A Spring Day

The late March morning finally felt the way it had all those years ago, as warm as the blankets I just crawled out of. The sun shone through my window and for a full five minutes I just soaked in the warm gentle light and cleansed my lungs with the dewy, fresh air. Like always, my mind wandered and I remembered. A small part of me no longer fights the fact, that when I turn around, I won't see his face pressed into the pillow, fighting the morning lights early call. Instead, I am able to turn back, see my bed, and its exactly what I expect: my bed, covered in so many pillows they consume his entire side. This was the third spring I had faced alone, until today I had spent every day of what used to be my favorite season heartbroken. I remember walking through the fields and planting our garden the weekend before I lost my husband. As I get ready for the day, check in on the construction crew at the restaurant, and take their breakfast order I am finally able to feel the sun shining through to warm me. After making five omelettes with seasoned cheesy potatoes, I load up all my errands and head out for the day. When I walk into the restaurant, I am blown away by how perfectly our vision has been brought to life. A tear rolls down my cheek as I whisper, "We made it baby" into the empty hall. The music blasting from my car must have alerted the guys of my arrival, because they all came out holding forks and beaming. We sat down and ate together, reviewing the schedule for the day and checking in on the progress so far. It had been nice to get to know them over the last few months and I was going to miss our breakfasts together. As they jumped back into their cabinet installations, I hurried out to complete my to-do list. With each passing hour I was feeling better and better. Due to no lines at checkout, I was able to finish my errands by mid afternoon. After spending some time in the park, I saw a couple ride by on bikes. They were laughing as they raced to see who would pick up the check tonight. I smiled, closed my eyes, and i let the breeze wrap around me. It pulled my hair up gently and then placed it back down on my shoulders. When I opened my eyes, I made eye contact with a man across the walkway. He blushed and looked away, but quickly looked back again. To my surprise, my heart fluttered and I couldn't help but stare at him in awe. My heart hadn't fluttered since I first saw my Michael all those years ago. I walked over, introduced myself and we ended up walking around for over an hour. As I was driving home, still flustered from the intensity of the attraction I had to the man in the park, I started to daydream. When I looked around, I realized that I hadn't driven home, but instead I was at my husbands grave site. I walked up the hill and sat with my back against his headstone, like I had so many times before but this time I wasn’t crying. I told him about my day and even about the new man I met. The warmth the stone had collected all day made it feel as if he were hugging me. I unknowingly drifted off but was startled awake by the sound of a dog in the distance. It must have only been for a short time because it was still fairly light out. I bid my husband a farewell for the day and made my journey home. To my surprise, Mark from the park had called and left me a voicemail. He was already asking to see me this weekend. I was giddy as I called my best friend to tell her about my upcoming date. After a glass of wine, and lots of laughs, I refilled my glass, I started to prepare my salad, grabbing a head of lettuce and three carrots to soak, while I decided what else to mix with it. As I roamed the garden we had made, I looked to the sky one last time and soaked in the days last few rays of sunshine. I saw the sun disappear for a moment behind a low hanging pear from the tree at the edge of the property line. I walked over, and grabbed my last ingredient and finished my glass of wine.