Another day without you down here with me.

Dear dad,

I miss you more then words could ever be able to form and say. Nothings the same nor will it ever be the same with out you down here with me. Every day I wake up and I feel wrong; Guilty if you would, why should someone who don't wanna be here still be here but yet someone who deserves to be here isn't anymore.The stroke is when it all started and I thought I was blessed then for getting you to the hospital on time. I saved you once and I should have never stopped trying after. You got better to only start getting bad all over again but this time the lead suspect being depression. I think i kept telling my self in a way you were invincible so everything was fine and you would be back to normal ol Tom again soon but boy was i oh so wrong. I feel responsible for your passing in a few ways and it eats me alive inside. I should have called more, I should have visited more, I shouldn't have picked a job that I hated over the only person in this world that had my whole heart. If I could i would go back, if I could i would tell you I love you more, if I could i would have forced you to come out your house more with me and we could've lived life fully together as we both deserved. I think back on all the memories i have of not only you but us together and they are something i will cherish till my last breath on this cold round ball we call Earth is gone. Dad you were my hero, my teacher, my healer, my couch, my therapist, my mechanic, my fisherman and so much more all in one person. Everything I am and know today is all thanks to you. When it was just you and I against the world the days were dark but they got brighter for atleast we had eachother. I shouldn't have left you causing it to become dark all over again for you but this time you were completely alone and had no one else to help lift you up for that ill never forgive myself. We should have been healing eachother but instead I left you to slowly lose all light and eventually all your pedals fell off and you were left a root. Till the day even that root hardened and dried up because I wasn't there to cherish , nourish, and water it daily. I hope you are happier then I could ever be down here without you now and I hope you are getting everything you have ever wanted and deserved up there wherever you are now. I try to talk to you daily and i hold my necklace with you in it every day I wake up and close my eyes. You will stay with me forever and you will always be number one in my heart and in my head. Please just call one more time so I can hear your voice again; oh what I would do to just hear i love you from your voice again. I can't wait for the day I can say hi to your face and not to the clouds. So I guess till that day ill stay here remembering you , talking about you and keeping your soul alive down here with me and those you loved dearly. I love you daddy forever and always to the moon and back. Keep resting easy.

Signed: Your babygirl forever