Authentic Christmas

Christmas trees have always been a peculiar thing to me.

The first time I learned about Christmas I was around 12. It was in the middle school classroom of a small southwestern town of China. My English teacher played a Christmas Carol for us. I don't remember exactly which one, but it was beautiful. I learned that Christmas was a very important holiday in the West and people celebrate it with Christmas trees and carols. Later, I read about Christmas trees in Anton Chekhov’s story, “Vanka”. I fell in love with that story and Chekhov right away. It has been my favorite story since then, even though I did not understand the purpose of having a Christmas tree either in or out of the story. All I know is the tree makes the story bittersweet and beautiful.

I went to the coastal city Nanjing for college. One year, I went with my roommate to a Catholic chapel on Christmas’ Eve to experience the "real" Christmas. We were not allowed to get into the Chapel because we were not church members. The outside of the chapel was lavishly decorated with colored light bulbs, a huge wreath and garlands. The bell chimed. It was soft and melodic. We heard the chorus chanting Christmas carol from the chapel. It was joyous and blissful. It felt almost authentic. I didn’t see any Christmas trees, however. Something seemed to be missing. Maybe it was not authentic enough after all.

The first Christmas I celebrated in the U.S. was with my roommate's family. She married a Caucasian guy. They met each other in Nanjing, briefly after our tour to the Chapel. We would hang out together all the time back then. I asked her boyfriend about Christmas traditions. He did not seem to be very into that topic. He talked about how one of his Chinese-American friends would throw huge Christmas feast every year.

He commented with a bit of sarcasm: "They are simply trying too hard to be American."

Walking into their home, I was surprised to see a Christmas tree in the middle of their apartment. Ornaments were hanging on the tree and wrapped presents piled underneath. Red stockings hung beside the fireplace.

"We will put candy canes for the kids in the stockings", my roommate's husband solemnly declared.

I didn't know we were supposed to buy Christmas presents. My boyfriend and I rushed into a nearby Wal-Mart and spent hours on last minute shopping. I never knew holiday shopping could be so stressful. We ended up getting a trash can with automatic lid for my roommate and her husband.

"Is that appropriate?" My boyfriend asked.

I thought about it and concluded it was. Their trash can did not work very well and their kitchen smelled bad.

It was a little awkward, but there was a tree. It was the most authentic American Christmas I ever had. The tree was plastic though. I was curious but did not ask why they wouldn’t get a real tree. Nevertheless my roommate's husband explained: “Having a real tree is out of date in America. It is not good for the environment. I want our kids to understand that."

Now is my twentieth year in the U.S., but I still feel slightly baffled when I see people towing Christmas trees. I would wonder, isn't it out of fashion to have a real tree for Christmas? Is it bad for the environment? What is the meaning of having a tree for the holiday? Are they trying to be American or just being celebratory? I never get to ask these questions, as they seem to be silly and awkward.

We never have a Christmas tree in our house. We celebrate Christmas with friends and neighbors, having pot lucks, and engaging ourselves in discussions about the stock market and real estate passionately and expertly. The dishes are all authentically Chinese, home cooked or take out from local Chinese restaurants. We all share a similar background - raised and educated in mainland China, came to the U.S. for graduate schools, got jobs at high tech companies, and ended up staying and raising families in a country we don’t usually call home. We are engineers, accountants, or bio industry lab researchers. We monotonously complain about American taxes but enjoy American middle class income and life style.

The questions about Christmas trees never get to pop up in these cheerful occasions until one year my roommate came to visit. She lives in another state and had divorced her husband years ago.

She looked around our house disapprovingly, and asked: "why don’t you have a tree?"

I told her we never had a Christmas tree.

She sighed: "You should. Your kids deserve to have an authentic American Christmas."