A Letter to Life

Dear everyone who, in someway has witnessed my life, whether a faint memory, or a vivid memory. To those who have stood by my side, and to those who had to go. To those who taught me, trained me, and never forgot me..

Granting it is impossible to choose just one hero in my life, I would like to thank each and every one of you, for helping me shape the life I embody to this very day. Thank you for never giving up on me, as much as I wanted to give up on myself. Thank you for loving me, and supporting me with no strings attached, no expectations; but for letting me be myself, despite the fact that I had not recognized myself for many years. Thank you, for holding no judgement as I grew and taught myself how to cope with life, for growing up was no easy task. And thank you, to those beyond this realm, no longer with us, I hope I've made you proud.

Though I never went to school. Skipped class daily, no-showed, dropped out. Some teachers said I would amount to nothing, but very few never gave up on me, told me to be free, follow my heart, stay inspired by what I love to do. These teachers weren't just there to "work", they tried to know us on a deeper level. They knew I loved poetry, art, and music.. and when they'd catching me in the halls skipping their class, they'd say, "Kendra.. Go home and write me a piece of poetry" or "go home and paint me something nice".

Miss. Tebb's, my grade 10 English teacher, I'll never forget when you pulled me to the side, voice shaking and all teary eyed, telling me to get a career in writing, to become a poet because, "this is the best piece of writing I've ever received from a person of your age, and older". All I said was, "what the hell kind of a career is that?". I once wrote a paper on the collapse of todays civilization and how the school system was a joke and got 100% on the report. Thanks social teacher, who's name I can't quite remember but who hated society just as much as me.

I want to thank the downtown buskers, for never giving a fuck and pouring their hearts out to the millions of passer-bys, who also never gave a fuck about the buskers. You inspired me, you filled my ears with music and my heart with joy.. and when I asked you to play "Big yellow taxi" by Joni Mitchell, you did. I cried. You laughed. We sang. It was a time to remember.

To the old guy who would walk around my neighborhood with the giant Macaw, the first day I met you, there was no hello's, just knowledge and conversation. You asked me as I walked home from my bus stop, "did you know Macaws can live over 80 years old?" I said no, in utter shock, I was like 10 years old. I believe you inspired some interest that is my animal loving-nature today. Seeing that giant bird perched on your shoulder, letting me pet him occasionally on the days you'd see me on your daily walks. I hope you and you Macaw are still thriving.

Most of all, I wanted to thank all my family and friends. I wouldn't be here with out you, every single one of you. Though I may have, and may still be distant at times, just know, I think of you all every single day. Old friends and new, at some point you were there for me and I will cherish it until my last breath. I've always hated myself for having so much anxiety that I'd distance myself from all the people I love, and this could be just as much of a sorry letter than it would be a thank you letter.