not love themselves, and some of this estrangement will last a lifetime.

At the same time, the old people bring up children, there will be some personality problems, or arrogant and extreme, or withdrawn and self-abased, when puberty, these characters will burst out a great destructive force.

And the children raised by their parents themselves, the heart is full of sense of security, character and mood will be relatively stable.

Therefore, for children at this stage, parents must raise their children themselves.

We should also give a positive response to the child's crying and other bad emotions, help the child establish a good sense of security, and lay the foundation for a stable mood and character.

The second step

3-6 years old: character upbringing

"character determines fate". A person's character will determine the direction of his life in the future.

Teacher Li Meijin pointed out: children's character education is more important than ability education.

Character is an acquired way of social behavior, which is related to the way you behave.

She pointed out that the age of 3-6 is a golden period for the cultivation of children's character, and parents should cultivate their children's character from five aspects.

1. Refuse to be self-willed: professor Li Meijin stressed that before the child is 6 years old, he must learn to say "no" to the child.

When children play tricks because of unreasonable demands, parents must not compromise and stick to their principles.

two。 Learn to be grateful: let children learn to have others in their hearts, respect their parents, and be grateful to others.

3. Learn to control and endure: let the child have the ability of self-control, the child can be more self-discipline in the future.

4. Refuse to suppress emotions: repressed emotions can cause psychological problems, and these bad emotions can easily break out during puberty, leading to extreme rebellion.

5. Have the ability to resist setbacks: in the "round table school", both Li Meijin and Ma Weidu proposed that "parents should cultivate the habit of being 'thick-skinned' from an early age."

People have to face all kinds of difficulties and setbacks, experience all kinds of failures and meet a variety of people in their life. it is difficult to be "thin-skinned" if they want to survive in this society.

Only when the heart is strong and the skin is thick, can you eat it!

The third step

6-12 years old: capacity development

Bacon said:

"habit is really a tenacious and great force, it can dominate a person's life, therefore, one should cultivate a good habit through education from an early age."

Li Meijin pointed out that the age of 6-12 is the critical period for habit formation and the golden stage for habit development.

Once the habit is formed, it will be very stable and will have a more lasting impact on people.

At the age of 6, the child entered the first important stage of his life, and his identity changed and became a pupil.

Habits formed in primary school, such as listening habits, learning strategies, thinking habits, etc., will not change much in junior and senior high school, even in lifelong learning, along with all stages of learning.

In 2019, the mother of Yang Chenyu, the top student in the college entrance examination in Guangxi, said frankly when she shared her parenting experience:

"We have not used any special methods to educate our children, nor have we allowed them to attend tutoring classes too much.

In my opinion, the greatest help for Yang Chenyu should be to develop good habits for children from an early age and let him learn self-discipline. "

Let children develop the habit of reading, reading is a lifelong learning ability, life can not give up.

Let the child develop the habit of self-discipline so that he can take the initiative to learn, dare to challenge difficulties and know how to restrain himself in the future.

Let the child develop the habit of self-control, so that he can know how to restrain himself and not hurt the people around him because of his capriciousness.

Let children develop the habit of exercise, because a healthy body is the most basic of all behaviors.

If they want their children to have good habits, parents must first form good habits and set an example for their children.

The fourth step

12-18 years old: respect education

Teacher Li Meijin once said, "after the child is twelve years old, the words of his parents are rubbish."

At the age of 12, the child begins to enter the second critical period of life-puberty.

When a child reaches puberty, he becomes a completely different person.

Their self-awareness is getting stronger and stronger, they are eager to grow up and make their own decisions, so they begin to resist their parents' discipline, seek privacy and avoid their parents.

Teacher Li Meijin believes that when children reach puberty, parents should educate their children with respect.

First of all, we should learn to stand in the position of the children and unite with the children, so that the children can accept their parents, and it will be easier for them to educate in the future.

Giving back some choices and decisions in your life to your child can give him a lot of options, but don't make decisions for him, parents just have to control the bottom line and boundaries.

Attach great importance to the child's personal privacy, put aside the curiosity of the child, do not snoop on the child's world.

Leave a blank space for your child to think, rest and relax, instead of pressing him step by step.

Teacher Li Meijin pointed out that among the four stages of the child, the first two stages are the most important, and the first two stages are also the most involved.

Because the cultivation of character, emot