Accept Compliments and Follow Your Dreams

I loathed winter as a child. There was never enough warmth flowing through my veins, always shivering no matter how many layers I wore.

Winter doesn't bother me like it has in the past. I enjoy what the seasons offer us, taking us through the cycle of growth and renewal. Winter is a time for rest, pause, and reflection. Then the process begins again.

Observing the change in seasons takes patience and allowing the process to take the lead. We know the process works because plants remind us that some things are intuitive even if we don't completely understand it, or why we are doing it.

Recognizing the magic of seasonal shifts was gradual; I may even declare winter as my favorite season. I love the natural opportunity to stop, listen, and adjust. These are the moments when we genuinely have the power to make necessary changes to evolve and improve ourselves.

The person in my life who changed my perception of seasons is my dad. We've always had an intuitive connection with a history of looking out for each other and offering advice. Creating awareness of how remarkable season change is not the only wisdom he shared with me. He was often quite introspective and taught me the value of remaining calm.

His career choice as a law enforcement officer means being calm, which was a critical part of his training. Even though he may not have always been that person at home, there were plenty of opportunities to exercise his ability to stay calm. As I grew older and his need to remain calm dithered, he passed on his lesson by telling me that staying calm in a crisis is essential and will offer the best outcome for everyone involved, which I'm sure he learned from his years on the force.

One night during my college years, I came home with a problem that seemed large and overwhelming to me, surely either concerning a man in my life or one of my classes. He listened to what was happening and offered me advice I consider to this day: “There is a reasonable explanation for everything.” It seems basic yet offers great wisdom. It is meant to remind us that decisions and actions are, for better or for worse, a reaction or response to other needs. Don't forget that reasonable does not imply “well thought out” or “intelligent.”

It seems like it is sort of part of the cop code to ensure your children understand rules and the uselessness of rebelling against them, and he reminded me in a way that explains the point without being critical. He always said, “Follow the rules because they are there for reasons you may not be aware of.” It reminds me of the scene in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels where Steve Martin's fork has a cork on it, leaving the audience wondering why until he accidentally hits his patched eye with it.

His work ethic was always admirable, and it was reflected in his achievements. I saw him celebrate several promotions and pay raises, and he remained humble and caring to the people in his life. Humility to him meant not expecting anything because he understood that life was unfair. He taught me that nothing can replace hard work, and he proved it right before me. Don't forget, if you're not doing the right thing, doing it well and with integrity, it's as if you're not doing it at all.

Promotions and achievements taught my father much about money and its power. His humility and work ethic maintained his approach to money, and his attitude toward spending never seemed to change. He exercised caution and a need vs want viewpoint. When my spending picked up speed, he would remind me to spend within my means, pay my bills on time, and don't forget to save.

More importantly, he saw the deeper issue: everything comes down to money. I am not sure how often he said that to me, and I usually think about it when I am trying to figure out the complicated motives of others. I can always trace some or all back to the financial benefit. So why is that important? He also reminded me that it's only money. It will come and go (try not to be irresponsible), and it cannot buy what we desire most in life, so don't stress too much.

Even at the peak of his career, my father remained humble about his achievements. Realistically, his success was the result of him just being himself. He is intelligent, friendly, social, a logical problem solver, and a great listener. Regardless of your field or specialty, a large part of climbing the career ladder is about your social connections. At some point, even as humble as he was, he recognized that compliments are golden because people see you in ways you can't see yourself. Compliments are pure, unfiltered feedback of the best kind.

These pillars guide my path; one took me longer than the others. He told me to follow my dreams because you can be and do anything you want. And if push comes to shove, he assured me I would have his support no matter what. This was one of the most encouraging things that stuck with me throughout my life, and I still believe it today. This has reinforced my patience in bringing things to fruition because I know that nothing replaces hard work, and it's okay if a significant shift means our financial situation is not stable; we know it's only money, and it can't buy the things we desire most. At least we are doing exactly what we want.

This winter was the best of my life. I stopped, listened, and reflected on what my most recent career move is allowing me to do. I've put in the hard work and did it with commitment and integrity. I've officially made my way to the other side and can now pay it forward.

As a licensed therapist, I understand so much more about the wisdom he shared daily, and he was spot on: there is a reasonable explanation for everything. As a mental health professional, I can now help people understand those associations and pass on some of the wisdom and lessons I've learned, all because I took the chance to follow my dreams.

Thanks, Dad, I love you.