Am I Mothering Correctly?

As of January, 2022, I became a mother to twin boys. They are my first children with my husband, and, let me tell you, I felt incredibly lost at first. I was beyond exhausted, especially at the beginning. My boys were born through an emergency C-section at 35 and a half weeks. One of my boys, we shall call him A, was born at 6 pounds and ended up staying in the NICU for two weeks, as he could not breathe on his own. Our other boy, B, was born exactly four pounds. This period of time was filled with hormones, highs, lows, and questions I never thought I would be asking of myself. Over the next two months, as my husband and I got acclimated to our family doubling in size, I made the executive decision to go see a doctor, as I believed I was suffering from Postpartum Depression. I was quickly diagnosed and began to take Zoloft.

It took a lot for me to admit that I was struggling, as I did not want to believe I was "weak" enough to have Postpartum Depression. However, with much thought and reflection, I realized that not only for my health, but for the sake of my family, I needed to seek help. I cried all of the time, to the point of having panic attacks. I could not bond with one of my children. Truly, I felt as though I did not like him. I got so much time in the hospital to bond with B, while A was stuck down in the NICU. Every day, multiple times a day, I would say that I was a terrible mother, not just silently, but out loud to anyone listening. If anyone reading this has felt similar feelings, I want you to know that you are not alone, and the best thing that you can do for yourself and those around you is to seek help. There is nothing wrong with you needing some extra help. pregnancy takes an unbelievable toll on a woman's body and can reek havoc on everything from your hormones to your body shape.

My boys will be six months old in a few days, and I can tell you with absolute confidence that I love being a mother. Getting help was the best thing I could have done for myself and my family's wellbeing. As a mother, you have the important roll of being the center of a family, especially a stay-at-home mom, such as myself. If you did not take care of yourself, everyone around you will suffer. I used to question myself every other minute, until I realized that I was doing nothing wrong. My boys are happy, healthy, and strong. They have clothes, food, and a roof over their heads. Their basic needs are always being met, and I strive to stimulate their brains every day.

When it gets down to it, there truly is no way to "mother correctly", so long as you are taking care of your child's needs. Giving them your love and attention goes such a long way in their early development and in the way that you both can bond. Making sure you are in the best mental and emotional shape to help your family and support your children will have an incredible outcome on everyone around you. Taking care of yourself and getting help is not a sign of weakness. I believe it to be an inspiring act of strength that should be viewed admirably.

I know this is a brief story, but I hope that it can touch even one reader's heart. Please feel free to ask me any questions! I would love to hear from you! Thank you for reading!