A Father by Heart

At a very young age, my mother was pregnant with me. My biological father wanted nothing to do with me as soon as he learned my mother was pregnant. Signing away his rights, moving on with his life, as my mother struggled to get her life started with me and make life better for herself without him; knowing he wants nothing more to do with us. Once my mother finished school, she went into the military, going to boot camp, as my grandparents taught me how to walk, read, and write. Once she returned from boot camp, she moved away from her large family to her first stationed area. It was a new life, a new start for her.

My mother couldn't find a babysitter for me, so her boss let her bring me to work. All of her coworkers liked me, letting me play on the computer, practicing my Spanish as they worked. All her coworkers knew about me, except the one she was seeing. When he found out my mother had me, the first thing he complained about was, why hasn't he met me yet? That's how my mother met her husband. That's how I met my father.

As years passed, my mother and father had my three siblings. I was the oldest of the four. During childhood, my father and I had a good relationship; until puberty hit me. I began to rebel against how strict my father was. One day, in a fight I don't even remember, I told him how I didn't have to listen to him since he wasn't my real dad. Our relationship went downhill from there. All because of a mean comment I made as a child.

Every day, my father and I would argue over the smallest things. It became unnecessary at times. It became a broken household when my parents divorced for their own reasons. After my mother said we had to do family therapy, I began doing my part to try and become a better daughter, trying to communicate with him more, watch my tone of voice, and be more open. When I found out that he wasn't going to family therapy, I was livid. He hasn't changed, it's why my mother divorced him in the first place. His stubbornness was an issue. I was getting close to age 19, and our relationship wasn't going anywhere.

After Christmas of 2021, I left for Basic Military training. I had my birthday while in BMT. It wasn't until after school and BMT, I went to go home to see my family and pets. I missed everyone so much, including my dad. Even when our relationship wasn't perfect, I still loved him, and he was very proud of me. I've taken him for granted. I was such a naive child. He may not be my real dad, but he is my only dad and my dad by heart.

To this day, I hate it when people say I'll change my mind about having my own children. I keep saying I'll adopt, not just because I have a possibility of dying during labor, but because I know I'll still have a connection to my child, even when it's not by blood. It's by heart. Hearing someone say that you won't be as connected to the child, just because it's not blood-related, makes me irritated. I have no connection with my biological father, now do I? Explain that. I have one dad. It's the one that's raised me and dealt with my problems when he never had to.

I love my dad. He is my only dad and he had the chance to see me grow up and serve this country alongside him and my mother.

Family is never about blood.