About my first journey as a Gestational Surrogate. (Cont'd)

Just a Trigger Warning, there will be Graphic Content about death, and dying in this post.

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It was morning time when I received the news with my beta results. I already knew the answer, this was just confirming it. I sadly don't know what happened to the original first email BUT... I was PREGNANT from the first transfer... My second Betas email read "Results of September 12 BHCG are in - 2041! Congratulations!" I was so excited to tell my IPs!

They were very happy but hesitant to get too excited. Which is understandable. At the same time, my life would start to change... My (late) husband ended up in hospital *again* for the last time (but I didn't know that at the time) I tried my very best to keep my stress down while juggling life with a 6yr old and a 4yr old, pregnancy of a baby that wasn't mine but was loved unconditionally and what would become the best/worst year of my life.

I kept in contact as much as I could with him but he wasn't the same, his mind had changed he was forgetful and his health was the worst it had been yet. At least I could visit him, he was in the hospital in the same city we lived in. I would visit after taking our kids to school. Until the nurse told him he was being transferred to a hospital in the next province 5ish hours away. Which seemed so far away, because I couldn't just drive over and visit him while the kids were at school.

He was flown to Edmonton Hospital, where the liver transplant organization/resources are available. Where he stayed as he became worse and worse. I was able to speak to him less and less because of issues with his phone, sleeping or not feeling well, for some reason none of the nurses understood why I couldn't just be there with him. I had two small kids, plus I was pregnant. The nurses rarely gave me an update. I only got an update on the odd chance he was awake and coherent enough to talk to me. Most times it was like talking to someone with dementia. He wasn't able to officially get on the transplant list for his liver failure because his health wasn't there. Then I got the call from my father in law.

he told me they found him unresponsive but alive. They put him in a medically induced coma and life support. We were told to get there as soon as we could. After arranging things with the hospital staff, with kinsmen, and the people at the transplant office. We were off to Edmonton ( father in law, my kids, and I.)

We got there and we stayed at these rooms at the hospital for those who are having family at the hospital and or staff on call etc. We were there too early to check-in, so they let us stash our bags in a storage room. We ran up to his floor and called in and washed up to go into his ICU room to see him.

It was chilling to see him hooked up to all the wires and the tube down his throat. The machines beeping and breathing for him. He wasn't brain dead, but HE wasn't in his body. Normally if you touched his feet or he would flinch and scream out in pain. But at this moment, there was no reaction when that happened accidentally. We were told his heart was still in good shape, but there was fluid around his brain. They wanted to give him the medication and see if it will work, let it take its course. On the last day, we were told he had slightly gotten worse. They asked us what to do now. knowing he wasn't in pain. We decided on compassionate care, since his heart was still good, it meant that we had to wait and see if he would wake up.

We had to go home. I got the kids home, they were used to visiting dad in the hospital. So they thought it was just that, they were too young to understand their dad had just died. My husband had just died. I became a widow. I was officially doing parenting alone... I had an amazing support system with his family, my family and my friends. But that didn't change the fact I was parenting alone now.

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The pregnancy went as a normal pregnancy would, just with the added needles and medical intervention at the beginning. I enjoyed sharing the whole journey with my IPs as much as I could with them in Ontario, and me in Saskatchewan. I sent them pictures from the ultrasounds. I shared the gender with them. Even back in 2018/2019, they didn't let you film or video call during the ultrasounds... so that was hard. I felt bad I couldn't do that for them.

It was nearing the end of the pregnancy, the baby hadn't gone head down. (But it sure felt like it. OW, lightning crotch!) The baby was at an angle, head towards my hep butt up by my ribs, facing down. The Umbilical cord was in presenting in front of the babe. We were afraid the cord would try to come first, the babe was measuring 9 lbs 10 oz before birth. So no matter how much I tried she wasn't going to turn in my 5'0" frame...

IM arrived in Saskatoon! She was able to come to some appt and see the baby on ultrasound FINALLY! We decided a scheduled C-section was the safest route to bring babe earthside. I had never had one before. Both my kids were Vaginal births. I was TERRIFIED! I am so glad I had IM and my doula for support, I don't think I could have handled it as well as I did without them.

The baby was HERE, and it was a … GIRL! 9 LBS 1 oz. (still a big baby, no GD, but thankfully not as big as estimated) IM was over the moon, now she and babe got acquainted while they waited for Dad and Brother (their fur baby). Dad was elated too! That little girl has so much love from so many people. After a few days and many tears shed, off they went back home.

No matter what happened in my first journey. I do not regret it at all. I am so glad I was able to help a family. I am so glad to be on another journey to help another couple.

Keep an eye out as I will be posting about my current journey as well.

Thank you so much for reading about my First Surrogacy Journey.

Jessica