A Ride With My Hubby John

We left home with snow all around

Snow in the trees, on the ground,

in the ditches and on the roadway.

The roads were slick much of the way.

It was important to have all wheel drive.

Then two hours into our drive, we are alive,

no snow, at all. No rain, no ice. Still 30 degrees.

It was below freezing and still a breeze.

Unreal. My first thought was they aren’t going to have snow for Christmas. How sad! Next thought was, there is still time for snow.

We left home without breakfast as I had an appointment at 11:30. Hubby wanted to eat on the way to our destination. Hardees is his favorite fast food breakfast he says. A good two hours into our trip. My choice was a bakery just down the road about 30 minutes from home.

He did plead his case.

He did get to first base

He lifts weights every day

in the morning and hey

fast food breakfast is over

the left overs get fed to Rover

by the time he gets to town,

no more breakfast, big frown.

He plead his case and won

He is my man, he is number one!

As we are driving I make some calls and talk with my son, who had photography in high school. I have used my daughter for photography before. I’m hoping he will do as well. I need some photos for my book and the event after writing the book.

He agrees to give it a try. I could use some photos today I told him. He agreed.

The next call was to the sleep study scheduler. I heard nothing yet about the CPAP machine appointment. Severe must not be urgent as it has now been a while since the diagnosis. She says she will take care of what I found out was needed and I should check with the supplies dealer in an hour or so.

Hubby was patient as I took his old country music away from him while I made these calls. When he lost his channels he complained about the new country. He said it is hard to believe the new country can be called country at all. He is not impressed.

I told him I liked it and would like to listen to the new country. Nope. He kept looking. He says he remembers enjoying our rides up north prior to retirement when he could get old country everywhere up north. We then talked about how much he loves being retired and living up north.

“I am living my dream,” he said. “I am not working for anyone else and enjoying life a day at a time.” Then we started to talk about some of what we have been doing, especially my book project. I am getting comments like, elder huh? I want to read your book when it is finished.

I’m not always sure if that is curiosity or if they aren’t sure what I am talking about and would like to find out by reading it. Either way is okay I told him.

Then we got into this;

“Pat took photography in high school. I don’t know why I couldn’t have taken that. Instead home economics. What did I need that for? I don’t use it.”

He, looking at me discreetly, says as I look at him, “You don’t want me to dispute that do you?” and we both laugh.

“Just because I won’t sew a button on for you or repair a sweatshirt for you doesn’t mean I don’t know how. You need to learn because I won’t always be here to do things for you.” Then we laugh.

He says, “Okay, Edina.” Edina is his aunt who was hanging up her photos when we visited her. She said the worker in her building said she should get her things in order and that was what she was doing. “She doesn’t know what she is talking about as I am feeling too good to die!” Edina said.

Edina died at 103 years old. I am 70 and hoping for another good 10 years.

“It isn’t like I teach you home economics. It is important for you to learn the basics. Ideally, you could remarry. Maybe Marcene (his ex-wife) would take you back. She is single now. He doesn’t say anything, just shakes his head. I think I am hilarious. He would be lucky to get back with Marcene.

He was babied by her and their children. After we were dating, his daughter called me upset that her dad wasn’t home on time as usual. He was with me. She wasn’t used to him getting away from his routine.

They made appointments for him, and took care of his phone business. He will get upset with his phone experiences but so what. It happens to everyone. I will occasionally bail out the person on the other end of the phone line by taking over a conversation for him.

Like yesterday, he was talking with a woman about his television channels. She was clearly an Asian woman, speaking broken English. He wants to speak with someone speaking English. I explained to the woman that he had difficulty understanding her, so I would take the call.

I understand perfectly. He has white male privilege and that appears to allow him to not have any patience for anyone that doesn’t talk like him. I can say that to him. I’m not sure why he doesn’t get that, but he probably never will. He is 74 and he may say, and probably will never change.

I was in line at a grocery store when a couple were speaking their language and a man said, “I don’t understand why they don’t go back home to speak that.” They were Native American. I just had to say, “This is their home. The home of their ancestors and the language that has always been spoken here.”

Of course, it was important for the hubby to hear that story too.

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First published by Mercury Press on medium.com