You’re use of language is all wrong!

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“Vocal” Moderators please note!

This is an article about grammar and spelling

The grammar and spelling errors in this article, In this instance, are on purpose!

Thay can not be corrected!

You “Break” the article if you want them corrected!

(The jokes won't work if I do that!)

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You’re use of language is all wrong!

Your not doing it right!

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There are is the right time and a place for certain appropriate language.

And far too many are ignoring that!

I am talking about the sins of the overly zealous Grammar Police!

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It is especially annoying when someone is posting about a lost pet, something that has been stolen, or suicidal thoughts etc, and some ass hat pulls them up on spelling or grammar.

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As if that is somehow more important than the initial content and context.

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EG,

"My mother just died, She passed away last night. She loved this crowd and your all invited to the funeral,"

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When this sort of thing is posted, the last thing anyone needs is someone replying with the comment,

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"You meant, ‘You're,’ my dear"

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And yes, This sort of totally inappropriately timed crap happens far more often than any normal reasonable person would like to think it does!

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(The above is a REAL life example!)

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So in honour of such douche bags, I now offer!

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Some Slightly Altered Lyrics to the

Carly Simon Song

“You're So Vain”

To instead

“Your So Vain”

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Son of a teacher

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You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht

Your hat strategically dipped below one eye

Your scarf it was apricot

You had one ear on the conversation, as you heard yourself cavort

And all the pseudo thinkers dreamt that they'd be your friend

They'd be your friend and

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Your so vain

You probably think these mistakes are too spite you

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Your so vain (your so vain)

I bet you think these mistakes are too spite you

Dont you dont you?

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You convinced me several years ago when I was still quite naive

Well, you said such pretty expositions through which I could not perceive,

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But it was verbose bullshit through you’re oral arse

That took a while for me to see

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I had some notions they were misconceptions about the world, misconceptions about the world

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Your so vain

You probably think these mistakes are too spite you

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Your so vain (your so vain)

I bet you think these mistakes are too spite you

Dont you dont you?

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I had some notions they were misconceptions about the world, misconceptions about the world

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Your so vain

You probably think these mistakes are too spite you

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Your so vain (your so vain)

I bet you think these mistakes are too spite you

Dont you dont you?

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Well I heard you went up to Cambridge

And in you’re life, you naturally won

Then you spent your time down in Oxford

Always living in the figurative warmth of the sun

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Well your where you should be all the time

And when you're not, you're with a fellow snob

Or contact of a close friend, Network of a close friend and

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Your so vain

I bet you think these mistakes are too spite you

Your so vain (your so vain)

I bet you think these mistakes are too spite you

Dont you dont you?

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Your so vain

I bet you think these mistakes are too spite you

Your so vain (so vain)

I bet you think these mistakes are too spite you

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Dont you, dont you, dont you?

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Your so vain.

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Original song by Songwriters: C Simon

You're So Vain lyrics © Universal Music Corp., C'est Music, Encode Publishing

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For those who may feel insulted by my attack on the use of proper grammar,

I have the following plea…

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So, sorry governer,

I did not mean to step out of line

Nor not show proper N’ due respect to those above my station...

<Said while bowing and doffing my flat cap.>

Please forgive my most foul impertinence

I beg you, M’Lord!

Please call off your brave and noble Saxon guards!

Spare my poor families peasant cottage from your fire and sword!

For cruel cold winter is coming!

Show mercy!

Please!

Let us, unworthy peons, off with only brutal mass rapine!

I beg of thee!

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<Whispered very quietly>

Any and all criticisms of this article are proudly sponsored by the 'social class glass ceiling appreciation society' .....

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DO NOT GET ME WRONG!

I had once considered being highly educated, Also!

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But then I staunchly decided not to be,

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Just out of sheer ignorant stubbornness!

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Instead, I felt inspired by my school motto:

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Mutare non est meum

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yOUR wELCOME

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(And yes, that was done on purpose!)

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PS

My constant use of tautologies is also on purpose as part of my conversational writing style choice,

Not an error!

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Thought of the day:

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Forget verbal accents

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Forget clear pronunciation

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Forget Spelling

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Ignore Grammar

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All these things both change and muddy with the constant shifting of fashion and culture over time!

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The only truly correct form of ANY language is...

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Purist Mathematics!

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MATHS Vs LANGUAGE Vs ART!

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All of the text, of all human language, starts as some degree of a lie,

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Until it is refined to a proper point of clarity.

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Because all language was created to tell stories.

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This is why lawyers exist and make money.

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All Human maths sums start as some degree of core truth,

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Until it is refined to the point of being able to back someone's agenda!

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Because Maths was created to find and quantify facts.

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All Art is a type of Maths and form of Visual Text combined.

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And so both the first statements equally apply despite and because of all the contradictions that this will create!

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None of the three above statements can ever be strictly, completely, true!

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But as already stated,

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What else can you possibly expect from any statement made up of mere human text!

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