Battle of the Finances

I debated whether to write this blog or not because part of me is embarrassed, the other part of me proud. However it’s a struggle that many Americans deal with. Also the way I have dealt with this struggle is very relevant to breaking generational cycles. Part of raising our kids differently than we were taught includes teaching them about finances.

On the left side are credit cards I finally paid off and on the right are ones I still need to manage. Granted quite a bit of it was medical expenses but there was also eating out, clothes, holidays, camping, youth or school activities, parties, home improvement, family outings, and good old fashioned impulse buys!

A real big problem I have is saying no to experiences for the kids. With credit it’s so easy to swipe and not think about how it’s adding up. Yet, at the end of every month it all adds up so fast that you feel blindsided!

The last 4 months I have been using spreadsheets to track how all our money is spent with the goal of only spending within my husbands paychecks and not relying on credit or our savings.( We haven’t accomplished this quite yet, but getting closer!) I’ve relied on a couple trusted friends to talk to about my temptations. I was so proud of myself because we were barely eating out and I had started making meal plans and grocery shopping for ingredients every week.

Last month however we were so busy that I was horrified to see the “eating out” tally. That’s the weakness when we are running around with work, school, and kids activities. We are so exhausted that it’s just so easy to hit that drive through on the daily.

We go over our finances with the kids every month now and review what we spent on what, where, and who. We discuss our monthly budget goals and explain to them why we need to say no to things more often. Yesterday I took our youngest to a restaurant we were visiting once a month. She really wanted to go again! When we got there the owner said, “I haven’t seen you guys in a long time! Where have you been?” “Well to be honest I’ve been working on my finances.” I replied.

As time passes it feels like things with the credit lines are more under control and practicing the power to say “no” is liberating! We can save money to do things guilt free like getting my nails done, husband buying new shoes, and oldest daughter buying a ticket for a dance. We are practicing going to a restaurants once a month instead of several times a week. I have noticed the kids show more appreciation now when we eat out less frequently.

Because I’m human I’m still struggling as it’s a new process to retrain my brain on better financial living and saving. I think because I lived for a long time with very little, I tend to overcompensate for the kids. Then feel guilty when I do anything for myself. So my husband and I will be frugal for long periods of time and spontaneously have a sudden case of the stupids. We call it using stupid points!

Using spreadsheets, having family meetings, educating myself and the kids about finances makes me feel more in control of it rather than the finances having more control over me. That is a good feeling! So at the risk of feeling vulnerable here is my story for anyone else who might share similar experience. The ones closest to me know my secret war with credit debt. For anyone else struggling get those spreadsheets out! It’s so eye opening!!!