A beautiful life

She is graceful and beautiful as the door opens and she walks in. I notice her straight away. Short hair, long on the sides, tucked behind the ears. Her tall, elegant figure, moves around the room, almost unnoticeably.

Twenty years later, I still remember every detail of the first time I saw her and how since then, she has changed my life in ways, I did not believe it could be changed. She swept me away just as she gracefully walked into that room the first time I saw her and she took a permanent place in my heart.

Some call her a woman, my sister called her "stepmom", my dad called her "my second wife". I called her Mom! From the first time I saw her to the moment she became the most important person in my life, I have loved her and appreciated her...maybe not enough.

Mom encouraged me, she nurtured my talents and taught me how to be kind. She told me that there is no point in holding a grudge and being mean because you gain nothing from it. She said: "You let them win by taking the time to think about them and how wrong they have done you." I didn't understand it at first but I know now she was right.

It was a hot sunny day in July. I have just returned from meeting my best friend. My father really disliked my friend as he was older than me and said I am not allowed to see him anymore. I protested as he was my closest friend but my dad had forbidden so it was going to be as he had said. I went to my room and was so angry about it. The door opened and my mom walked in. She asked me how I am feeling and I couldn't get the words out of my throat. I just looked at her and started crying. Mom looked at me and just said:

"You really love him, don't you?"

"He is my best friend! Of course I do!" I managed to get out as I was wiping my tears away.

She came and I buried my face in her shoulder. We stood there for a few moments as she let me cry in peace.

No words were needed and I never had to explain anything to her before or since. She knew me so well, before I even knew why I was sad, she already had the answer.

It was the 19th of February, my sister's birthday. Mom came into our bedroom and we sat by her side.

"I have something to tell you and maybe you won't understand what it means now, but I love you regardless and I know that we will make the best of the time left." She paused as she pulled away. Her eyes shifting from mine to my sister's and back, she took a deep breath and finally spoke.

"I have cancer. Very advanced and I don't have a lot of time left. But I promise to fight for more time and make the best of what we have left together"

Her eyes were shiny, filling up with tears. I was looking at the tears rolling down her face and was trying to understand why she was sad. We didn't know about cancer and what it does to a person so we didn't get as emotional. I knew it was bad but not to the extend of which she meant it.

She fought and she lived. Mom cried and laughed. She gave us a wonderful brother who we love unconditionally. This brave woman lived an extraordinary life and changed ours for the better. She shaped our future and she never even got to see it. She suffered at the end and when she left us, she left a hole and lot of broken hearts.

Mom's funeral was attended by over 400 people and every single one of them was touched by her kindness and love, one way or another.

A couple of months before she passed, she got to see and hold her firstborn grandson and the pain she had in her eyes when we said our goodbyes, was unimaginable and unbearable.

Mom was a person you could share your deepest, darkest secrets and not be judged for it. She loved unconditionally and I loved her even more. When she passed, a part of my soul died with her. No one has ever been able to fill that space and I don't think anyone ever will.

I am the person who I am today because of her love, affection, care and support. Mom is the best and she is always going to be my hero!