A Great Deed

During the pandemic of 2020, I was essencial. I work as a notary, making house calls to sign documents and shipping them off. My schedule fluctuates so I'm pretty flexible to get extra time with my sons. My two boys, 8yr and 15yr were both ripped from their schools and confined to the prison we once called home. From ending 1st and 7th grade, to summer of noone, and onto 2nd and 8th grade. I made it clear thathat’s t they were to stay home but after 9 months of home, they were willing to do anything to get out. As a mama, I had to stay strong and hold my ground. My fiance stayed home with the boys, unable to get work and lend an extra helping hand to raising the puppy we welcomed in June.

I have been watching my boys closely during this past year. I want to say i’m shocked, surprised, or even astounded at the changes that have occurred, but anyone with basic psychology would have predicted this. My oldest has it easier. He can finish his online school, do his chores, walk the dog, maybe even see some friends while at the dog park. The time he has spent without a dog has been a blessing in this strange era and has managed to make it further along than my youngest. Lil man, on the other hand, has it much harder.

It’s hard being 8 years old, no friends near home, can't go to school, it’s too cold to play outside, and there is always a screen in front of him. One morning I was refilling my coffee when I asked him how class was going. This was the first time he turned to me, tears in his eyes and pain in his soul.

“Why can’t I just have a friend!” He whispered to me.

Oh my heart. Here it was 8:35am and my son was hurting. I have to leave for a 9am appointment. I immediately gave him the best, warmest hug I could give him and apologize about having to leave. This was something we would need to talk about as a family later and we could come up with things to help make it easier. With a plan in mind I said my good-byes and left for my appointment.

Only 15 minutes away from my home office, I double checked my bag before taking a deep breath and regaining my composure. After the meet and greet with my customer we sat down and began the signing process. She was an amazing woman and had a little girl of her own who was also going through online school. We spoke about the difficulties they must be going through, and the similarities between our kids and their current educational situations. Near the end of our appointment and I was about to begin my closing speech.

“Thank you so much for taking the time out today to meet with me, and it was such a pleasure to meet you. I hope you have a great rest of your night/day/week/weekend”

Basic, I know, but when you say it almost 9 times a day it’s hard to make it personal to everyone.

So here we are, documents are sealed in a folder and I turned to slide it into my bag when I noticed my customers daughter merely inches from my face. My boys used to do this a lot but it has been awhile so her sudden appearance was still surprising. She looked sad and down at her hands.

“Hey sweetheart, What’s wrong?” I asked, in the most soothing voice I could muster. This was not my day for littles.

“Its scary” She said, and held up her hand to me. She was holding a small bracelet. It had green and black beads with a black magnet for the clasps. “But he can have this and when he wears it he’ll know he’s not alone.”

Bring on the monsoon! My heart couldn’t take it and neither could her mother. I held out my hand as she gave me the bracelet she asked “Why are you so sad?”

Not helping little lady!

“Because your beauty will change the world. Thank you for this.”

She seemed happy by my response, smiled at me once more before following the sounds of her teacher reading a book to the class via zoom.

Us on the other hand were not ok. My customer already had the box of kleenex ready and had started wiping the mascara off her face that was officially leaving skid marks down her cheeks. After a couple minutes of composure and I got the mothers approval to really take the bracelet to my son, we said our good-byes and I left. I felt numb and tender in places I've been forced to harden just to keep my family safe. I couldn’t even bring myself to think about it.

When I finally got home (15 minutes is a long time if you're trying not to cry), I was on autopilot until I made it to my youngest son. He was still at the kitchen table trying to focus on math when I pulled him away. He started to protest until he saw my face and now had given me his full attention.

“Sweetheart, I met a little girl today at my appointment. She was also doing online school.” I started. He gave me the time I needed to speak through dry hiccups. It was starting to feel like I wasn’t going to be able to speak. The words were getting caught in my throat but i had to tell him.

“I am sorry, I didn’t get her name, but she… she is in 2nd grade also. She is doing just what you are and she wanted you to know that you are not alone”

I don't know how I managed to get intelligible words out but he heard me and started to cry with me. All the pain from that morning coming back to the surface. I scooped him into my lap, reached into my bag and grabbed the bracelet as I embraced him. We held each other until we were all dried up. As he pushed back to sit up, I showed him the bracelet.

“What’s that?” He asked me

“It’s from the little girl. To help you remember. That you are not alone”