As Important as It Is, It Is Difficult to Maintain the Child’s Confidence

Your child's trust is a precious thing that you must deserve and that can sometimes be difficult to maintain. At a young age, this trust is natural - the little one feels protected by his parents and relies on them to protect him from any problems.

But as they grow and become more perceptive, and the world expands beyond family boundaries, parents need to work to maintain a harmonious relationship with their children.

The child's trust is strictly related to the presence of other emotions and feelings towards his parents (admiration, attachment, respect) and all these are determined by an open and positive parent-child relationship. And how can this relationship be ensured?

Through communication! Sincere, frequent, open, and multi-directional communication.

Some general tips for trusting your child:

● As a parent, always respect the communication of emotions and feelings - when the child experiences a strong affection, do not block his communication! If you ignore him, thinking, "He's just a child," or don't let him talk, stop him and start giving him thousands and thousands of tips, or shut up, being preoccupied with something else, take a step back your relationship.

Many parents complain that their son or daughter never talks about their life with them, but they have analyzed how they react when they start a discussion - often, they rush to give unsolicited advice or criticize!

● The child's trust is strictly related to his respect for you as a parent! But respect is not obtained or maintained only by authority! It is necessary, first of all, to show them, in your turn, respect for the child!

Do not interrupt him, do not make fun of him, do not ignore him, do not punish him without explaining the reasons for your action, and always - when it comes to an important decision that will affect him - ask for his opinion!

Likewise, you as parents must make sure that you never lose control of your child: do not make emotional scenes or crises do not show yourself helpless in front of him: you must be the ones who always find a solution and have control over anyone. situations!

● The child's confidence can only be assured in an emotional environment: do not be too authoritarian and harsh and be forgiving when the child has a problem.

Try to listen to him actively - without approaching a superior or sarcastic attitude - and if he did something wrong, first find out what caused that mistake! If you immediately go to the sanction, the child will perceive you as not being involved, not interested, and unable to help him!

● Do not always sanction! As mentioned, if the child makes a mistake, first see what caused it, maybe find other solutions and find out that the mistake was not malicious. Sometimes, if the child offends or hurts you with cruel words, it is difficult to refrain from punishing him!

For example, if he shouts, "You're a bad mother," it's hard not to punish him - but more importantly, try to find out what caused such intense emotion and intervene. Build the child's confidence in you and communication, convince him that you respect his needs and want to be with him.

● Never make promises that you may not keep (because you don't want to or can't). Even if he annoyed you so much or you got bored of being asked for something, don't promise to take it or do anything unless you're sure enough that it's possible!

A promise that is not kept will affect the child's confidence - you will appear in his eyes as a person who speaks wanted and unwanted, on which you can not rely on!

You'd better turn it down quickly if you don't want to or can't meet the request - and it's best to explain why! It is not so difficult to communicate with a child, he will most often understand a sincere explanation: "it is not possible, now we have no money for it, maybe next year", "we can't go there, my father and I have everyday service and if we don't go, we run out of money "etc.

● Avoid constant criticism. Yes, it is difficult for a parent to understand that he does not always "know better" and not to criticize when he sees his child making various mistakes! Criticism rarely helps, especially in building a child's confidence.

Rather, offer alternatives in the form of advice: "Know that I would have done something else," "Are you sure what you're doing will work?" or in the case of irritating behaviors towards you, explain to him how he will make you feel: "I, when you don't help me…, I feel very sad and tired", "when you scream like that, I feel very nervous and upset "etc. Rather than criticize him, you better show him what he could do differently or how he will make you feel!

● The child's confidence will never be strengthened if you use too often order: "immediately do…" or threats: "if you are not able to…, then I…"! Sometimes they are effective, but relying too heavily on authority means you have no other way to convince the child! Communication doesn't work at all or you don't want to work for it - because it's easier to ask for authority?

Try to show him what you want from him and explain to him the reasons why you ask him what you ask him. When asked for a reason, never reply: "that's why" or "because I'm your mother and that's what I say"! These are not reasons, they are childish remarks, and the child will recognize his attitude in them - when he does not know what to say!

● The child's confidence is helped if he sees that you are not perfect - as you want him to believe, but that you are human beings who can be wrong. Thus, do not always adopt an attitude such as "I know everything and I know best", giving unsolicited advice on the left or right.

Don't start bragging about "I, at your age, had I don't know what prizes"! Advice is welcome, but you better get him to ask for it, and constantly praising your little one - who might believe you, will only make him grow older and more objective. become tempted to criticize you and show you that you are not so perfect at all!