A Rose is A Rose..

Grief is transforming, and when it is your Mother it ensues your entire life in a different way. My Mom was Sharon Rose, and this is a condensed version of how she was a flower in our world that can't be replaced. The grief is real, and how much she is missed is indescribable.

There were four of us children ,and our Dad, Al. Growing up in a pretty normal household with Mom's fabulous Sunday dinners of either her delicious, secret spaghetti sauce, or fried chicken, and mashed potatoes. We were in a house of love, and record players in the 1970's-gotta love those Carpenters! My Mom and Dad bought a house, and filled it with love! We are all grown now with our own children, and grandchildren, but when our Mom, Sharon Rose passed away there was a light that went out to never be replaced.

Mom was the one who would walk into a room, and be the one everyone would walk over to connect with, and get a good laugh! She was always silly, and seldom did I see her cry. She would listen to you, and instead of trying to solve your problem would choose another avenue (only wish I had more of that great quality). She loved life, and we were able to share summers together for forty years camping, and in the end years we were great friends enjoying many campfires, and long walks.

When the disease hit my my Mom, liver cirrhosis we were all shocked, and probably not accepting of this illness. My mom, however took it all with a grain of salt, and still wanted to hit the Casino, go to dinner, and keep on keeping on! So full of life! Her illness was an unforgiving, unattractive demon of a thing, and for my Mom who always looked polished it did her no favors. In the hospital bed in her dying days she still, though was making jokes about getting frisky with Dad! Interesting because they had just had been reunited after being separated for four years (another story to be told).

Sadly, I was not able to be at her side when she passed away. Mom passed on February 20, 2020-a couple weeks before America shut down due to Covid-19. Every night before she passed, working in two hospitals at the time I would look out at the sunset knowing that she was slowly deteriorating in another hospital. Panic, and anxiety would ensue every single night since before her passing, and months afterwards. This type of feeling that a loved one will no longer be in this world with such joy, and life to give was physically taking a toll.

Grandpa Dixon who was Mom's Daddy used to tell us about the Cardinals in which we sometimes thought it might be a loved one sending us a message that they were okay. Sort of a sign, and in turn giving us a sense of relief, connection if you will. Well, strangely enough exactly one month after the passing of Mom's death we heard a funny sound in the back yard of our home. My husband, and I could not figure out what was halfway up one of our giant, green fir trees, and then..the barred owl!

The great, barred owl screeched out a cry that resembles the phrase "Who cooks for you", and we knew it had to be Mom, Sharon Rose!! She certainly cooked for us, and to our surprise the Mama owl was watching over four baby owls! Four of us siblings represented in a sign from Mom that lessened the hurt, gave me some peace amongst the unrest of a death of a wonderful woman.