365 Day Journey.

Day 2

Today my husband woke up and acted like everything was fine, which is what he normally does when he gets overtaken with stress. However today I don't think I want to talk about our issues. I think I want to talk about how we met. Let's take it back to the beginning.

I was 9, I wanted to ride my bike, and that day my mom allowed me to leave our yard. What you don't understand is that was a huge victory! FREEDOM! I never left my mom’s sight and I never left our yard, but that day, I could. So I grabbed my bike and kicked the gate open and left, however right in front of my house was a boy, about the same age as me, playing with cars and ants. (Ewww silly boy) I ignored him and rode, nothing was getting in the way of me and my freedom that day. So I rode down the block one way, then turned around carefully at the alley, and careful not to enter the alley. God knows my mother had eyes and ears everywhere! And back to the other end of the block. I did this 3 times, and every time I’d pass my house this boy would be in the way, so I would have to ride in the dirt, now my very strict mother did not like dirt, or me getting dirty so this was not an ideal situation. So on my 4th pass by him, I said “hey, can you move?” Ok so I could have been nicer, but remember I was a free bird that day!!!!, he looked at me and continued to play. So I went on, now on the 5th pass by him I asked again, “hey can you move?” He didn't even look at me this time. So I told him, “fine, I’ll run you over!” And on my 6th pass by him I did just that, I ran over his stupid cars, but then he chased me and pushed me off my bike and ran home! I never told my mom, I mean I did run over his toys so I did not want to get into trouble so I kept this a secret of mine.

The next couple of days I noticed this boy playing with 2 little girls at the end of our block, it was nice to see new kids. I didn't fit in with the other girls on the block, we played together but not long, I don't know what it was but we were different, we liked different things, we had nothing in common, anyway, I tried and so did they, ( it could also have been that u I was the “new” girl until this boy and his sisters showed up) anyway, My mother was friends with one of the girl's mothers on the block and I remember a conversation between them, ( yeah I’m nosey, I eavesdrop)

Moms friend “ have you seen those new kids”

My mom, “yes, I’ve noticed them”

Mom's friend “ are you going to let your daughter play them?”

My mom “I don't know”

Mom’s friend “my daughter and my neighbor's daughter is not allowed to play with them”

My mom “ really?”

Mom's friend “yes, they're dirty, and look homeless”

My mom “ Ohhh”.

At that point, I think my mom's friend had to go, but my 9-year-old little mind was seeing red! How do you judge that way? Why do you think you're better than someone? Omg, I was so heated. I think subconsciously this was a turning point for me, From that point on, I never did anything just because someone else said so, I remember thinking, I'm playing with those kids regardless of what anyone says! I remember asking my mother about it later that day, and she told me I don't know if you can play with them, but it has nothing to do with the way they look. If they are nice kids, you play with them. And that was that. No more discussion. I started hanging out with that little boy's sisters, they came by all the time, I never played with the other girls on my block again. I had more in common with that little boy and his sisters. I did run into those girls in high school, however, we still never talked, just a friendly smile or nod. By this time that little boy and I were dating so, I had nothing to say to them. And if I did it was nothing nice!

The little boy and his sisters didn't live down the street long, maybe a yr, or so, then they disappeared, until one day, I saw him walking past my house, of course at this time we were 12, and he had fire engine red hair lol! We talked we hung out for a bit, we had a little crush then, and then once again gone. In hindsight that was a red flag! This man to this day disappears on me! In the store I turn around he’s gone, we go to families' houses for dinner or holidays, I look he's gone, he comes home from work, he complains and then he’s gone.

The next time he pops up is my sophomore year of high school, I was at gymnastics practice and I notice him watching. I guess his sister noticed me and told him, anyway, at the time I was dating someone, so we talked for a bit, I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend and we started dating, we both had just turned 16 at the time. That's when our dysfunctional roller-coaster love story begins! We’ve been together for 21 years this year. Married for 17 this year. I would say we’ve been through hell and back, but that sounds like a walk in the park compared to all the shit we went through! I’ll save that for another day.

Thanks for listening